Bipolar Depression… Boo hoo for me…

I’m feeling sorry for myself today. The limitations I have on my life and the limitations I’ve had to put on my life because of bipolar disorder are hard. I want to be like my friends. I want to come home after something wonderful and not go into a downswing.

After I got home from a NAMI speech last night- you can read about it below- I did so well for the whole two days! Now the downswing is here. I always think it will skip me! Sometimes it does, so I can focus on that. How I know I’m in a down swing?

- I’m crying a bit.

- I’m thinking of an old friend who dumped me when he got married a lot more than I normally do

- I’m feeling sorry for myself

- My thoughts are a bit obsessive

- I feel lonely and that I will always be alone

- I feel some fear and anxiety

Bla, bla, bla. How do I know it’s depression? Because I wasn’t like this at all this past week. I was doing well! So, my eight day no depression streak is over, but that’s better than being depressed every day!

My treatment plan has taught me what to do- this is depression and I will keep going and it will be gone in a few hours if I work on getting better. I can do it!

Julie

  PS: I posted this the next day. I was out of the depression by the time I went to bed. It helped to see my brother for karaoke and to spend time with my mom and her wonderful puppy. I also got some work done. All of this helps.

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