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    Bipolar Depression

    I’m Miserably Unhappy

    I woke up with this thought the other day- I’m miserably unhappy. Just great. Things have been going so well, and then the depression thoughts started to creep in. The first one was – Everyone in Portland is doing fun things. I had this thought as I was WALKING TO A DINNER PARTY! Then I got the feeling that I would never be rewarded for all of my hard work. Finally, I had a down swing yesterday that lasted a few hours.

    So, the signs were there. I was ready for the downswing as it was obviously on its way!

    I hate them.  They are especially hard to take when things have been going well.

    I have an illness and I can never forget that. If I remember it always, I can prepare and not be so shocked when I get sick.

    Julie





    Tips for better sleep!

    Everyone I know with bipolar disorder has some sort of sleep problem- it’s normal. It’s a bother.

    Sleep Tips

    - Sleep in a cool room- this can make a huge difference. If you get too hot, you will wake up more.

    - Turn off lights one hour before bed and listen to a book on tape by a really low watt light- not a daylight bulb!  I actually turned off the light last night and listened to a show on my IPOD. – Have a noise machine such as a humidifier to block out sounds from outside.

    - Keep your TV in the living room and definitely don’t watch TV right before going to bed. Not only is it overstimulating, it also emits a bright (blue spectrum) light that is stimulating.

    Sometimes when I write these lists I think, this is just all so ridiculous. Why can’t I just be like my friends! They can [ Read More ]





    bipolar disorder basics

    I gave a speech this weekend on mental health – in general. I covered the main types of mental illness- personality disorders such as borderline- psychotic disorders such as schizophrenia- mood disorders (bipolar and depression) and then anxiety disorders such as OCD.

     Whew! They are not so hard to understand once you know the basics.

    I then talked about the classifications of medications- anti depressants, anti psychotics, mood stabilizers/anti convulsants, anti anxiety meds, ADHD meds, and more!

    I get my medication information from my coauthor Dr. John Preston. If you go to the radio tab on juliefast.com you can hear our radio show on medications. They are not too hard to understand once you know the categories.

    The basics of mental illness [ Read More ]





    The depression returns

    Hi,

    I got really sick for three days last week. It was terrible. I thought my 34 day stability streak was going to last forever.

    I’m always shocked when the depression comes back full force. It is so nasty and horrible. No one can understand it unless they have felt it.

    It’s like living underwater with no air- but you don’t die! You just struggle!

    All of us with BP know what it is like.

    The day it started I said to myself, “Oh no. It’s back. But I’m going to get rid of it starting now.”

    It sounds like a cliche, but that is how I have to talk to myself when I get sick.

    In three days it was gone. I’m a lot better today. I woke up and knew I was fine – I knew this because I woke up and didn’t think about bipolar disorder. I just got on with my [ Read More ]





    bipolar brain chatter

    Hi Julie,

    In your radio show you spoke of your “brain chatter”? Can you explain what you mean by this? (You may have explained it already and I missed it.) For myself, sometimes I just run the same words over and over in my head when I am anxious, maybe in a group of people. I do not believe it to be psychosis (i.e. audio hallucinations), or even a delusion, but one thing I do know it to be: annoying. It is even as if it exists in a certain physical location in my skull.

    Weird—huh?

    I told my sister about it who said, “No you don’t!” I lied and agreed with her, “You’re right, I don’t.”  :)

    C.

    Hi C.

    Ah, brain chatter. This is what I call the brain in a blender feeling I get when I’m sick. I have so many thoughts and sounds in my head [ Read More ]





    My Mother and Bipolar Disorder

    My Mother

    I am the luckiest person in the world when I get sick. My mother is always there for me. I can only imagine what it’s like for her. I don’t ask her about it much as it would make me cry. She does what she has to do. When I’m suicidal, she reminds me to use my Health Cards. When I’m manic she gets out my cards to remind herself what to do. Actually, she has them memorized now, so she doesn’t have to read them anymore.

    I can remember being so depressed one day I rolled around on the floor sobbing. Imagine being a mother and having to see your child go through that! It breaks my heart- so I just do what I can to be the best daughter possible.

    Are you a mother with a child who has bipolar disorder? I take my hat off to you, that’s for sure!

    [ Read More ]





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