Watch out for summer bipolar mania….

Bipolar Mania

Oh man, I had a terrible up swing yesterday! The problem with mania- well, there are so many problems with mania it would take a year to write them all down. The problem is that there are so many forms and they are all so sneaky. I’m an expert on mania treatment now- I have done everything possible to notice the signs of mania and get the mania to stop. And it still sneaks up on me.

I had a strong hypomanic episode yesterday. It started out fun and then felt like I was on a way too fast merry go round. I could feel my brain warping. I got so excited about my work I was giddy. It was a bit scary. I actually couldn’t tell if I truly was excited or if it was a mood swing. Looking back, it was 100% mania. People don’t go that wild when things [ Read More ]





If It’s 10PM, I’m in my room getting ready to go to bed…

Oh my, the socialite has changed. That’s me. I made two huge goals this year regarding health and wealth. They take a great deal of concentration, planning and wellness. To stay well enough to work the 20-25 hours a week I know I’m capable of working, I had to make great changes- in many ways they require a lot of sacrifice. Here are a few…

I go home early, at least six nights a week. I’m in my room by 10PM and try to have lights out by 11PM. I listen to podcasts and can hopefully fall asleep on my own. This is hard when I get slightly manic, but I still make myself get in bed. I take meds if I have to. I can’t listen to anything too stimulating before bed such as loud music, conversations, DVD’s etc. I listen to calm sports radio shows and positive thinking CDs.  I know that if [ Read More ]





Bipolar Disorder.. it’s always something!

I always know I’m depressed if I wake up and suddenly hear an avalanche of negative thoughts.  Sometimes I wake up and think- hmm, what fun things do I have to do today? Those are miracle days where I just get out of bed and look forward to the hours ahead.

I had extreme trouble sleeping last night. True insomnia- it’s so different from mania sleep issues. I had to take two ativan (A benzodiazepine/anti anxiety med) – two ativan means I will get really tired this afternoon. I usually stick to one. But at least I finally got to sleep around 2:30 AM.

This means I lost the hours of work I was going to do this morning. What can I do but just get on with it! I’m lucky I didn’t have a deadline this morning.

I’d rather be tired than depressed. I made a list of my plans for the day. I [ Read More ]





Posted on March 18th, 2009 | Tags: , , , , , , | Category: Bipolar Treatment Tips

Get it Done When You’re Depressed: Put Yourself in a Place You Can Work

Well, have you ever done a project that you just love and are so proud of? That is how I feel about Get it Done When You’re Depressed . This is a big thing for me as I was not able to feel much pleasure in my work for over five years. I spent a lot of time just dealing with the mood swings and complaining that I could do so much more if I didn’t have this darn illness!

Anyway, I use the tips in this book daily. On many days they are intuitive as I have used them so much- but when I’m ill, I have to remind myself to use them as everything seems so hopeless and pointless. I used one today that really worked:

Put Yourself in a Place You Can Work 

I have a constant struggle with just sitting down and writing. Today I met my friend Sherri, who is [ Read More ]





Bipolar Disorder: What does it mean when you say you’re sick, Julie?

I have friend who ask me, “What does it mean when you say you’re sick?”

Here’s an example of what I mean: I took on a great job writing an article for healthlyplace.com where I wrote the main mood disorder articles for the site around two years ago.

It is a very realistic assigment for me and is well compensated. I have all of the skills to do it and a great reference in my coauthor Dr. John Preston. I also have plenty of time to write the article. And yet, I started to get ill the day I started the project.

How do I know this is illness? Here is what happened.

1. Overwhelmed and consumed with jealousy when I saw strangers at a coffee shop who looked cooler and happier than I am. 2. I feel like my life is missing something that others have and that I want and need more to [ Read More ]





Posted on March 15th, 2009 | Tags: , , , , | Category: Uncategorized

Bipolar disorder and morning depression…..

I woke up depressed and stressed….

I woke up and felt a cascade of negative thoughts.  There was a song going over and over in my head. I felt doubts about my latest book deal.  When I poured milk on my cereal, my brain started counting the way the milk came out of the container. 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-

I’ve talked to other people who have the counting thing as well. I only get it when I’m stressed or psychotic! And it always ends with eight!

Then there are the thoughts that I will be lonely all weekend and that the article that is due tomorrow won’t get done.

ALL LIES.

I just want to get on with my day and I will. I have now heard all of the bad stuff my brain has to offer- for the rest of the day I will replace it with the good stuff I have to offer my brain. I [ Read More ]





Posted on March 14th, 2009 | Tags: , | Category: Depression
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