I think a lot about the people who read this blog. Do you have bipolar? Are you looking for help for someone who does? Are you suicidal? Did you just get out of the hospital or do something when you were manic that your feel really ashamed about now?  I’ve been able to answer yes to all of the above many times in my life. I want to remind people that is does get better. It just takes longer for some of us.

================================

Many people are encouraged to get in touch with their feelings and let go and experience life! I think that’s great- for most people. But there are those of us who can’t trust our feelings at all. For example, a friend and I went to karaoke the other night when I was really depressed – When her other friends came in, I felt she was ignoring me. My mind started to foresee the end of our relationship! It said, “How can she do this to me! What kind of friend is she! I am just going to leave without even saying goodbye! That will show her!” Oh, what on earth was I thinking? I wasn’t thinking- I was just in all bipolar emotion mode and had no command of the facts. I know that my feelings when I’m sick are manufactured from an ill brain- and these were definitely manufactured feelings. Understanding this has completely saved my relationships. 

As I sat there, with my feet up in the chair in front of me and my arms crossed over my chest like a petulant child- I looked at her back and just felt so left out and hurt. Then I got my perspective and said to myself, “Julie, this person has been a loyal, loving and kind friend to you for years. She is always there for you. She loves you. And the one night in the past few years that you go out and she pays attention to someone else- you freak out. You’re depressed tonight. You’re lonely. If she had this behavior on another night, you would simply go over there and sit with her instead of rolling in your miserable feelings over here. Now snap out of it! You promised yourself, you will never, ever take out your bipolar disorder emotions on a friend. If you have trouble with her behavior outside of bipolar, look at the facts and how you really feel and go from there. But if this is just because you’re depressed- then it’s up to you to treat her with the respect she deserves.” 

I put my feet down, uncrossed my arms, walked the one foot to her chair, put my hand on her shoulder and sat down. She was happy to see me. 

Julie

Depression stinks. It takes away my ability to think rationally and I hate it. That is putting it mildly. I’ve found that there are certain things I simply can’t let myself do when I’m depressed:

- Eat junk food to feel better (some people have to watch caffeine)
- Make big decisions such as canceling a project or telling someone I can’t see them anymore
- Keep seeing people who make me depressed! 

I also have to watch my driving as my reflexes are off. 

As you can tell, the depression has me today. I woke up crying. It’s from a combination of things- trying to work more, relationships, a friend’s illness, eating poorly! Many would say, well no wonder you’re depressed- but as those of us with bipolar disorder know, this depression goes beyond the normal reaction to outside events. This is physical and often out of my control. 

But! I can still get on with my day. I’m here to meet my business partner and I teach a writing class tonight. I can act as if all is well until it is. It always works. 

Julie 

Latest Newsletter: Holidays 

I just sent out a newsletter on holiday stress! This is a tough time for a lot of us. The newsletter is filled with great information to help you manage bipolar while still having fun.  If you didn’t receive the newsletter- check in your spam folder. Please add comments@bipolarhappens.com to your approved list so you get it for sure! I’ve reprinted the newsletter below just in case you can’t find it! 

Creating Positive, Stress Free and Enjoyable Holidays

Holidays are supposed to be such a wonderful experience. Television tells us this all of the time! And yet for those of us with bipolar disorder- as well as those who love us- holidays can be very stressful and ultimately unsatisfying for many reasons. This newsletter will cover some of the potential problems you may face in the next few months and then offer suggestions to help you manage and ultimately create a stable and loving environment so that you truly can experience the rewards of the holiday season.
STAYING WELL DURING THE HOLIDAYS

I guess the holidays sneak up on all of us no matter what part of the world we live in. In the states, we are getting ready for Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, and much more. It can be a very, very stressful time. Suicide is at its peak in the holiday season as well - while the excitement and travel associated with the holidays can send a person into mania overnight.

The Holiday Rush

Now is the time to get ready for the holiday rush. So many people with bipolar disorder either become overly stressed, irritated or manic from all the seasonal requirements or severely depressed during this ‘cheerful’ season. Let’s make this year different. You can create a plan now for dealing with the holidays before the decorations and obligations take over your life and make you sick.

Think Ahead

What are your plans for the holidays? Have you thought about how the next months will affect your bipolar disorder symptoms? Maybe now is a good time to think seriously about what you need to do in order to stay healthy and stable during this frantic time.

The first step is to check in and determine how you currently feel:

- How are you doing right now?
- Where is your bipolar disorder on a scale from 1-10?
- Are you stable?
- Is there an upcoming event that causes anxiety just thinking about it?

Sometimes we get so caught up in life that our symptoms creep up on us and we’re soon too sick to do anything.
Family and Friends Are Affected As Well
If you’re a friend or family member of someone with bipolar disorder, you can ask yourself the same questions. How is my loved one? Is she stable? Is he doing too much? What can I do to make things easier? Does the person I love go through a tough period because of the holidays? How can I help this year?

You Already Have the Tools

The good news is that learning to stop bipolar disorder mood swings is not always about learning something new. It’s often about stopping something you’re already doing. This is a simple way to get some stability in your life before the hectic holiday season starts. Personally, I’m going to do absolutely as little as possible this holiday season. I will go to friends’ houses and let them cook! I’m creating checks and balances now that will make sure that my time with friends and family over the holidays will be relaxed and fun. I no longer buy presents and am very careful to be ready for family stress.

What Can You Do Now?

Is there anything you can stop now in order to prevent bipolar disorder mood swings over the holidays? Have you thought of what’s coming up and how you will deal with the shopping, food and family obligations? It may be a good time to add a holiday card to your Health Cards or ask someone for help in planning events. It’s also a good time to reread any of my books you may have! If you’re already depressed, you have to treat depression first and then get ready for the holidays. Waiting for the holidays to make you feel better may not work as well as you would like it to. But feeling better before the holidays will make a difference.

Tips for Staying Stable

Mania, anxiety and depression are serious problems during the holidays. It’s important that you’re ready with a plan before the symptoms start.

* Be very careful about sleep changes due to travel. Time changes are triggers of bipolar mood swings and we all have to be careful when we travel. One secret is to start the time change weeks before you actually leave. For example, if I’m traveling to a place with an eight hour time change, I will slowly make the change in the weeks before I leave so that I’m on the destination’s schedule before I even get on the plane. This can prevent the mood swings that can really wreck vacations.
* Holiday parties are fun, but they sure are stimulating. There’s lot of fun food and alcohol and many people see it as a time to let go. This can be over stimulating for those of us with bipolar disorder. You need to think carefully of what you can and can’t do. Start to think now about the checks and balances you can set up in order to stay well. For example, limit the alcohol and junk food, go to the parties but leave early if you have to, and ask for help from friends and family.
* Say no without guilt. I really mean this. Just say no if you know that something is going to make you ill. Remember, you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone and if cooking a holiday turkey (or whatever special holiday dinner you have in your country) is too much for you, then just say no. If decorating the house for the holidays is too much, then don’t do it. You really do have the final say on what you do and don’t do. Take advantage of this power and SAY NO! This may break a tradition at first, but if you explain the reasons, people often understand- at least they will when you do the same the next year!
* Families! Well, it can be pretty stressful for families during the holidays. Take your Health Cards with you to family gatherings and use this time as a way to introduce your family to your management plan. Make a decision before you go to any get-together that you absolutely will not get into stressful discussions no matter how hard someone baits you. Picture yourself walking away and then do it if and when things get heated. Another solution is to have a holiday season away from your family. You have so many more choices than you think you have. Always make the choice that keeps you healthy. If you do find yourself in a contentious situation and you start to cry or have a panic attack, remove yourself from the situation and do everything you can to get back on track and join the party again.
* Spending is such a big issue during the holidays. When I first started using the Health Cards it became very obvious that the emphasis on spending had ruined the holidays for me. So I made a decision- I stopped giving presents completely and asked others not to give me presents. The relief was enormous and the holiday time became about family and friends again instead of rushing around in over stimulating shopping malls buying things that no one needed any way. I read a book called ‘Unplug the Christmas Machine’ and stopped seeing Christmas as a spending orgy and decided it was more about family. If you are religious, then this may be a good time to rediscover what the holidays mean to you outside of shopping. Whether it’s Christmas, Hanukkah or the particular holiday your country celebrates, try to make this year the year you change the focus from things to people. It’s a lot less stressful and very few people ever became manic from a family hug! Believe it or not, just reading what I wrote here makes me feel a little stressed. The holidays really can be overwhelming. I’m glad I’m thinking ahead.
* Try the daily check in. At a certain time every day, check in and ask yourself how you are on a scale of one to ten. This can help you slow down and see if a mood swing is starting. If you feel a symptom, go to the Health Cards and look in the What I Can Do column and stop the swing before it goes too far. I often set the beeper on my watch to remind me to do a check in during stressful times.
* Loneliness. I’ve had quite a few letters from people who say they are very lonely during the holidays as bipolar disorder has taken most of their friendships. This is often a reality of this illness. As many of you know, I also lost most of my friends when I was ill. There are many things you can do to make these holidays less lonely, but over all I still suggest that working on becoming a good friend by stabilizing your bipolar disorder with the Health Cards is the first step in taking care of the problem. Here are some suggestions for making the holidays happy and fun when you’re lonely:

- Volunteer to help others on the major holidays. Believe me, people in a homeless shelter, battered women’s shelter, youth home, or hospital would love your company. Make it a goal to help others this holiday season and make sure you do the following: Don’t talk about your problems and your illness when you do this work. This puts people off and is a barrier to new friendship. Try to get outside of this illness and be the real you. Listen to what others have to say and get interested in something besides your own mood swings. And yes, you can get out and do things even when you’re depressed.
- If you have the money, go to a singles event for the holidays. Go there with the idea of making friends and being social. Make it a goal to listen to others and hear about their lives. Keep talk of yourself to a minimum and work on listening to what other people have to say. I emphasize the listening part because I know that when I was sick and lonely, I tended to talk about my problems constantly instead of opening myself to learning about other people.

- Get back in touch with any family members you may have alienated when you were ill. Tell them about the Health Cards and ask them to work with you. It never hurts to try.

- Make it a goal that by this time next year you will be healthy and stable enough to have strong and loving friendships. Do the work on yourself now so that you don’t have to be lonely during the holidays ever again. If I can do it, you can do it too.
No matter what, if the holidays are important to you and you don’t have any plans - now is the time to make plans. You don’t want to be alone and depressed when everyone on TV is having so much fun. I’ve been through this and it’s not nice. There is always somewhere to go and someone to see if you plan far enough in advance. If you’re already having suicidal thoughts, it’s time to do something about them before they take over completely. Use the Health Cards, go see your doctor and get some help. As you have heard me say many times, suicidal thoughts are a normal part of bipolar disorder but they have to be treated quickly and effectively so that you can get back to your normal life.

There is an event group throughout the United States called www.meetin.org. This group offers events throughout the holidays. The group is expanding to other countries as well. I have been a member for over a year and love it. You can also look for groups and events on www.craigslist.org.
*Think about the holidays before you simply rush into them.*
Start Your Plan Now

Hopefully these tips will help you to stop and take a look at yourself today, before the mad rush begins. This is the time of year I tell people with bipolar disorder to watch their stress levels very carefully. It really is ok to say no to people and events if it means you can spend stable quality time with the people you love. Think about the holidays now and create a plan. That is what I’m going to do. I know you can do it as well. Make this a time to appreciate what you have and how far you have come, despite bipolar disorder. The holidays are not only about gifts or parties, they are about people. And the best gift you can give anyone is your own health.
 
Book News
My new book, Get It Done When You’re Depressed: 50 Strategies For Keeping Your Life On Track will be released January 2, 2008. We will be offering pre order discount specials from our website in December. Be sure and watch for details in your inbox from us.

My new book, Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder: a Four Step Plan for You and Your Loved Ones to Manage the Illness and Create Lasting Stability is now available in bookstores and on Amazon.com. This book is also available as part of a package from the home page of bipolarhappens.

My book Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder: Understanding and Helping Your Partner is available in stores and on amazon.com. This book was written for couples, but the tips work just as well for family members and friends. This book is also available as part of a package from the home page of bipolarhappens.

As always, if you find my books helpful, please go to amazon.com to post a review. It also helps if you ask your local bookstores and local libraries to carry the book. You can also suggest a copy for any mental health groups you belong to. Your support is so appreciated!

New
We are now offering the Full Package (all 6 books in hard copy) in two easy & affordable payments of  $82.00.
*No additional shipping or handling!

It’s easy, you are charged $ 82.00 now, we ship your full package of books and provide you your immediate download links. You will be charged the second installment in 30 days.  A simple and an affordable solution for the holiday budget.

The Full Package is perfect for spouses, parents, siblings, Health Care Providers, friends, family and of course, your loved one with bipolar disorder. Were so sure that this package provides you with what you need to manage bipolar disorder that we have added no hidden costs or fees in our payment plan. You can visit the home page of the web site to access this offer.

Happy Holidays!
 
Remember Bipolar disorder is an illness-
Not your life.
You can get better.
Julie Fast
www.bipolarhappens.com
 

We are now offering the Full Package (all 6 books in hard copy)
i

A simple and an affordable solution for the holiday budget. The Full Package is perfect for spouses, parents, siblings, Health Care Providers, friends, family and of course, your loved one with bipolar disorder. Were so sure that this package provides you with what you need to manage bipolar disorder that we have added no hidden costs or fees in our payment plan.

Click Here To Order 

What You Will Receive With Every Full Package Order: