Bipolar disorder and hope

I have a new plan when I wake up in the morning.

I often wake up depressed,so these days I say to myself:

What do I want to accomplish today?  (Work on my book proposal)

What do I need to do to reach that goal? (Go to the library and work on it!)

What is my financial goal today? (To use cash only and not eat out for lunch)

Why am I doing all of this? (Because 2009 is my year to improve my health and wealth!)

This really gives me a perspective on the day and most importantly- I see that the reason I need to work hard today is so I can have the life I want in the coming years. This helps the depression a lot!

Julie





Bipolar Disorder and Honest Relationships

Being honest with the people in your life is very,very hard. I’ve found myself staying in friendships and listening to things I don’t like or don’t agree with just to be a good friend who listens and accepts the other person. This is something that is preached to us a lot- we need to be rational and non judgmental. And yet,there are things people do that I don’t like,but to be totally honest,I’m scared to tell the truth as I fear the relationship will end. I fear that I will come across as non understanding and needy.

I then try to be a good friend by saying to myself- it’s her life- it’s his choice. It has nothing to do with me.

And finally,as a result of this dishonest ‘understanding’ on my part,my upset with the other person’s behavior festers and then comes out in one big scream on [ Read More ]





Bipolar disorder and anger/aggression/irritation

- I don’t want to be a raging lunatic on the phone like I was on a call to my bank! I just lost it. I had one of those days where my physical reaction to things was way off. I can tell when it’s meds. It’s different from being angry- this is out of control I want to thrown my phone through the widow anger.  I made sure I didn’t take it out on others too badly- I have learned to control myself. But it’s hard.

There are so many meds that can cause this kind of anger and aggression.  You know it’s the illness or the meds when it literally comes out of nowhere- it’s not a normal part of your personality- you watch yourself and think what in the heck is going on with me- and your behaviors are odd such as cussing as loudly as possible for longer than normal!

 I [ Read More ]





Posted on February 17th,2009 | Category:Uncategorized

Reader Comment:Risperdal (Respiridone) and Cognitive Fuzziness!

Here is a letter from V. about her son and Invega- also previosly known as extended release Risperdal.

Julie,

My son has been treated for bi-polar with a mix of medications which includes Invega.  This is a newer version of risperdal which is supposed to have fewer side effects.  I think my son is suffering from reduced cognitive functioning,like he is in a fog.  It is hard to tell because he definitely had a real drop in IQ testing (about 20 points) which the doctors thought were due to his anxiety and depression at the time of the testing,but I think it might be the meds too.

He seems “dumber”than ever and complains about it.  He used to be very sharp,although he had other emotional problems which are better controlled now.  Do you have any experience with invega or has anyone heard of this?  He also seems to have significantly thinning [ Read More ]





Bipolar Disorder Depression and Worries

Yesterday was a tough day…

And I woke up with IT again this morning.  I call depression IT because I want to remind myself that IT is  not me! The language of depression is so predictable-  how does it know where to hurt me the most!  I was pretty sick yesterday,but I kept going as I always do. It was hard to work and I know my mom was worried about me. I managed to feel better by the time I went to sleep. Bipolar disorder can be such a vicious illness simply because it causes you to examine all that is going WRONG in your life over and over again.

 When I woke up too early this morning,my brain did a cascade of thoughts regarding the two people in my life who are causing me stress. It just wouldn’t stop on its own,so I made it stop. Yes,I am having [ Read More ]





Bipolar Disorder and your social life!

How to add spice to your social life…

I get really lonely when I get sick. Even though I have a lot of friends,I still miss the company that comes with belonging to a social group. This happens because I work on my own. I think a lot about ways to get myself out in public and a part of a group. Here are some suggestions:

Toastmasters. Wow,what a great group of people. Toastmasters is a worldwide speaking organization. I was in a group for two years and still have friendships with the people I met years ago. If you’re thinking,OMG,I can’t speak in public! Well,that is what it’s all about. It makes you able to speak in public! It’s also a great way to learn how to run an executive style meeting and become a leader in the community.

http://www.toastmasters.org/

Boys and Girls Clubs- what a [ Read More ]





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