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    A Thought for the Day

    Just because one things goes ‘wrong’ it doesn’t mean that all things are going wrong!

    Bipolar is a tricky task master- it says- oh, something just caused you some trouble? That’s because it has always caused you trouble and it will always cause you trouble in the future. Things will always go wrong for you!

    In truth, all and I mean all situations are separate experiences. What lead to the moment and what comes after the moment are separate as well. Don’t judge one moment in time against all of your life.

     We can get through anything- especially the little things that bipolar disorder tells us are so important.

    Most events are not that important. They come and go.  Things go wrong and we move on. What matters is that we don’t connect these events to other events to create a stream of WRONGNESS!

    It’s just one event at at time. Julie

    This is a note [ Read More ]





    Posted on July 14th, 2009 | Tags: , | Category: About Julie, Bipolar Treatment Tips

    Depressing media coverage of our ‘economic’ situation

    My media fast

    I decided to go on a media fast a few months ago. All of the depressing news about our world economy was not helping the reality of my own economic situation! So I turned off all news. I stopped listening to NPR, reading Yahoo headlines, looking at newspapers and reading business magazines. It has now been over three months. I am such a differnt person. i don’t wake up at 4AM in a panic. I don’t feel like I’m missing much- I can listen to a download of a show if needed. I am worried about the world, but I can only help the world if I’m well. 

    It has helped immensely. And I still manage to know what is going on in the world as my friends are very informed.

    I will do whatever it takes to stay stable so that I can work and make my own money. I don’t [ Read More ]





    Posted on June 17th, 2009 | Tags: , | Category: About Julie

    A good night….

    I’m well tonight!

    Normally I would write that sentence: I’m not sick tonight! but I’m going to be positive this evening.

    It always amazes me how normal it is to be normal. I sort of just do things without thinking about them. When the bipolar disorder is going strong- which is about 85% of the time (I chart my moods so that % is pretty accurate!) I often have to struggle and grasp and gasp to keep going. But when I’m well like I am tonight, things are just so much more simple.  I can be alone with ease. I make dinner. I read and write my blog. I can DO things. Do you think anyone can understand what I mean unless they have bipolar? I don’t think so! People take the normal stuff for granted. Getting up without thinking your life is pointless is how most people live. I’d like to be most people- [ Read More ]





    Posted on June 15th, 2009 | Tags: , | Category: About Julie

    bipolar mood swings and the beauty of a rose

    Bipolar is so very weird. When I’m depressed I can look at this rose and see nothing of beauty. I’ve also had experiences where the beauty of something is painful because I feel so left out.

    With mania, the rose is too beautiful. I could look into it forever – which is not exactly true as when I’m manic I don’t do anything for very long. My attention would be grabbed by something even more beautiful.

    When my ex partner Ivan was really psychotic and in the hospital- I took him a rose- it had a lot of symbolic meaning to him- it was blood red- it caused pain- etc.

    Well, it’s pretty obvious that a rose isn’t just a rose is a rose…. ;)

    Today I want to just look at the rose for what it is. A beautiful flower.  I live in Portland, Oregon- also known as the [ Read More ]





    Bipolar Disorder Rapid Cycling: Feeling better.. a lot better

    This blog is a chronical of my severe rapid cycling- it helps me to write it and I’m glad it helps others. Two nights ago I was worn out and despondent and then I sat up and said to myself, “Enough of this. No matter what, you can still function. Just get going Julie. Deal with what is going on with your economic status and do what you can!” I felt better the next day and I feel even better today. I have to face facts head on- my life changed with the economy as it did for many, many people. Yes, it has caused great stress – which always leads to mood swings. But I have to deal with it.

    My mom helped a lot in the months I couldn’t get the mood swings to stop. I managed to do all of the social things I usually do and that helped. Isn’t it odd [ Read More ]





    Posted on June 8th, 2009 | Tags: , , , , | Category: About Julie

    A Wonderful Weekend Retreat

    Well, isn’t it nice to read that I had a great weekend! It was great to experience it, believe me. This past few months have been such a challenge (euphemism!), so feeling better is wonderful. And no, I’m not manic. (Thank goodness.)

    I went to an interfaith retreat for people with disabilities who work with people who have disabilities! – brain disorders and physical disabilities. Yes, some people have trouble with the word disability, but I believe it’s an honest word that honors the struggles those of us who are not able to work, run, talk, etc go through. Does that make sense? It was a joyful experience of shared stories and a lot of learning.

    I will post some pictures because it was a happy time. So yes, even if you have chronic, relentless and debhiliting depression, the episode can end and things can get better.

    And now [ Read More ]





    Posted on June 1st, 2009 | Tags: , , | Category: About Julie
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