I’ve had WAY to many mood swings in the last six weeks- i counted 23 on my daily mood swing chart. That’s too many. I’m examining what is going on in my life so that I can really stay focused on my bipolar disorder treatment plan. But it’s hard. Writing a blog seems like too much of an effort! But I know it’s not. It’s a lot more effort to not do something. I had a choice when I walked into my house- to worry about being to sick to look at my email and do a blog- or to do it and save the hours of worry I would have that I’m not working enough. Speaking of working, I haven’t been able to work very consistently for the past six weeks- but I keep going. It’s better than not working at all!
I feel better when I get things done. I’m off to see a friend for dinner. I will not focus on how sick I have been, but I will tell her about it. She’s a good listener and story teller, so I’ll let her set the mood of the evening.
I hope that you are doing ok and can get inspiration from this blog. There are so many great comments from readers that are really inspirational. We all experience the same symptoms with bipolar disorder because it’s an illness. Most of the time it’s not our lives that are the probem- it’s not us- it’s not anything personal. It’s an illness.
Julie
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I can relate – although I haven’t kept count of my mood swings, it has been pretty extreme too recently, and I battle terribly with maintaining my blog – it just seems too much effort to think about what to write.
And as for work, the less said the better.
Hi Christopher,
Now that I have managed this illness as successfully as i can over the past seven years- I have come to one big conclusion- without money security, it’s very hard for us to stay well- and since money security often comes from work, this can be quite a dilemma! Julie
I seem to always learn something new every week from your blog, Julie! I was hospitalized last weekend with severe anxiety, not even imagining it could be connected to bipolar disorder. I am now taking an anti-anxiety medication in addition to my BP meds and feel so much better; it takes off the edge. It’s called Buspirone HCL. That, plus seeing a psychologist who is helping me deal with anxiety, seems to be getting me through a very difficult phase.
I was also delightfully surprised by a phone call from the insurance company that manages the mental health portion of my medical insurance, Magellan. I was asked if I would be interested in a mental health coach, free of charge, to talk with every two weeks via phone. Of course I would! I spoke with a lovely RN named Laurie for about 45 minutes and she gave me an idea for having daily emotional goals. I’d not heard of that before, so I set a goal for myself and listed two methods to achieve that goal, not including the typical stuff (meds compliance, regular sleep/wake cycle, exercise, healthy eating). I added journaling and relaxation techniques to my list of mental wellness strategies. And I had my best day in about a month yesterday! Hurrah!
I do hope you’re feeling better today, Julie. Take care of yourself!
Sincerely,
Sandra
Hi Sandra, I am SO glad you’re doing better. All people with bipolar disorder have anxiety- it’s a normal part of the illness. Anxiety goes with depression in general. I split my separate symptoms into their own treatment plans- I know you have the Health Cards now- you will see how much this helps in managing the ilness. We don’t manage psychosis the same way we namange mania or anxiety, so why should we lump them in together and hope one medication will work!
Thanks for all of your writing – the readers love it as they get to see someone else out there who just keeps on going!
julie
It’s hard enough to deal with the mood swings, but when the anxiety kicks in it’s like driving 90 miles an hour with my hair on fire. I have to take an anti-anxiety medication before I crash and burn. I used to view this as a crutch and weakness, but now I see it as just another tool in the arsenal of getting well and surviving another day. And the cat likes me better, too.
it is an illness as you say, not a character flaw. lov your blog.
hi Danielle,
I have to remind myself of this costantly. I woke up doing a lot better this morning and all of the awful failure- you’re always going to be sick- thoughts are simply gone. Not only is it an illness- it’s a cruel illness! Julie
Hey Julie!
My mood is still up there. I find when my mood is like this I don’t seem to have a verbal filter. It’s hard for me not to focus on my illness when I talk to my friends. I don’t want to bore them but sometimes I can’t seem to get off the topic of Bipolar disorder and the past. How I get through work without shooting myself in the foot is probably only because I have my own office to take my face off in every so often. Even that doesn’t help sometimes and I worry that I’ve said too much to the wrong people. Any suggestions?
Hi Julie,
I am sorry if you are recieving this message for the second time. I would love to know if you got my first message. I do not usually follow Twitter or blogs so the best (and sometimes only) way to contact me is via the email. Let me know please, if you cannot see it somehow.
My writing is on it-takes-guts.com under Elizabeth,N.J.
This is Ken Jensen’s membership site who I have written you about.
This site is not very active as of now but is about to go public…
This is not an attempt to promote myself, Ken or the site…but rather an honest attempt to reach out…
I would love to know wether you recieved this message.
I admire and am inspired by your repeated and wonderful attempts to reach outwards…
Take care of yourself,
Elizabeth (OZ)