You can survive this illness…… even when it feels impossible
I’m just getting out of two days of hell. Absolute hell. I had simultaneous severe depression and relentless OCD thinking. I am finally better tonight. Here’s what I did:
- Dealt with work disappointment in a reasonable and realistic way. I am in a tough, tough business. There is more disappointment than success- that’s part of being in a media profession. This means I MUST be ready for the depression that comes with disappointment.
- Once I realized I was depressed- which was not hard since I know my signs completely- I then went into management mode. This is an illness. I used the tips in all of my books 24 hours a day. Literally- because if I wake up with obsessive thoughts, I have to take care of things so that I can get back to sleep! It’s hard.
- I got out of bed. It’s the only way to lead a normal life. No matter what. No matter how depressed you are- you must always get out of bed as the first step.
- I told people I was not doing well. I have taught them how to help.
- I did as much work as possible- just sitting down and doing SOMETHING made a big difference. I worked quite a bit today and I’m glad I did.
- I kept going, even when I was crying. There are good things in the world and when I keep going, I have much more chance of putting myself in a position to experience the good things.
And I’m now better. I can go to sleep feeling ok. It’s over and I’m so relieved.
Of course, I have all of the tips in my books memorized- but I still have to make myself use them. That’s the key.
We can all make it through the hell caused by this illness.
Julie
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Hope you got some rest and are feeling better today. You are a success and an angel to many, providing hope, assistance, a way….. Sorry for your work disappointment…. C
My boyfriend and I ordered your cards, etc. a while ago, but I haven’t been using them. I don’t even know where they are. I’ve had so many diagnosis’, they don’t even know if I’m bi-polar. What I do know is that whatever I have seems to be getting worse as I get older and I am so sick, literally, of living like this!! The only reason I am still alive is because of my precious 8 year old little girl. I’ve worked all my life, but haven’t since July due to my “issues” and I am so afraid to go back to work because I don’t know how I am going to wake up feeling day to day! One day I’m “ok”, the next day, I’m depressed! I just moved to Duluth, MN, which feels like the end of the world, with my boyfriend and have been having a really hard time adjusting to the changes that come along with moving. I feel like I’m in a dream and all these new people I am meeting are just a part of my dream and I am going to wake up and be back in Green Bay, WI with my real friends. Weird, I know… I am going to become a Beijo Purse Rep. and do in-home parties selling them. Part of me is excited because I used to sell Partylite candles and did really good, but part of me is worrying about having a depressive day and not wanting or not able to make it to a pary I have booked. On the other hand, if I continue to be un-employed and stay at home, all I do is lay on the couch, sleep, watch t.v. and become even more depressed. I don’t expect you’ll even read this since or comment back since your so busy, but atleast I feel a little better getting this out. I’m just going to have to start reading your cards and your website to help myself. I just wish I was normal. Ya know? Like, no mood swings. UGH!
Hi Jessica,
I love your post. It’s so honest – and it sounds just like myself and the rest of us with this rotten illness! I can tell that you have the knowledge to see your symptoms- and that you are getting out there and doing what you can. The purse idea sounds great to me! Remember, you don’t have to feel like working- at all- to do a great job. You CAN work when you’re depressed- my book get it done when you’re depressed talks about this on every page! The next time you feel you aren’t doing enough- just keep going because I bet you are doing the best you can. Julie
Dear Julie and Jessica,
This is the first time I feel compelled to comment. I could never make plans in volunteering or even make a date plan for the weekend because I never knew whether I was going to be “in the mood” to show up when that day comes. I used to feel so bad about this “personality trait” and wish I could change it and not be so “spontaneous” where I can stick to my dates/plans but almost always failed. I work for myself as a massage therapist and skincare therapist. Many times when clients book appts with me by the time it’s my appt I sometimes just fled the house or sometimes I would call them and let them know that “I couldn’t make the appt.” There wasn’t anything physically wrong that I felt I had to “fled” or more appropriately “flake” from my clients, but I guess it is, because there is something “physically” very wrong with my brain that affects my moods and emotions which affect my actions and judgements.
I bought all 3 of your books on Amazon and I’m reading take charge of bipolar the 4 step plan and I find it really helpful. I also purchased your health cards a couple of years ago…not once, but twice (the pdf format downloaded from the internet) but now I STILL can’t find it on my computer. In fact, I have a hard time finding ANY and ALL of my stuff. Guess this is a symptom of having this disorder because I just read in another blog just now there was another reader who said she bought your health card systems with her boyfriend but has not used it yet and couldn’t find where it is either.
Now I know when I don’t feel like doing the things that need to be done it’s because my brain is “playing tricks on me” and I can take a deep breath and just go out and do it anyway even though I might feel so overwhelmed and scared and anxious. Sometimes when I feel REAL anxious like I was going to lose my mind then I just sleep or drive to the beach to be by myself so I don’t start yelling at everybody that come closed to me….
Thank you so much for having this blog and letting us leave comments and feedback! Sometimes I feel SO ALONE because I don’t have friends who have the same disorder and my family is not around. I try to educate my family about this disorder.
Julie,I really hope you will go around the country and get on every radio or tv shows as you can to raise awareness in this world about this disorder! I need to be known and understood….