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    bipolar mood swings and the beauty of a rose

    Bipolar is so very weird. When I’m depressed I can look at this rose and see nothing of beauty. I’ve also had experiences where the beauty of something is painful because I feel so left out.

    With mania, the rose is too beautiful. I could look into it forever – which is not exactly true as when I’m manic I don’t do anything for very long. My attention would be grabbed by something even more beautiful.

    When my ex partner Ivan was really psychotic and in the hospital- I took him a rose- it had a lot of symbolic meaning to him- it was blood red- it caused pain- etc.

    Well, it’s pretty obvious that a rose isn’t just a rose is a rose…. ;)

    Today I want to just look at the rose for what it is. A beautiful flower.  I live in Portland, Oregon- also known as the rose city. The roses here are stunning.  My goal is to have a normal, stable and appreciative day. ( I can do it!)

     Julie

    Related posts:   Bipolar Mood Swings are so ridiculous.. |  Bipolar Depression just keeps on coming back….. |  What is a vacation? |





    2 comments to bipolar mood swings and the beauty of a rose

    • Danielle
      June 11, 2009 at 4:44 pm · Reply to this comment

      Have a beautiful day!!! i love roses, pink roses!

    • mindy
      June 13, 2009 at 5:16 am · Reply to this comment

      Dear Julie,

      Thank you for writing ‘getting it done with you’re depressed’. I am a bipolar , 22, year old female .

      Reading your book gave me great confidence and consolation that someone understood exactly how i felt. I teared up reading the first few chapters, because I felt I was no longer alone.

      I have always felt so misunderstood and confused. This book made me examine my manic depression in a different lens. Thank you for your honesty and passing your experience on to others. Bless you.

      Hi Mindy,

      Thanks for your kind words. I had the same experience when I finally realized that there is absolutly wrong with me- I have an illness that makes me different- once I learned to separate that part of me from the non ill me, I changed forever. Now I’m ready for the terrible down swings and am able to keep going until they are done!

      Things can definitely get better- the mood swings can get a lot shorter. When you learn to avoid the things and people who cause mood swings in your life- things can get a LOT better.

      Julie

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