The following is a blog post from two years ago. Now that my depression is better, I’m looking back on life to see where I came from. I was depressed for 30 years off and on. I have a plan that works now. It IS possible to get better. Julie
Will This Depression Ever End and Can Anyone Help Me?
When I’m seriously depressed every single minute feels like I’m living in hell and I am just closer and closer to death.
I sometimes get so depressed that I can’t move my head or have a conversation. I still make myself get out and do things. I cry and I feel I can’t go on, but I do. I feel better for having done something. Every minute when I’m well is filled with possibility because I can choose what to feel and what to do. People take this for granted. They take for granted that they can decide not to be mad about something or not to let others bother them.
Bipolar disorder is not about fixing problems. I can fix my problems. I have a choice with that. The main problem I have is that I can’t always fix bipolar disorder. I can manage it, but I can’t fix something that is so broken. I feel this will last forever and that nothing will change for the future. I will be alone and old and have no purpose. What is the point of my life?
** Back to the present!
Over one year ago, I found medical help that I now use along with my existing management skills.
I HAVE BEEN ALMOST DEPRESSION FREE FOR OVER TWO YEARS.
Never give up. Keep trying new meds- new methods- reread my books- get help, but never give up.