Bipolar Disorder and Teens- a guide for parents.

I did two newsletters on teens a few months ago. The response was amazing. There is not enough information for parents or teens with bipolar. He is a quick tip on how to distinguish ‘normal’ teenage behavior as compared to ‘bipolar’ teen behavior.

It can be difficult, but it’s not impossible.

It’s all about degrees- ‘normal’ teens and bipolar teens act in similar ways, but not at the same intensity.

Here are some examples:

 It’s not the behavior only- it’s the way the behavior is played out.  I know bipolar when I see it because I’ve lived it. If you’re a parent with a teen- start writing down the behavior you see in ‘normal’ teens- the ones who go to school, hang out with friends, have good relationships with their family,  don’t have a lot of fights, crying, etc. and then write what you see in your child.  You can find the difference there. If you’re a teen, you can do the same.

Adults with bipolar disorder have the same dichotomy of course- but we have more ability to recognize and change the extremes. For teenagers it’s all so new! These are often first time emotions.  If you’re a teenager with bipolar disorder, you will have to grow up faster than most people.  You will have to learn about your emotions sooner than other kids in your life.

You can do it. I’ll write a lot more about it in future blogs.

I made it through teenage bipolar disorder as did all of my friends. There is SO much more information now- if you were diagnosed in your teens- or if you care about someone who was diagnosed in their teens- it’s a really good thing to find out about the issues early and go from there.  I wish it had happened to me!

Julie

 PS: My Health Cards Treatment System for Bipolar Disorder is available at www.bipolarhappens.com. This is an exceptionally good system for teenagers with bipolar disorder and the people who care about them.

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Three Tips for Family Members

Three Tips for Family Members

1. Read, read, read: Knowledge about bipolar disorder is your number one tool. Read the DSM-IV diagnostic manual and learn about bipolar disorder. It’s only about ten pages- but you can learn so much! All libraries have this book in their reference department. While you’re there, read about psychotic disorders as well. And if you’re really interested, read about personality disorders and anxiety disorders. People with bipolar disorder share symptoms with all of these disorders which is why it’s such a tough illness to treat. And of course, my books are a great read as well!

2. Set limits: It’s hard to set limits when the person you care about might leave. But…. that’s what has to be done when someone has mood swing problems.

A. You cannot smoke pot or drink in my house.
B. Yelling is not an option. If you feel angry, please take care of it before you come into my house.
C. I can only see you if you’re on medications.

Tough stuff to say. It often takes families years to do this. I find that saying the following helps:

“You have bipolar disorder and I can tell you’re in a mood swing. I’m here to help, but only if you communicate with me. It’s not acceptable for you to yell at me or ignore my feelings. This is an illness and you have to take care of the mood swings if you want me in your life. I will help in any way I can.”

I’ve had to do this with a family member a few times. I used to fight when they wanted a fight, but not anymore. It’s an illness and they need help. Only they can choose to get it.

3. Learn about the Bipolar Conversation and use it 24 hours a day. I created this technique and it’s in all of my books. You can just read the Bipolar Conversation chapter in Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder and change forever the way you interact with a person who has bipolar disorder. I guarantee it.

It’s hard to care about someone with this illness. We’re difficult people when we don’t manage the illness successfully. Learn all you can about our symptoms, set limits and learn how to talk to us when we’re in a mood swing. All of these ideas can start immediately. I created the Health Cards for families just as much as for people with the illness. It really does take a village to help us stay stable! You can use the Health Cards even if the person you care about won’t take your help. They work.
Julie

To ensure delivery of our newsletters please be sure comments@bipolarhappens.com is in your address book , buddy lists and is added  to your email white list.

News Release
Julie will be presenting at the 2008
DBSA conference.

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 12
8:00 a.m. - 11:00 a.m.
More information about the program here:

If you have not signed up for the newseltter- you can do so at www.bipolarhappens.com.  There is a sign up link on the top menu. This is a great place to find out more about my Health Cards Treatment Plan.

I write as much practical information as possible in these newsletters. This is a tough illness to manage and we need all of the help we can get!

My book Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder is an excellent resource for partners of people with bipolar disorder. ( We have some challenges!) Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder also has excellent family tips.

 Julie

I used to hear these comments a lot:

Why can’t Julie just settle down?
Why is Julie always doing things that make her sick?
What is Julie’s problem?

They were often said to my mom.

My mom and I both know what to say now- we have educated everyone we know about the illness. The Health Cards helped as they educated her first.

Now, I see it as an educational/informational opportunity.

Here is what I say:

I know my behavior seems odd… (fill in the behavior here).  It’s normal for people with bipolar disorder to be this way- most of us have trouble with… (fill in the problem here!) We try hard to function in a normal way, but just like someone with a physical illness like (choose your illness!) we have so many darn challenges. I love the books by… (Julie!) I think you would find some interesting info about bipolar disorder that can help you see that I’m not weird, I just have a weird illness.

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Then it’s up to them to either remain ignorant or support you. You’ve done your best. I’ve found that almost everyone responds to this in a positive way unless they have their own mood issues they are not addressing….

Julie  

PS: My books Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder and Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder have specific sections for family members. If you can get them to read the books, life will be a lot easier for you!

1. Read, read, read: Knowledge about bipolar disorder is your number one tool. Read the DSM-IV diagnostic manual and learn about bipolar disorder. The entry on bipolar disorder is only about ten pages- but you can learn so much! All libraries have this book in their reference department. While you’re there, read about psychotic disorders as well. And if you’re really interested, read about personality disorders and anxiety disorders. People with bipolar disorder share symptoms with all of these disorders which is why it’s such a tough illness to treat. And of course, my books are a great read as well!

  This is my amazing nephew David. He’s six. I was pretty depressed yesterday. David came up to me and gave me a hug. I said, “Auntie Wee is sick today.” He said, “I know.”

 Wow. That is pretty insightful. I said, “How did you know I was depressed?” He said, “Because you’re always depressed!” I had to laugh! I’m not depressed very often at all anymore, but when he was very young, I was depressed about 50% of the time.

 I made a decision when he was born that I would be honest with him about bipolar disorder. When I had a tough day, I’d say, “Auntie Wee is crying because she has an illness called bipolar disorder. ” Then I would explain how the illness caused my depression, but that I was fine on the inside. There were days when I couldn’t play with him as I wanted to and he would say, “That’s ok. You can watch me play.”

I really believe we can be honest with kids about this illness. They understand. I never let it get in the way of how I interacted with him. He came first and he still comes first- I just know my limits. I used to get so upset with myself that I couldn’t find the energy to hang out with him on the floor or run around in the back yard- but he didn’t care! All he cared about is that I was there watching him and talking with him!

Now that my depression is so much better and he’s older, I teach him about mental illness and how it affects people- and I always do this in a practical, non scary way. By the time he’s 10 he will be an expert!

 He knows about my treatment plan (the Health Cards) and he will eventually know how to use them himself.

Kids are smart- they know something is going on! 

 Julie