I didn’t feel up to working today, but I’m so glad I did. I would say my depression was reduced by half just by doing my work. It was weighting on me that I haven’t worked enough this week. No matter how sick I am, I can still sit down and work.
It’s a lot easier when I’m manic- but then I don’t want to work- I just want to party and have a good time.
What a confusing illness- work is an expression of who we are and what we want in life- it makes us money and gives us a purpose. It supports families and can even make us famous. And bipolar can take it all away in just a few hours depending on what mood swing shows up.
We all need a plan for those days so that we can and will sit down no matter what!
I always remind myself that opening my computer is often all it takes to finish a project- I just have to nudge my brain in the right direction when it can’t nudge itself!
If that makes sense. 
Julie
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I cant sit still at all when i am manic. Like you said i just want to have fun! and party! its hard for me to concentrate when bipolar kicks in and i have the lows, very hard.
The weekly paycheck is one of my motivators!! I would like to think I have a higher purpose, but when it comes down to it a paycheck helps.
Love your blog!!
I have many days when I don’t think that I can get up and go to work. I probably average 4 days a week, instead of 5 like most people. I haven’t told me boss my problem, because I think it might hurt my chances of getting a promotion. But I think I have hurt my chances anyway, by not coming to work consistently.
It is often a confusing illness! I had one day of pretty strong hypomania this week. I was trying to work, but when I clicked the wrong button too fast, I realized that I was better off not working right then…
I hope that you are doing alright. I miss your daily posts! I’ve been thinking of writing a blog or more Squidoo lenses…. But with my moods, I only really feel like writing sometimes. I think if I am going to have a regular blog I will have to write some posts ahead of time, so that I have them ready to post even if I’m not feeling good.
I saw the best documentary on Bipolar Disorder lately. It’s call “Stephen Fry: The Secret Life of a Manic Depressive” It’s on YouTube, broken up into 10 minute segments, but easily viewable – the entire thing is there, part 1 through part 12. It’s really, really good – not at all condescending or instructive – but very insightful. It really helps knowing that so many people deal with this illness – even many successful people!
Best regards,
HB
I have been have episodes where I experience mania, wanting to buy stuff limited need to sleep and the inability to concentrate, focus finish an assigned task. This is a real problem at work as I work at a law firm and my hours are billable. I seem to have the episodes the week before and during my menstrual cycle. Do you know hormonal changes can effect my bi polar cycle/episodes? This is a real problem and I have so much anxiety because my Manager has approached me about my job performance and has sad some threatening thing to me regarding my position. I am so anxious and afraid it has a negative effect on my performance, which does not help the situation at all.
Hi! I answered your question on the blog itself. Thanks for writing! Julie