Archive for the ‘Friends & Family’ Category

Newsletter: I have to get everything out of my house!

Thursday, October 23rd, 2008

I sometimes get in moods where it really feels like I need to just get rid of everything I own. It all seems to crowd me.  It can be odd stuff- such as not being able to stand having a dresser in my room so I throw all of the clothes on my bed and put the dresser outside.

My family is used to this.  They have gotten sneaky. When I say that I have to get all of the bowls out of my kitchen, my mom will help me put them in a bag and then keep them in her basement.  Sometimes a year later I will suddenlly miss my bowls and she will tell me where to find them.

If you don’t have bipolar disorder, you’re probably thinking- Julie is super weird!

Well, bipolar is weird! Right now I have the huge desire to get rid of all of my food in the kitchen. I have so many eating issues and I can just feel how the food is taking up too much space. It’s filling my brain.  My brain is telling me that things would be a lot easier if I literally got rid of everything in the kitchen and started over.

When I tell these stories, most people have some of there own!  When I’m manic it’s especially bad as I have a lot of energy behind the desire.

 I try to be reasonable when I get like this. If it’s something that’s really bothering me such as having too many socks in my closet- I can leave that alone- but if I feel there are too many books on the shelves, I let myself put all of them in a bag and store them somewhere. I feel a lot better. I’ve learned not to put them in my car and take them to Goodwill like I have done in the past.

I have learned to compromise. I wonder if you have ever gone through this!

My sister in law would laugh a lot if she read this as she is the one who often keeps the stuff for me!

Julie

Julie Fast’s brother Ed on having a sister with bipolar disorder video!

Monday, October 20th, 2008

 I asked my brother, “What’s it like to have a sister with bipolar disorder?” His answer was totally unexpected. I thought he would talk about the problems I had in the past. But that was a long time ago – and now we get along well. It’s good to ask family members what they think. You can record them and add them to your blog!

Julie

Bipolar Disorder Mood Swings: Weeks of Depression

Thursday, August 28th, 2008

Weeks of Depression

I’ve been depressed off and on for weeks. I wake up with it and often go to bed with it. I’ve had to modify my life to take care of it. I’m going out with friends more- more lunches and coffee meetings. I want to work- but it’s time to just work on the depression.

It takes time. Nothing is going on. There were no personal triggers- at least not big ones. I had a manic episode a few weeks ago and this is just the downswing that comes after. I wish I were manic! Though I know that is just as bad.

So, today is tough. I always feel better when my room and house are clean- but it’s hard for me to do it when I’m depressed. My mother came over and helped me. It’s amazing how much it helps the depression.

This is one of the strategies in Get it Done When You’re Depressed. Ask for help with cleaning- it really makes a difference.

My life is fine- the bipolar is the problem. I must remind myself of that all day.

I will get better!  I will go to bed feeling better than I did when I woke up. That is my goal!

Julie

Teenagers and Bipolar Disorder: Reader Comment

Friday, August 22nd, 2008

Wow, I am getting so many comments regarding teenagers and bipolar disorder. It’s a topic that is NEVER talked about- maybe that is because it’s so complicated. If you have not read my blog entries on the topic, you can go to the right and click on the teenager category to read them. I am following up with the topic through a reader question- here is a good one that captures the fear and confusion so many of us feel when someone we love has bipolar disorder that isn’t being treated effectively.

This reader comment is from ‘Mom from a 19 year old with bipolar disorder.’

Julie,

I have two bipolar daughters and a bipolar ex-husband. My heart is hurting now for my teenage daughter. She’s not well right now and she seems only to become involved in destructive relationships with guys who have criminal records, drug issues, no job etc. How can I help her see that her own moods and health are affected by her choices and that I’m not just being a critical Mom who doesn’t like her boyfriends? (I do like them, they are just NOT good for her) She is also in counseling, on medication but the constant DRAMA in her life would cause anyone to feel like they’re living life on a roller coaster. How can I better help her help herself?

Also Julie, I so appreciate you devoting your life to helping others with this disease and sharing so openly your own experiences. You are helping many.

Hello Mom!

First of all, you daughter is lucky to have you. I say that to all parents who try to learn about this illness even when it breaks their heart to see what it does to their children.

It’s a dangerous and rotten illness, but it absolutely can be managed. It may take many years as it did with me, but it can get better.

When I was particularly sick and didn’t know how to control my mood swings, I made very bad decisions with men. This is just what happens when a person is manic/depressed/psychotic/anxious and unhappy! Going for a relationships- especially one that involves sex is how many people try to cope. It doesn’t work unless the person is also willing to do the work needed to make sure they pick the right person- which is pretty hard to do when you’re sick.

Also, a 19 year old doesn’t have the maturity to be forward thinking- that is one of the main problems of bipolar disorder in teens.

There are many things you can do to make it easier on yourself- because as you have seen, she is going to do her own thing until SHE decides she wants a joyful, stable and fulfilling life instead of one filled with mood swings, men who aren’t right for her and a strained relationship with the people who care about her.

I will give tips on the next blog. I don’t want this one to turn into a novel!

Julie

When a person with bipolar needs your help but gets angry when……

Thursday, August 21st, 2008

You try to help! I hate that. I’ve experienced it- believe me. It’s like tip toeing around a mean animal on some days and then they are fine like a teddy bear on others. It’s part of the illness in many ways:

Denial – My friend Janea says, “There is not such thing as denial, Julie. There is ignoring, lying to yourself and stubbornness, but there is no denial.”

She means that when a person gets hopping mad when you mention their behavior and are then able to hear what you say on other days- they are either sick and are not able or won’t control their moods, or they know exactly what you’re talking about and just don’t want to deal with it.

 So, DENIAL when it goes back and forth is a river in Egypt!

Unfortunately, there is a true symptom of the illness, especially in schizophrenia where people simply can’t see they have a mental illness. The difference between this and what I’m talking about above is that these people truly CAN’T see they’re sick, even to the point of their own harm.

 So, if you love someone who is hot and cold, they can often control it much better than you think!

Teenage Bipolar Disorder: the difference between a ‘normal’ teenager and a teenager with bipolar disorder

Wednesday, August 20th, 2008

Bipolar Disorder and Teens

I did two newsletters on teens a few months ago. The response was amazing. There is not enough information for parents or teens with bipolar. He is a quick tip on how to distinguish ‘normal’ teenage behavior as compared to ‘bipolar’ teen behavior.

It can be difficult, but it’s not impossible.

It’s all about degrees- ‘normal’ teens and bipolar teens act in similar ways, but not at the same intensity.

For example, a teen who is angry may yell at you and run to their room and slam the door. A teenager with bipolar disorder may yell, try to hit you and then run out of the house and not come back for days. There is a big difference.  Another very important distinction- typical teens tend to calm down and go back to ‘normal’ once they have let you know how they feel. Teens with bipolar disorder can stay in certain upsetting moods for much longer.

 It’s not the behavior only- it’s the way the behavior is played out.  I know bipolar when I see it because I’ve lived it.

Adults with bipolar disorder have the same dichotomy of course- but we have more ability to recognize and change the extremes. For teenagers it’s all so new! These are often first time emotions.  If you’re a teenager with bipolar disorder, you will have to grow up faster than most people.  You will have to learn about your emotions sooner than other kids in your life.

I made it through teenage bipolar disorder as did all of my friends. There is SO much more information now- if you were diagnosed in your teens- or if you care about someone who was diagnosed in their teens- it’s a really good thing to find out about the issues early and go from there.  I wish it had happened to me!

Julie

 PS: My Health Cards Treatment System for Bipolar Disorder is available at www.bipolarhappens.com. This is an exceptionally good system for teenagers with bipolar disorder and the people who care about them.

bipolarhappens.com newsletter: tips for family members

Thursday, August 14th, 2008

Three Tips for Family Members

Three Tips for Family Members

1. Read, read, read: Knowledge about bipolar disorder is your number one tool. Read the DSM-IV diagnostic manual and learn about bipolar disorder. It’s only about ten pages- but you can learn so much! All libraries have this book in their reference department. While you’re there, read about psychotic disorders as well. And if you’re really interested, read about personality disorders and anxiety disorders. People with bipolar disorder share symptoms with all of these disorders which is why it’s such a tough illness to treat. And of course, my books are a great read as well!

2. Set limits: It’s hard to set limits when the person you care about might leave. But…. that’s what has to be done when someone has mood swing problems.

A. You cannot smoke pot or drink in my house.
B. Yelling is not an option. If you feel angry, please take care of it before you come into my house.
C. I can only see you if you’re on medications.

Tough stuff to say. It often takes families years to do this. I find that saying the following helps:

“You have bipolar disorder and I can tell you’re in a mood swing. I’m here to help, but only if you communicate with me. It’s not acceptable for you to yell at me or ignore my feelings. This is an illness and you have to take care of the mood swings if you want me in your life. I will help in any way I can.”

I’ve had to do this with a family member a few times. I used to fight when they wanted a fight, but not anymore. It’s an illness and they need help. Only they can choose to get it.

3. Learn about the Bipolar Conversation and use it 24 hours a day. I created this technique and it’s in all of my books. You can just read the Bipolar Conversation chapter in Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder and change forever the way you interact with a person who has bipolar disorder. I guarantee it.

It’s hard to care about someone with this illness. We’re difficult people when we don’t manage the illness successfully. Learn all you can about our symptoms, set limits and learn how to talk to us when we’re in a mood swing. All of these ideas can start immediately. I created the Health Cards for families just as much as for people with the illness. It really does take a village to help us stay stable! You can use the Health Cards even if the person you care about won’t take your help. They work.
Julie

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News Release
Julie will be presenting at the 2008
DBSA conference.

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 12
8:00 a.m. – 11:00 a.m.
More information about the program here:

If you have not signed up for the newseltter- you can do so at www.bipolarhappens.com.  There is a sign up link on the top menu. This is a great place to find out more about my Health Cards Treatment Plan.

I write as much practical information as possible in these newsletters. This is a tough illness to manage and we need all of the help we can get!

My book Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder is an excellent resource for partners of people with bipolar disorder. ( We have some challenges!) Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder also has excellent family tips.

 Julie