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I’m in the middle of a very quick,exciting and completely up in the air book project. The publishing profession is very volatile,hit and miss,unsure,sometimes devastating and when it works,exhilarating and profitable. It’s hard to deal with bipolar disorder and work! The problem is that you literally can’t control how things will turn out. But you keep trying. In the normal process,I turn in my ideas to my agent- she then contacts specific editors she thinks are a good fit for the project. I currently have an idea for a relationship book that’s very exciting. An editor liked the idea and asked for a table of contents and a sample chapter- four days ago. I have been working on it pretty steadily and I can feel the effects: 1. Too wound up and excited to sleep 2. Alternatively hopeful and fearful- which leads to anxiety 3. Irritated- massively irritated from [ Read More ]  Working without the internet… not acutally working for Starbucks! I’ve found that going to Starbucks where there is no wireless is immensely helpful work wise- especially on the days when I’m depressed and unfocused. It’s amazing how the internet can keep a person from getting work done! I do my email and then send them from home. This helps a lot. It also keeps me from compulsively checking to see if someone has written. Nothing is so important that I have to check my email every few minutes! When I was on Facebook,it was awful. People write constantly and before you know it,you’re over there looking for friends. I won’t have a personal Facebook any time soon- and even if I did- I couldn’t check it at Starbucks! Julie
 You can survive this illness…… even when it feels impossible I’m just getting out of two days of hell. Absolute hell. I had simultaneous severe depression and relentless OCD thinking. I am finally better tonight. Here’s what I did: Dealt with work disappointment in a reasonable and realistic way. I am in a tough,tough business. There is more disappointment than success- that’s part of being in a media profession. This means I MUST be ready for the depression that comes with disappointment. Once I realized I was depressed- which was not hard since I know my signs completely- I then went into management mode. This is an illness. I used the tips in all of my books 24 hours a day. Literally- because if I wake up with obsessive thoughts,I have to take care of things so that I can get back to sleep! It’s hard. I got out of bed. It’s the [ Read More ] Parents of kids with bipolar disorder.. I often feel sorry for my mom. She has to deal with so much concerning this illness. I’m having a super tough day today and she knows it. I always tell her what I’m going through. I am very honest: “I’m sick today. The depression is really bad.” My mom has used the Health Cards for seven years- this means she knows what I need,but it doesn’t make it easy. She knows I am safe and that I know how to take care of myself. But it must just break her heart to see her child so sick. I’m lucky that she was willing and able to learn my system. It has saved our relationship – and my life! many times. I have options,as we all do- when I’m this depressed. On some days,I really do need to see friends and hang out. But friends aren’t [ Read More ] My goal when I’m down is to take action all day long to make things better. It’s hard. Where will I go? What project should I do first? Will anything work out? Why are things so hard? Etc Etc All good questions. I will go out and organize my day while I sit at a coffee shop. I will then choose a project and do it. Whether I am crying,filled with OCD thoughts or hopeless. None of it is real. Problems are real and they can be tackled and fixed. These thoughts are bipolar disorder and they need to be recognized and then ignored! I will make a list under this post about what I accomplished today –just to show myself that I can get a lot done when I’m depressed. Julie Here is the list: - Visited with my mom even though it was hard to be with people. - Wrote in [ Read More ] | |
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