This is my amazing nephew David. He’s six. I was pretty depressed yesterday. David came up to me and gave me a hug. I said, “Auntie Wee is sick today.” He said, “I know.”
Wow. That is pretty insightful. I said, “How did you know I was depressed?” He said, “Because you’re always depressed!” I had to laugh! I’m not depressed very often at all anymore, but when he was very young, I was depressed about 50% of the time.
I made a decision when he was born that I would be honest with him about bipolar disorder. When I had a tough day, I’d say, “Auntie Wee is crying because she has an illness called bipolar disorder. ” Then I would explain how the illness caused my depression, but that I was fine on the inside. There were days when I couldn’t play with him as I wanted to and he would say, “That’s ok. You can watch me play.”
I really believe we can be honest with kids about this illness. They understand. I never let it get in the way of how I interacted with him. He came first and he still comes first- I just know my limits. I used to get so upset with myself that I couldn’t find the energy to hang out with him on the floor or run around in the back yard- but he didn’t care! All he cared about is that I was there watching him and talking with him!
Now that my depression is so much better and he’s older, I teach him about mental illness and how it affects people- and I always do this in a practical, non scary way. By the time he’s 10 he will be an expert!
He knows about my treatment plan (the Health Cards) and he will eventually know how to use them himself.
Kids are smart- they know something is going on!
Julie
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Hello, Julie! I´ve been thinking of a way to begin my letter since the morning! It´s now 7pm and I just couldn´t have it done!
Is there a tendency in BP person consisting of making things seem more complicated than they really are ???
Well, I´m a woman, 25 years-old. I´m currently living in Europe (I´m sorry for my mistakes, English is not my mother tongue!). I wanted to try to living abroad for some time, expecting I would feel “better” and far from my emotional crisis, once I would have my mind busy with a totally new reality around me. It reminds very much what you described about traveling abroad every time things seemed to get worse. I thought the reasons that used to cause me down would stay in my homecountry and, instead, although making true my dream of living abroad, I don´t know anymore how many times I called my Mom crying to tell her “I don´t know, Mom! I just woke up this morning this way!” After some time living with the family that guests me, I was being told exactly what I was used to be told in my country “the problem is your mood! If you wanna stay here you´ll have to change your mood!”.
I was still thinking of the problem as something related to my personality. “Yes, yes, I am guilty! But I just don´t understand why, even making my dream of living abroad true, I don´t feel happy!!!”. I finally told my Mom, “Mom, I am NOT well. There´s SOMETHING wrong!”.
The people I started trying to make friendship with sometimes notice my mood and I try some story about missing home and relatives, but it´s not that. I thought to myself “oh, well, it´s because I´m feeling alone in another country, only that! As soon as I have made friends this will disappear!”. “Oh, well, why is that even in their company I still feel like crying? What´s that ?”
I have been visiting your page since last Sunday. Last weekend I went through an episode that led me to read about bipolar disorder, recommended by an eldest sister, whose husband has a son with the illness. After crying again “without reason” on Sunday morning I decided to tell my sister the main symptoms I have going through since I was 13 years old: crying “without reason”, difficult of relationship with relatives and friends which led me most of the time to spend my free time (including weekends and holidays) isolated, answering rudely without reason, not going out “to enjoy life”.
At first, these symptoms and reactions were believed to be something typical from the teenages and thus I was always being said how bad person I were because of my constant difficult-to-deal mood. I started to blame myself for being “so bad”. All my relatives were losing patience with me.
I saw myself in many many of what you wrote in your page.
Although having great expectations in a career (I simply love to learn languages and work hard on it!), it took me around 6 years to graduate, instead of 4.
I don´t know why, but it seems to me that I was always making it difficult to graduate, always making it more complicated than it really was. I have never worked in the career I chosed. Instead of thinking work as a great challenge and opportunity, I was always putting off a situation that scared me. I´m telling this because of what I read about the experience in your own life.
The main symptom that characterized my adolescence was depression, low self-esteem, isolation. The main symptom in my life now are what I called fixed ideas. Although I am not feeling sad today, I am anxious because I think about death most of the time.
I don´t mean suicide. The images in my mind are those of my loved ones seriously sick or being buried. The images cause me extremous anxiety because I can´t help thinking what I am going to do in such situation. I often imagine myself alone, losing my relatives and friends to death. This is a fixed idea, day and night, so I rarely feel myself relaxed. Is such idea common in BP person ?
Julie, since I started reading your page I feel hopeful and I realized that what is wrong is something bigger than just my personality.
That feels great because I was always blaming myself and being blamed by others.
I still don´t know whether my problem is called BP or not, but I really feel better for knowing that there are other people sharing the same symptoms I feel.
P.S: It´s ok if this letter won´t be published online. I just wanted to open my heart to you, as I found so many similarities in our stories.
Thank you, I.K.G.