When I wake up in the morning I can always tell- immediately- what mood I’m in. I either have a thought or just an overwhelming feeling about what I will face during the day.
When I wake up depressed, I have the thought, “There’s no point to my life.”
When I wake up manic- if I managed to sleep enough at all! I have the thought, “All right! I’m going to get so much done today!”
The depressive thoughts are more like a flood or terrible emotion- they can cloud my day all day if I let them.
The manic thoughts are like a blast of sunlight and I spring out of my bed like an athlete.
I use this time of the day to gauge my mood before I even leave my room. I have to be that self aware. If it’s depression, I say to myself, “Ok Julie. [ Read More ]
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This is what I wrote in my journal last night when I tracked my mood. I’ve tracked my moods every night for over four years. It is an amazing tool. Usually, I can tell by looking at a month of data what was helping and hurting the bipolar. These last few months have not been as obvious. I’ve just had so much depression that doesn’t seem related to any event. It’s causing events! When this happens, I try to look deeper into what my be exacerbating the depression. 1. I know it’s bipolar disorder. It’s al illness. There is nothing wrong with me. 2. I’m very upset and worried about my brother. I’m once again to the point of not spending time with him due to his moods. He’s a wonderful man, but he won’t get help for his [ Read More ]
Here is a great question from a reader – Amy- regarding Lamictal (Lamotrigine) side effects.
My 18 year old son with BP, anxiety, depression, OCD, ADD tried Lamictal from March to June of this year and once he got above the 100 mg. mark he developed facial tics (squeezing his eyelids shut and mouth grimaces). We went off Lamictal gradually for about one month, and the facial tics disappeared. He had about 3 weeks completely off, then on the advice of Dr. Papolos (author of The Bipolar Child), we started up again and he is on 25 mg./day. So far, so good. But that dose is really equivalent to 50 mg/day because he takes 1500 mg. Depakote as well, and Depakote intensifies the Lamictal in the blood.
Has anyone else experienced facial tics with Lamictal? Dr. Papolos as well as my son’s current pdoc had never heard of that, but a friend who researched [ Read More ]
I had a wonderful day yesterday. One reason it was wonderful is that it was so NORMAL.
All of us with bipolar disorder strive for one thing- normalcy and stability. Then we can choose things to make us happy and avoid things that make us unhappy- it would be a choice!
I taught a class on writing bestselling non fiction books yesterday. It was just great. I’m finally well enough to plan and teach my own seminars. I’m thankful.
I went to bed tired from real work instead of being tired from being sick all day!
Then, when I woke up this morning, the depression was here. It’s mild, so I will get rid of it. But it’s here. Unfair.
Here are words to describe bipolar disorder: relentless, scary, cruel, awful, petulant and UNFAIR!
At least I know what is going on and can make a joke about it.
I really like answering reader questions- unfortunately, I’m limited by time, the illness itself and my darn hurt thumbs, but I will get to as many as I can. If you go down two entries, you will see a reader comment about my teenagers with bipolar disorder entry. I answered the question half way and will do the rest later tonight!
If you have read all of the entries and want some more information on my work, please visit www.juliefast.com
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Mom Brain Podcast
Listen to Julie’s latest interview on bipolar disorder and mental health in children, teens and adults on the Mom Brain Podcast with Hilaria Baldwin and Daphne Oz.
The health information contained herein is provided for general education purposes only. This site should not be seen as a substitute for an official diagnosis or for professional health care.
