Well, these are actually tips to trick depression!

Go about your day even when the depression is lurking at your back and knocking at your door. It may feel like you can’t get out and get things done, but you can. Your legs still work- and you are still you.

Watch There is Something About Mary or Bowfinger.

Find the Success Baby picture on this blog.

Remind yourself over and over again that depression feels the same every single time- no matter when the situation. This means it’s an illness and not you.

Eat some hot sundubo Korean soup. I am not joking here- very hot chilies release endorphins.  You can also eat hot Thai food.

Julie

How does depression find all of the bad and or depressing memories in our brain and then replay them over and over again. Where are the positive memories and how does depression skip them? Does this mean that negative memories are stored in a certain part of the brain that depression can access- or does it mean that we have negative and positive neurotransmitters – and the negative neurotransmitters are the ones triggered? Maybe serotonin goes both ways!Maybe depression blocks out the chemicals in our brains that produce positive thoughts?I have endless questions about depression. It’s the same with mania. Where does a thought and feeling such as, “I’m a genius, ” come from?Why is it so easy to write depressing music when we’re depressed?Fascinating stuff. I have to approach depression with a spirit of fascination and discovery- because that is the only way we will find answers to these very complex questions.What do you think about when you think about bipolar depression? The PET scans below tell us something, but what? The more we know, the better the medications!  And eventually, we may be able to control these brain changes on our own!Julie

I have said this to myself many times in the past 15 years since being diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Just a few weeks ago I dealt with a lot of suicidal thoughts- even when I was crying and scared, I said, “Julie, it’s bipolar disorder. It’s going to be ok.”When I wake up depressed and think, “Oh no, not another day of depression!” I say to myself, “Get up Julie. Make it a day that isn’t ruled by depression. Then it will be ok.”Oh man. I get tired of this illness, but it’s treatable. I woke up slightly depressed this morning. I then made myself focus on what was going well in my life and the depression didn’t feel so overwhleming. Once I got up and got going, the day looked more positive. It’s getting up that makes the difference.If you’re sick today- it’s going to be ok. If you were super sick and just got out of the hospital it’s going to be ok. And if you just went through a summer mania where you did some really stupid things- you can get through that as well. I got through a three month long hypomania on a Navy Base in Yokosuka, Japan in 1987. There was a lot of partying going on and then a lot of depression when I got back to the states. I wasn’t diganosed until 1995. Oh how I wish I had been diagnosed then! I had my first mania episode at 17 and my first suicidal depression at 19. I’m 45 now and I’m ok!Julie

The following is an excerpt from an article I wrote for healthyplace.com on the difference between bipolar depression and uni polar depression.  I wonder how well you can do! A lot of it was new to me as I wrote the article!
A Quiz:  Name that Depression

The following examples will help you (or someone who cares about a person with depression) get really clear on the depression you experience. This can lead to the right treatment plan.

1. Have you ever been depressed and thought, “What is going on? I felt fantastic just last month! I had so much energy and life was great. I don’t understand this. Nothing happened? What’s wrong with me? Who am I?” and then you feel fine again a few months later.  (BP Depression with rapid cycling between mania and depression.)

2. You went through a job loss and got depressed for the first time and then the depression went away when you got another job. (Situational Depression.)

3. You were depressed, took an antidepressant and then suddenly things got better. You felt your head clear and even your vision got razor sharp where colors were gorgeous and people looked beautiful. Life was full of hope and you couldn’t wait to make plans for the future. If someone said you seemed abnormally upbeat, you said, “I finally found a medication that worked and now you want me to go back to being depressed?”  (Antidepressant induced mania.)

4. After a down mood for over a year you went through months of feeling great where you partied a lot, made friends easily, worked effortlessly and had a lot of ideas. The good mood raised a lot of confusion in your friends and family, but not enough to see it as an illness. You thought, “This is the real me!  The depression is finally gone!” (A manic episode after a long BP Depression.)

4. Felt depressed and uncomfortable with agitation, trouble sleeping and the fear that someone was following you. Your thoughts were racing and your patience was low. You felt a lot of suspicion, heard voices and yet you had a lot of energy. You sometimes had suicidal thoughts. (Mixed episode with depression, mania and psychosis.)

6. People commented on your down mood and seemed confused as to why you were always depressed when you had so much to live for. You had trouble getting out of bed, had no enthusiasm for life, cried a lot and felt hopeless. Your work and relationships suffered. You had either been like this for months or had a low level depression for years. You found an antidepressant that worked and have not experienced depression again.  (Unipolar depression)

7. You’re depressed and have tried five antidepressants. They don’t help at all and you feel more and more despondent. Your health care professional says, “I have no idea why these meds aren’t working. There is a drug called Lamictal that works with depression, let’s see if that will help.” You take the Lamictal and feel better. The doctor asks, “Have you ever had a mood where you were filled with energy and didn’t sleep much but were not tired at all the next day?”  This question finally leads to a discussion about bipolar disorder and you both realize the medications didn’t work because you have BP Depression and have had mild mania for years without knowing what it was. Eventually the illness was stabilized with Lamictal and an antipsychotic. And you can truthfully say, “I finally feel like the real me.” (BP Depression)

What above situation describes you (or the person you care about)? Is treatment correct and adequate? The answer to these questions can help you take charge of your BP Depression so that you can get an official diagnosis, find the right combination of medications and create a treatment plan that is BP Depression specific. It may be scary, overwhelming and confusing to realize you have Bipolar Depression, but the diagnosis is a life saver. It makes sense to spend a few years finding the right treatment plan than experiencing a lifetime of depression. The results can lead to a stable life that is filled with great relationships, productive work, a true sense of purpose and joy.

Julie

This is an excerpt from my article on the difference between uni polar depression and bipolar depression published on healthyplace.com. The article is available in full on the menu to your right.

Oh man am I sick today.. depression has me in it’s tentacles!

- It’s hard to get on with life, but you usually have to.
- It’s hard to have conversations because you’re stuck in your own gloom, but you still have to talk to people.
- It’s hard to get out of your bipolar fog and work, but you have to sit down and at least get started.
- It’s hard to feel any hope, but you have to remind yourself that there is always hope because this is at treatable illness and it won’t always be like this.

Can you tell that this is what I’m saying to myself today? I have been sick for months off and on- lots of depression and rapid cycling between feeling pretty normal and then going way down. I haven’t had much hypomania- which is a bit odd as it is finally sunny here (off and on!) in Portland, Oregon.
This is a serious illness that has to be managed with a serious treatment plan. At least it’s that way for me. Many people with bipolar disorder take medications with great success- they are able to go back to work and have a balanced life- I wish that were me! But it never has been- so my goal is to manage this illness at 100% my best even when I’m super sick.

I made it to my office today- I cleaned my house- I made fresh SALSA for a birthday party tonight. I am going to see my nephew this afternoon. I am going to be fine. Crying is ok- it makes sense I would cry when I’m sick. I have people who love me and have a great treatment plan that has never let me down!

Onward!

**
Here is the salsa recipe:

Boil eight tomatoes with the skin on. (Take out the core before cooking, but you don’t have to cut them up)
Cook one jalapeno with the tomatoes. This gives flavor, but doesn’t make it too hot.
You don’t need to add any water to the tomatoes- they have tons of water in them. Just cook until they are medium soft.
Add tomatoes to a blender or Cuisinart and pulse until  chunky.
Cool.
Add as many fresh jalapenos as desired- seeds and all. Three makes a very  hot salsa. If you don’t like hot salsa, just leave them out.
Add three cloves of fresh garlic and a big handful of fresh cilantro.
Pulse together and keep adding more cilantro and or garlic salt you get the desired taste.  Finish it off with plenty of salt to taste.

Wow, it’s good.

Who ever thought you would get a salsa recipe on a bipolar blog! I feel better just writing about it.

Julie

I went to the wedding of an old flame of mine yesterday. Believe me- seeing someone get married is a wonderful thing- but it can be a rather depressing thing when you’re already depressed- and you’re seeing an ex look so happy! (Depression makes a person very selfish! )

My downswing from last Thursday has continued off and on. The secret is to keep doing exactly what you would do if you were NOT depressed. That is what keeps me going. I drove to Seattle from Portland- met a dear friend and went with her to the wedding. My mom came with me on the trip- so that was nice. And all the time- I was sad and depressed on the inside – and trying hard to be normal on the outside. I did a really good job which means that I actually did have a lot of good times on the trip!

 It is possible to over ride depression and have a good time for at least a few hours. When it comes back- you have to remind yourself it’s an illness.  There is a kind of sadness that you feel when someone you love moves on- and then there is depression – they are very different. Sadness is real- it has a cause- it has feelings related to the situation- it’s normal.

Depression is unrealistic- it blows the situation out of proportion- it lies! I can deal with sadness and examine my feelings as they are real-   but I must always say no to depression.

 It’s Sunday night and I feel the best I have felt since getting so sick on Thursday. It’s possible to deal with depression – it just takes time and a plan. I plan to have a good day tomorrow.

I hope that your mood swings are in control- and I hope that if you love someone with this illness – you can learn from my story that it’s very treatable!

Julie

I got very, very sick today. I would say the depression was a 9 out of 10. Hospital style depression. It’s now 9PM and I have it down to a 4. I worked hard for that 4! I did a lot today to take care of myself and will write more about that later.

Before I go to sleep and sleep off the rest of this terrible mood swing- I want to say thank you for the amazing comments of support I get from all of you. You know how it is when you get really sick- you just get so worn out. I cried off and on all day and I’m now physically tired….. bla! My mom and friends helped a lot- I am glad I was able to get on with my day as best I could. The odd thing is that there was no obvious trigger. It was what my coauthor John calls a rogue wave downswing.

I got home and saw the comments on the blog- and just felt so much better. This is not an illness that does well in isolation or with silence. We deifnitely need to talk with each other and those who care about it!

It just hit me out of nowhere today! I am glad the day is almost done and I can have a wonderful day tomorrow. I did manage to do fun things today and that helped a lot.

So, once again. Thank you so very much for your kind comments! Julie