Today is a huge holiday in the States. It can be a really fun holiday- but it can be a tough one as well!

-  If you’re alone- look on meetin.org or craigslist see if you can find a group of people to meet for a fireworks show. It doesn’t hurt to try!

- If you’re like me and can’t stand the noise of fireworks and all of the crowds-  leave early after you have said hi to everyone- or don’t go at all!

- It’s ok not to join in the party. It’s not like you’re getting paid for it! I always say that opting out is a good biploar disorder management technique!

 I have two parties with friends today. I am going to sit and talk to people- when I get overstimulated- and i will- I’m not going to listen to the voices that tell me I’m not as good,  skinny or rich as the people around me and I’m going to have fun.

 Julie

this is pretty funny.. I just read the title and realize I write 4th of Julie instead of 4th of July. Don’t worry, I’m not a narcissist!

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The other night I went to be ok. I woke up at midnight in a downswing. It’s ridiculous. What on earth is going on with my brain! This illness is hard.

I talked myself out of it. “It’s an illness Julie. This isn’t real Julie. Life isn’t that bad. It’s depression.”

And I woke up ok.

Julie

One Bipolar Drama After Another!

I used to have a lot of drama in my life. Much of it was due to my own choices, some of it was due to bipolar disorder causing me to make stupid choices, such as when I get manic.

I have changed completely in the past few years. I’m no longer willing to make decisions and then just hope they turn out ok.

I get too sick when I do this. I have goals in life that I want to reach-  speaking to large groups on mental health, reducing the suicide rate in this country, financial stability, physical health- big stuff for sure!
The only way I can accomplish my goals is to examine every potential decision for disaster (drama!) from sending an email to saying yes to a request. I’ve learned to ask myself the following questions:

Will it make me sick?

Has it made me sick in the past?

Am I manic?

Is depression clouding my judgment?

How will my decision make me feel tomorrow, next week and into the future?
I also have a lot of people in my life who will ask the questions for me and really make me mad! But I need their judgment in case I’m making a decision when I’m sick.

This is a constant exercise- I’ve learned to slow down a bit. I’m at over 50% success right now in my decision making. Considering that I used to do everything blindly, this is pretty good!

I have almost no drama in my life these days.

Julie

Hi Julie,

My son, age 33, is bipolar and has made bad choices/decisions.  I have tried to assist him over the recent past.  The issue is how do I tell whether I am assisting or enabling.  I am looking for appropriate support organizations or resources to guide me.

Can you advise me?

Thanks,

R

Hello R,
 
You can look into the family to family program at NAMI- if you go to www.nami.org you can find a location near you.
 
My book Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder is for couples, but it has great info that you can use as well – the issues of caretaking are the same.

BP Magazine at www.bphope.com has a lot of info for families. I write a column for each issue.

My family uses my Health Cards to help me. They are life savers. You can use them yourself whether your son participates or not.

I need to write a book completely for family members!

These are resources here in the Us. I will find some more worldwide organizations and post them later.

Julie

Dear Julie,
Do you have any information on how to help someone (my brother) with BP who is required to pay child support, but cannot due to his BP condition?  He is headed for jail b/c he is so behind on his child support payments.  There must be some type of justification in the courts that understands that he cannot work enough to make the payments. It is very stressful for all of us. Any information would be greatly appreciated.
 
Thank you,
L.C

 Hello L.C.
 Wow, this is quite a question. The justice system is very used to seeing
 mentally ill people- but are not always up on what to do.
Here are some ideas:

- Get an official letter from his doctor with detail on his diagnosis, the meds he takes and his work ability. Can he get a doctor’s statement that he’s actually not able to work?

- Search your county for a court that is known to understand mental health concerns. He is probably assigned a judge, but it doesn’t hurt to ask. Here in Oregon, we have mental health courts- they are changing the way the justice system handles mental illness.

- Find out if he has any rights under American Disabilities Act- this is a long shot, but worth a try.

- And finally, he needs to talk with his partner and explain the situation- he has probably done this many times, but it has to happen.

If he is not able to financially support his children, I am sure she wonders who will. It is not her fault your brother is not able to work and I assume she just wants his help. I think your brother has to look at it from both sides. What would he do if he were in her position?

I, of course don’t know any of the details of the situation, but it seems that there has to be better communication all around. This may be a very frustrating answer to your question as you may have tried all of this already, but if it didn’t work the first time you have to keep trying.

Does your brother use a very effective treatment plan daily so that he can hopefully go back to work one day and support his children? That is a goal that is reachable and one that will certainly help the situation.

Yes, this is complicated, but there are options.

Julie