2009 April « Straight Talk on Managing Bipolar Disorder

Welcome to the Julie Fast Podcast

My new bipolarhappens.com podcast series on bipolar disorder basics is ready to go. The first entry below is a welcome to the podcast with general information on future topics. I will now be able to answer more reader questions! If you look to the right of the blog- there is a list of all the podcasts currently available.

Julie

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No Drama Bipolar Lifestyle

One Bipolar Drama After Another!

I used to have a lot of drama in my life. Much of it was due to my own choices, some of it was due to bipolar disorder causing me to make stupid choices, such as when I get manic.

I have changed completely in the past few years. I’m no longer willing to make decisions and then just hope they turn out ok.

I get too sick when I do this. I have goals in life that I want to reach- speaking to large groups on mental health, reducing the suicide rate in this country, financial stability, physical health, a great romantic relationship- big stuff for sure!

The only way I can accomplish my goals is to examine every potential decision for disaster (drama!) from sending an angry email to saying yes to a request when I definitely need to say no. I’ve learned to ask myself the following [ Read More ]

Sunday night- finally feeling more stable….

I went to the wedding of an old flame of mine yesterday. Believe me- seeing someone get married is a wonderful thing- but it can be a rather depressing thing when you’re already depressed- and you’re seeing an ex look so happy! (Depression makes a person very selfish! )

My downswing from last Thursday has continued off and on. The secret is to keep doing exactly what you would do if you were NOT depressed. That is what keeps me going. I drove to Seattle from Portland- met a dear friend and went with her to the wedding. My mom came with me on the trip- so that was nice. And all the time- I was sad and depressed on the inside – and trying hard to be normal on the outside. I did a really good job which means that I actually did have a lot of good times on the trip!

It [ Read More ]

Just Out of the Hospital? Bipolar disorder and tiredness

I wrote earlier that I had a horrific downswing yesterday – it was awful! I woke up fine this morning. This is just further proof that this illness can be so random and chemical. If you or someone you care about has just come home from the hosptial- it’s important to remember that the body gets very, very worn out after bad episodes. Our bodies go through extreme physical shock during serious mood swings- especially with a full blown manic episode. It’s as though we have run a marathon- our bodies give out eventually.

I remember when my former partner Ivan was in the hospital. I went to see him every day- and he was just so tired a lot of the time. He was in restraints for over two months. If the staff took off the restraints he got very agitated. His strength was unbelieveable. He’s such a mild manered guy. All of this [ Read More ]

A thank you from Julie

I got very, very sick today. I would say the depression was a 9 out of 10. Hospital style depression. It’s now 9PM and I have it down to a 4. I worked hard for that 4! I did a lot today to take care of myself and will write more about that later.

Before I go to sleep and sleep off the rest of this terrible mood swing- I want to say thank you for the amazing comments of support I get from all of you. You know how it is when you get really sick- you just get so worn out. I cried off and on all day and I’m now physically tired….. bla! My mom and friends helped a lot- I am glad I was able to get on with my day as best I could. The odd thing is that there was no obvious trigger. It was what my coauthor [ Read More ]

Bipolar depression: it IS unfair!

I struggle with the word ‘unfair.’ Some of my friends suggest that I shouldn’t use the word as it’s pointless to all this illness unfair. Other say- oh yes Julie- use the word unfair because it is unfair that people with bipolar disorder and those who love us have to struggle so much!

I am going to use the word UNFAIR today! I was fine for three days. Normal- with normal thoughts and behaviors. Then I woke up with IT. Nothing changed in the past few days- but IT is here. Ok. I can hear what my brain is saying- what is the point of work? It’s just a bunch of writing and email and getting nowhere!

What is the point of anything really- you’re not very happy and your life is pretty boring.

I could go on! I am sure you can add plenty to this list.

I can’t and won’t listen. It’s [ Read More ]