Here is a great comment regarding my post about relationship confidence- it’s so inspiring, I thought it would be a great post that people could read when they wake up tomorrow morning!
Hi Julie,
I know exactly what you’re talking about!
And I also knew, that living in a new city, I was never going to get out of the depression I’m still recovering from if I didn’t start developing relationships with people here.
I made a commitment that this semester I’d make a concerted effort. So I’ve been forcing myself to act as if people have every reason in the world to want to hang out with me, work with me, etc., and am getting very positive responses. I’ve even started joining meetup groups and getting together with people I don’t know at all. I think I might finally be getting close to the point in recovery where I can also start to reach [ Read More ]
I’m amazed at how my lack of confidence in myself often gets in the way of new relationships. If you don’t believe you’re good enough for someone, you will do everything possible to make sure you don’t get rejected by doing the following:
1. Never contacting the person even when they show signs of wanting to meet with you.
2. Stay with someone who is not right for you simply because it’s comfortable and the person won’t reject you.
3. Never ask a person to join you in a business deal because you are sure they would say no anyway!
Yes, the list is endless and I have to admit I have done a few of the above myself. I’m working on it. I have an exceptional business coach. She introduced me to one of her clients because she thought we would hit it off. I had lunch with her client and it was [ Read More ]
This is a great comment about work, so I have to put it here. It’s inspirational to see that we all go through similar things- that’s because it’s an illness!
Hi Julie,
I can relate about work. I am a writer in a high-pressure full-time journalism job. I live with bpII with features of ADD and OCD. (Meds are Depakote and Strattera, with the possibility to soon add an anti-depressant, probably Prozac.) What I struggle with most along intellectual/spiritual lines is the fact that I seem to present myself many times as a person with dual and opposing facets. I am an intense, driven and proven successful person in my field with the penchant to pore over projects, revise, and not let go of them until deadline time is upon me, in a quest for full accuracy and near-perfection. Some would see me as “having it all together.” However, I’m also the person who has [ Read More ]
I flounder without a very rigid schedule. If I have too much free time, the thoughts take over and life can get pretty miserable. When I’m well, I don’t have to worry about this, but as I deal with depression pretty regularly, I realize that being scheduled is a lot better than the ‘let’s see what happens’ mentality.
Those on disability or those who can’t work much still need set schedules in order to stay happy and stable. My dear friend Sherri and I talk about this all of the time. Since her manic episode in 2007, she has not been able to work like she used to- and yet she still needs to work intellectually! It’s a rotten situation to be in. So we talk a lot about her schedule and what she can do on the days she doesn’t work. You can only meet so many friends and go to so many coffee [ Read More ]
Internet dating was one of the most stressful experiences of my life! In fact, it can be stressful for people without bipolar disorder! I stopped using the internet to date over a year ago. What a relief! I have to admit I did meet a lot of guy friends that way, but the other people I met… whew! A lot of trouble!
Maybe internet dating works for you- but if you find it making you obsessed or even psychotic as it does for me, there are other ways to meet people that are less stressful.
I have friends who met on Match.com, etc- but they are pretty calm and could handle the constant email and constant judgment from strangers! Not me! I used to put up profiles when I got manic. Now I use my mania more wisely. ha ha.
I always find weekends difficult when I’m depressed- so I make sure I always have something to do on a Friday and Saturday night. As many of you know, I’ve decided to remain single for the rest of 2009, so I spend a lot of time with friends. When I’m well, I can do things on the spur of the moment- but I know myself too well, so I plan very carefully for the weekend nights. Otherwise, my plan to stay single gets a little lonely!
Do you have trouble on the weekends? It’s probably a cultural thing!
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