I had a wonderful weekend at a writer’s conference. Because of this, I knew I had to be prepared for a downswing. It was inevitable. Bipolar disorder doesn’t care if I had a good time – it just noticed that things were different and that I was in an exciting environment.
I woke up slightly down and thought- oh well, I can get through this. Then I felt better! But it didn’t last. Within a few hours the bad thoughts started. First: I wish I were dead. And then: You’re Pathetic!
I always hear the ‘you’re pathetic’ voice when I get stressed. The ‘I wish I were dead’ is an old friend as well. One gets used to them.
That doesn’t make it easy, but at least I know my enemy. The weekend was amazing as it was the first time I was able to go to a conference and not get sick during the conference! I had hardly any paranoia! This is wonderful.
The conference reminded me that I’ve gotten so much better over the past few years. I’m grateful.
Julie
Related posts: Bipolar disorder: My High Risk Situations | Bipolar and Political Stress | Ask Julie: Bipolar Anger and Irritation |
