Bipolar Depression- Hello darkness my old friend….

I was very depressed a few days ago and the only way I can decribe it is Debilitating Depression

I would certainly never call darkness a friend, but the Simon and Garfunkel song gets the mood right.

The depression was so bad I could hardly hold my head up.  When I get depressed like this, I sit in a chair and put my head in my hands. A cacophony of terrible thoughts, sounds (often songs) and an unbelievable feeling of DOOM crawl in to every cell in my body.

This is the kind of depression that keeps people in bed for months.

But… I knew what it was and started to fight and fight and fight and told myself- you will get out of this Julie. You will start now.

Here is what I did:

1.  Forced the real me to talk to the depressed me. 

Julie. Get up. This is bipolar.  Don’t forget that. [ Read More ]





Bipolar Depression Tips: What are your top five symptoms?

The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow! (I hope so!)

Make a list of your top five depression symptoms: especially the ones that sneak up on you and make you think they are real.

Write out this list and put it in your wallet. When the depression starts take it out and read it. Then say to yourself, “If I’m going through something on this list, it has to be depression. This means I have to treat the depression first.”

Depression behavior rarely changes. When you learn your symptoms, you can differentiate them from the real you. If you care about someone with depression, make a list of their top five depression symptoms. Memorize them. This helps you know what you’re up against when their behavior is confusing. You can say to yourself, “I remember this! He always talks like this when he’s depressed! We [ Read More ]





Posted on July 19th, 2011 | Category: Bipolar Treatment Tips, Depression

Over the Top and Below the Norm – Bipolar Ups and Downs

A good friend of mine who has bipolar disorder and I were talking about the ups and downs of bipolar disorder and I said,

 “Up sort of implies something good and down implies something bad. It’s not like that with bipolar disorder. Mania is just as ‘bad’ and as dangerous as depression. You’ve been in the hospital with mania and depression- and my mania – even though it’s euphoric has actually wrecked my life just as much as the depression.“

So, I decided that I need another way to describe the illness that shows how both the up and the down are ‘bad.’ I came up with over the top and below the norm. Some people have trouble with the word normal- I don’t. I know that I’m not normal when I get depressed or manic! I can compare myself to the millions of people around the world without the illness. When I get manic [ Read More ]





Posted on July 14th, 2011 | Tags: , , , | Category: Bipolar Symptoms, Depression, Mania

Thanks Tina Fey (Bossypants) for helping me get through the weekend depression!

 

As you can tell by the title of this post, I dealt with depression this weekend. A lot of it.

Sometimes the best way to get out of a depression, even for a short while is to read something funny. Or see a funny movie.

Here are two sugggestions:  Bossypants by  Tina  Fey.

I laughed, I cried! Actually, I was pr0bably crying before I started to read.  But I was willing to do anything possible to get better.

The book is raunchy, so beware.

Then I watched one of my favorite and very silly movies: Cold Comfort Farm. This is a British film made from the book- and it’s darn odd and funny.

Odd and funny are good when you’re depressed because the odd makes you think and the funny [ Read More ]





Posted on May 30th, 2011 | Category: Depression

Woke up Depressed- Still Went to Work

I’ve been stable for a week. This is a miracle for me as I usually have a mood swing every day.

My mind kept saying, “You will never get depressed again Julie! It’s gone forever!”

Almost 30 years of depression and my mind still doesn’t get it!  I am open to being well forever. It’s always my goal- but so far, the depression always comes back.

I was ready for it in my mind, but when it starts I’m always so mad, mad, MAD!

The past week has been so wonderful. It wasn’t mania and my mind wasn’t mean to me. I worked as much as I could. I truly like my work, especially the family and partner coaching. It has meaning for me.

But this morning  the big D was  back full force. I woke up at 4:00 AM and it started.

“What is the point of getting up Julie? Every day is the [ Read More ]





Posted on May 20th, 2011 | Tags: , , , | Category: Depression

Are you a selfish, mean and nasty depressed person?

In the past, I was definitely a self centered, whiny, sad and complaining person. I HONESTLY didn’t know this could be a part of depression. I always thought depression was sadness and crying.  Since my diagnosis in 1995, I’ve studied all forms of depression and was surprised to see that many people with depression can be just downright nasty and negative!

My former self included.

When I found this out- I wrote down all of my negative behavior and one by one changed it- the depression still brings it on. But I know how to counteract. When I get restless and unhappy, people drive me crazy and I feel like punching something. When I’m negative and nasty, no table in a restaurant is ever good enough for me and people are always happier than I am.

When I’m negative and nasty, nothing is right, so I make sure everything is wrong around me by being [ Read More ]





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