Instead of focusing on what you did wrong, focus on what you learned!

Many mistakes are made because of bipolar disorder, but once you learn to manage the illness more successfully, the mistakes are less serious and the behavior caused by the illness can be modified and ultimately ended.

Wow, that is a long sentence, but I’ve found it to be true. I’ve working on managing this illness for almost 15 years. I am very stable these days, despite pretty persistent mood swings. 

I encourage you to work on a mangement plan every day- and then life gets easier. I don’t think it will take you 15 years- there are a lot moer resources than there were in 1995!

Today can be a good day.

Julie

My friend Marian just said,

“The mind is a wonderful servant and a terrible master.”

I think that those of us affected by bipolar disorder can all agree with that!

julie

Think Like an Athlete

I like to talk with people who have achieved excellence in the sporting world. Their dedication and perseverance are similar to what it takes to manage bipolar disorder successfully.

Here is a great quote:

You can neither win or lose if you don’t get into the game.

How true. I often get scared and stressed when I approach a new book deal. There is always the chance of a no- but there is always the chance of a yes- so I stay in the game. I always get sick bipolar wise when I write books with strict deadlines- I often feel I can’t go on. But I do and I’m glad I stick it out. When I do interviews for my book Get it Done When You’re Depressed, the interviewers inevitably ask me about my Think Like an Athlete tip. Athletes keep going no matter what- and we can too. If you’ve never tried it, a batting cage or driving range are a lot of fun and a great way to get out of a depression.

I have been thinking lately that it would be fun to go to a driving range and see if I can still hit a ball. Maybe there is a golf pro out there who would like to give me some tips!

Julie

oh yes, another long post from julie!  

Plans Can Change: We Can Deal with It.

I am very proud of myself…

It’s good to write that sentence! Going out on the weekends if very important to me. I plan carefully and always have something to do with friends. I really enjoy going out with my brother Ed. As many of you know, my brother is a great guy who causes me a lot of stress. I think I’ve dealt with it very well over the past year. Last night, there was a problem with his ID so he was not able to come into the bar where I was waiting. We were going to watch the UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship) on pay per view- so I got there early to get us seats. I always do that to save myself the stress of worrying where we will sit!

I walked outside and he said that he couldn’t get in- I said, “Did you ask the bouncer?” He sarcastically said, “Of course I did!” So I turned around and went back inside to get my purse so that we could go to karaoke. My whole point of the evening was to be with him, so missing the UFC was not a big deal to me.

When I got back outside. He was gone. I looked for him up and down the street. I couldn’t imagine where he had gone. It was odd! Then I called him on his phone and he said, “I could tell you were disgusted with me by the expression on your face, so I left.”

Holy you know what! I have never had someone do that. Ever.  Even with a person you’re dating they will at least say- “I’m leaving!” He just left. Of course I know this has nothing to do with me. I am not someone to get angry and walk off and stay in a club and leave my brother outside. I really was just going to get my purse.
Then I felt the wave of depression drop over me. I thought, “He has done it again. Why do I let him upset me? Why does he always do this? What am I going to do now?”  And the bipolar started talking to me. You probably know what it says! And I started to cry a bit. That was a really rotten thing he did!

I had options- to go watch a basketball game with a friend- to go to karaoke, etc. But it all felt so depressing as I had the evening planned.

People with bipolar need a LOT of structure. I have worked for many years on how to handle each situation- even when my plans turn upside down. So, I said to myself, “Julie, this is no big deal. Go back inside and stay there and let Ed be who he is. You are fine.” And that is what I did and I had a wonderful time! Just wonderful! I met people and actually got over some of my social awkwardness!

This would not have been possible in the past. I have learned to fight off the bipolar monster and it has changed my life for the better.

Believe it or not, for the first time that I can EVER remember, my brother came up to me today and said, “I would like to apologize for leaving last night. I think I was just projecting my mood on you. I know you would not walk back into the club and just leave me.”

Wow! All of us can change! And when the depression started today-  I just kept going and I feel fine again.

We can do it. No matter where you are starting from- if you make a plan now to get better, you can.

Julie

There are always good things that happen over the weekend- seeing friends, some sun- reading books with my nephew. I try to focus on the good things first.

But man oh man, the depression was terrible. This word comes to mind: relentless!

It was relentless. But here I am on a Monday ready to face the world again. I made sure I had a lot of plans this week. The publishing world- which is a large part of my business these days is changing and not in a good way. I have to rethink my goals for this year. This is definitely possible, but it puts added pressure on my health. So, the only way to deal with this is to work- plan and remain positive. Change is an opportunity for a new and better direction. I truly believe that getting things done is the answer.

If you have lost a job- are worried about money or feel that things will not get better, I suggest the book Think and Go Rich. It was written right after the Great Depression- and it’s truly fascinating to read. I feel so much better when I read it! We can all make it through tough time. How are you doing? Do you have fun and productive activities scheduled for this week? Is there something you have been meaning to do such as joining Toastmasters or taking a dance class? Now is the time to do what we have always wanted to do.

We can march onward- even when we are depressed!

Julie

PS: Watch out for mania! That is my motto.

Healthy, Wealthy and Wise

I wonder what it would be like if everyone in the world worked at being healthy, wealthy and wise! I know what it would look like for me.

Healthy: Lose weight slowly and keep it off forever! Stop chewing ice! Work on my posture- ( as I wrote this I noticed I was totally bent over my computer!) Avoid situations that cause mood swings. Get plenty of sleep.  (As I reread this I noticed I was bent over my computer!)

Wealthy: Stop behaviors that create debt. Use cash. Think before I spend. Remember that there is PLENTY of money in the world. Help others. Save my money for a rainy day. Never let the government affect my money situation. Read wealth creating books.

Wise: Listen as much as I talk! Admit that I’m human when I’m cruel, mean or petty. Remind myself that ‘it’s an illness!” Lose weight, use cash, stop chewing ice. Say, “I’m sorry” and mean it.

What a great exercise. This comes from the rhyme:

Early to Bed, Early to Rise
Makes a Person Healthy, Wealthy and Wise.

I would add that a relentlessly positive attitude helps in all of these areas. I’ve certainly experienced a lot of setbacks in all of them due to this illness. That is really the main challenge. I’d be interested to see your healthy, wealthy and wise list!

Julie