My bipolar disorder symptoms started with hypomania at 17. I didn’t realize this until I sat down and really thought about my teenage years. Many people have their first major episode in their 20’s- mine started earlier. My ex partner had a lot of depression before he had his first major manic/psychotic episode at 22. That was a terrible time for sure. When I think back of what he told me about college- he was definitely depressed for a long time. He told me he thought about suicide when he was a little kid. He didn’t have an episode after that for a long time- then college at 19 and he got depressed and left school.
If you have bipolar disorder,it’s really interesting to write a paragraph about what you remember between the ages of 13-19. What was the first sign you had bipolar and how long did it take from that time for [ Read More ]
That sounds like a boxing match. People who have full blown mania have Bipolar I. People who have hypomania have Bipolar II. It’s extremely important that you know what diagnosis you have.
I have quite a few friends with bipolar I. All of them have been in the hospital because of psychotic mania. If you have been hospitalized or you know someone who has been hospitalized for mania- they have Bipolar I.
I have Bipolar II. This means that I have all of the same depression symptoms as Bipolar I,but my mania is milder- which is why it’s called hypomania. Hypomania is so sneaky- it can destroy your life just like full blown mania- but because it’s milder it’s usually seen as a lack of personal control and is often not diagnosed.
Do you have full blown mania or hypomania? I talk about this in all of my books. It’s important to know the [ Read More ]
After I wrote the last blog on being manic- I stated to think of a part of mania that isn’t talked about a lot- egotistical thoughts- the technical term is grandiose thoughts.
I remember when my former partner first started to get sick. He is such a mild mannered wonderful person who is always pretty low key. Before he went into the hospital,I found a paper where he had written,“I am a genius and I can’t tell anyone.”
I had no idea what this meant at the time. This didn’t fit his personality at all! And even though I’d had hypomania since I was 17,I couldn’t identify with the genius thing. As my bipolar has gotten worse,I do go into ‘I’m the greatest person in the world’ mode once in a while. I can laugh about it! I just have to make sure I write it all down on my Mania [ Read More ]
I wrote my last blog about a talk I gave this weekend. It was such a great experience- and I am very aware that a few years ago it was an experience that would have been too stressful for me to even contemplate. But after years of work,I was well enough to reach a dream- to help people who are in crisis by talking to them in a live setting.
I did all that I needed to do to stay well. My trusted business partner Laura went with me- she helped with all of the set up. My hosts,Susan,Hank and Sheila did all of the preparation for the talk. I made sure I got enough sleep the week before- (it’s boring to get home early every night,but I had to do it) and I had a plan ready for how I would feel after the talk. In the past,the [ Read More ]
I went to Eugene,Oregon in the western United States this weekend to give a talk on mental illness. I told my story and then talked about mental health in general. The turnout was amazing. Over 200 supportive people were in the audience. They listened with such intensity- I could tell how much the subject meant to them.
Family members were the majority of the audience- there is so little help for the family when someone they love has a mental illness. I met the parents of people with schizophrenia,bipolar disorder and depression. Some of them have children with so many symptoms it’s hard to pinpoint a diagnosis. They asked questions about ECT,caretaking,nutrition,stigma,why hospitals feel like jails for some patients,the role of the family,suicide,the signs of specific illnesses and how to deal with emotions when a child is missing.
I woke up depressed. I was up a few nights ago so I’m obviously rapid cycling. I called a friend to tell her I was manic- this is part of my treatment plan- and she said,“Ok. What happens next?” I said,“Well,I feel so good right now,but I will probably go down. It always happens even though I never believe it will. I just have to look at the way it has been in the past.” Two days later I am down.
When I was sitting in my bed with what I call stunned depression- this is where I just sit and worry and can’t seem to move- I used my drill sergeant voice I talk about in my last book and I said,“Get up Julie. Get up and get on with your day. Get out of this bed!” And I did.
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