Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category
Wednesday, April 1st, 2009
I just read my newsletter- the one under this post. I learned a lot!
Yes, this sounds a bit odd- but it makes sense as the newsletters are a message from the well me to the ill me. They remind me that bipolar disorder is an illness and that no matter what I go though, I can bounce back. In 1999, I had few friends and was truly miserable in that area. Wanting more friends- like the friends I had before I got so ill, was an impetus for creating the Health Cards. This newsletter reminds me of how much work I’ve done to have happy people in my life. I can rely on them when I get sick.
Julie
PS: There is a button on the right under the relationship topic that will take you to all of the blogs on relationships! Also, you can read more about my books by clicking the Julie’s books button at the top of this page. You can also add this blog to an RSS feed on the upper right. This will send my blog to a folder in your email service when I post a new one!
Tags: b ipolar religion, biplar, Bipolar, bipolar depression, Bipolar Disorder, bipolar illness, bipolar spirituality, Bipolar Treatment Tips, bipolarhappens.com, depression treatment, depressoin, depressoin treatment, Get It Done When You're Depressed, julie fast bipolar treatment, Julie Fast Radio Show, julie fast writer, juliefast.com, loving someone with bipolar disorder, manic depression, newsletter, spirituality and bipolar disorder., Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder, treatemnt, who is julie fast? bipolarhappens.com, www.bipolarhappens.com, www.juliefast.com
Posted in Relationships | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, March 31st, 2009
Getting better day by day… by choosing loving relationships
I’ve cut back on almost everything in my life the past few years. If I see my life as a tree, I have done a ton of pruning. I currently don’t have ANY troublesome relationships. Can you believe it! It took a few years to know what I could handle and ultimately what I wanted. This has improved my life 100%.
I have a few relationships that cause me pain, but that is because I can see the other person is hurting and there really isn’t anything I can do. This is particularly hard when it’s a family member. I don’t add to their pain nor do I try to fix them. I used to try that and always got hurt.
If you look through your life and picture all of your relationships, what % cause you pain and what % bring you joy? I certainly have ups and downs with the people in my life- but that’s all normal stuff. No one makes me depressed or psychotic or suicidal! I used to have quite a few people like that in my environment. Once I got more clear on what I wanted, it was a lot easier to say yes or no to people!
This has helped my stability as much as my medications.
Julie
Tags: b ipolar religion, biplar, Bipolar, bipolar depression, Bipolar Disorder, bipolar illness, bipolar spirituality, Bipolar Treatment Tips, bipolarhappens.com, depression treatment, depressoin, depressoin treatment, Get It Done When You're Depressed, julie fast bipolar treatment, Julie Fast Radio Show, julie fast writer, juliefast.com, loving someone with bipolar disorder, manic depression, newsletter, spirituality and bipolar disorder., Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder, treatemnt, who is julie fast? bipolarhappens.com, www.bipolarhappens.com, www.juliefast.com
Posted in Newsletters, Relationships | 1 Comment »
Friday, March 13th, 2009
Here is a great comment regarding my post about relationship confidence- it’s so inspiring, I thought it would be a great post that people could read when they wake up tomorrow morning!
Hi Julie,
I know exactly what you’re talking about!
And I also knew, that living in a new city, I was never going to get out of the depression I’m still recovering from if I didn’t start developing relationships with people here.
I made a commitment that this semester I’d make a concerted effort. So I’ve been forcing myself to act as if people have every reason in the world to want to hang out with me, work with me, etc., and am getting very positive responses. I’ve even started joining meetup groups and getting together with people I don’t know at all. I think I might finally be getting close to the point in recovery where I can also start to reach for relationships with specific people I think highly of (in the “better than me” category), and might want to work with, etc. It’s a process…
Man, nothing has taught me how to “fake it til you make it” like this illness… Sometimes I wish I could put on my resume: SURVIVED MANIC DEPRESSION! That ought to get an awful lot of points for strength of character! Phew.
Michele
Tags: Bipolar, bipolar affective disorder, bipolar depression, Bipolar Disorder, bipolar disorder dating, bipolar disorder relationship problems, bipolar disorder sex, Bipolar Help, bipolar illness, bipolar mania, bipolar questoins, Bipolar Treatment Tips, bipolar triggers, bipolarhappens.com, bp magazine, dating help bipolar, DBSA, Get It Done When You're Depressed, julie fast, juliefast.com, loving someone with bipolar disorder, manic depression, manic episode, NAMI/DBSA, relationship help bipolar, Relationships, Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder, www.bipolarhappens.com, www.juliefast.com
Posted in Relationships, reader comments | 1 Comment »
Thursday, March 12th, 2009
I’m amazed at how my lack of confidence in myself often gets in the way of new relationships.
If you don’t believe you’re good enough for someone, you will do everything possible to make sure you don’t get rejected by doing the following:
1. Never contacting the person even when they show signs of wanting to meet with you.
2. Stay with someone who is not right for you simply because it’s comfortable and the person won’t reject you.
3. Never ask a person to join you in a business deal because you are sure they would say no anyway!
Yes, the list is endless and I have to admit I have done a few of the above myself. I’m working on it. I have an exceptional business coach. She introduced me to one of her clients because she thought we would hit it off. I had lunch with her client and it was great. Here is the problem. This person has a far more glamorous life than many people. She travels a lot and does many exciting things! I thought to myself- she won’t want to hang out with me! So I didn’t call or ask her to meet again. Stupid! She is just a person! When I finally did call, she said, “Julie! I was hoping to hear from you. I wasn’t sure what happened.”
Lack of confidence. If I’m scared I will get a no in terms of new relationships. I promise myself I will double my efforts to at least contact the person to say hi. It builds character and boosts my relationship confidence every day! And here’s what’s funny- when I tell people about my lack of confidence they look at me like I’m crazy and say- but I felt that about you when I met you- I was scared to call you! We are weird creatures.
Julie
Tags: Bipolar, bipolar affective disorder, bipolar depression, Bipolar Disorder, bipolar disorder dating, bipolar disorder relationship problems, bipolar disorder sex, Bipolar Help, bipolar illness, bipolar mania, bipolar questoins, Bipolar Treatment Tips, bipolar triggers, bipolarhappens.com, bp magazine, dating help bipolar, DBSA, Get It Done When You're Depressed, julie a fast, julie fast, julie the writer bipolar books, juliefast.com, loving someone with bipolar disorder, manic depression, manic episode, NAMI/DBSA, relationship help bipolar, Relationships, Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder, www.bipolarhappens.com, www.juliefast.com
Posted in About Julie, Relationships | 2 Comments »
Sunday, March 8th, 2009
Internet dating was one of the most stressful experiences of my life! In fact, it can be stressful for people without bipolar disorder! I stopped using the internet to date over a year ago. What a relief! I have to admit I did meet a lot of guy friends that way, but the other people I met… whew! A lot of trouble!
Maybe internet dating works for you- but if you find it making you obsessed or even psychotic as it does for me, there are other ways to meet people that are less stressful.
I have friends who met on Match.com, etc- but they are pretty calm and could handle the constant email and constant judgment from strangers! Not me! I used to put up profiles when I got manic. Now I use my mania more wisely. ha ha.
Julie
Tags: Bipolar, bipolar affective disorder, bipolar depression, Bipolar Disorder, bipolar disorder dating, bipolar disorder relationship problems, bipolar disorder sex, Bipolar Help, bipolar illness, bipolar mania, bipolar questoins, Bipolar Treatment Tips, bipolar triggers, bipolarhappens.com, bp magazine, dating help bipolar, DBSA, Get It Done When You're Depressed, julie fast, juliefast.com, loving someone with bipolar disorder, manic depression, manic episode, NAMI/DBSA, relationship help bipolar, Relationships, Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder, www.bipolarhappens.com, www.juliefast.com
Posted in Relationships | No Comments »
Friday, February 20th, 2009
Romantic Loneliness
I am listening to a beautiful song by John Legend as I write this. I also just read an email from a great guy who talked about going to bed alone again. I believe that all of us long for love!
I know that I do. When a person gets depressed and doesn’t have the love of a partner, it can be tough- that is for sure!
I made a decision to be celibate for 2008. I did it. I am doing it again in 2009. This is an odd decision for an extreme extrovert who loves being with people- especially men! But it’s a decision I had to make. I’ve been in relationships for all of my adult life. A few years ago after some really poor relationship choices- many born of naiveté – I just wanted a break. If you read my work regularly, you know that I am really good at the relationships themselves, but the dating was simply hell. So I stopped.
2009 is my year of health and wealth. I have huge goals that I know I will meet. 2010 is my year for a relationship. I believe that we can have anything we want if we plan ahead and do the steps needed to reach our goals. I did this with my bipolar disorder treatment plan- and I have succeeded more than I thought possible. I can have a life again- but I don’t have it in me to deal with money, health and men at the same time. The bipolar disorder can’t handle it.
I know that in order to stay stable, I have to do things in order.
So, I go to bed alone at night and that is ok. Sure, it’s lonely sometimes. But I now have the brain space needed to make some big changes in my life. This means that when I do seek and meet the right person- my health and wealth will be the best they have ever been!
Julie
Tags: Bipolar, bipolar affective disorder, bipolar depression, Bipolar Disorder, bipolar disorder dating, bipolar disorder relationship problems, bipolar disorder sex, Bipolar Help, bipolar illness, bipolar mania, bipolar questoins, Bipolar Treatment Tips, bipolar triggers, bipolarhappens.com, bp magazine, dating help bipolar, DBSA, Get It Done When You're Depressed, julie a fast, julie fast, julie the writer bipolar books, juliefast.com, loving someone with bipolar disorder, manic depression, manic episode, NAMI/DBSA, relationship help bipolar, Relationships, Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder, www.bipolarhappens.com, www.juliefast.com
Posted in Relationships | 4 Comments »
Wednesday, February 18th, 2009
Being honest with the people in your life is very, very hard. I’ve found myself staying in friendships and listening to things I don’t like or don’t agree with just to be a good friend who listens and accepts the other person. This is something that is preached to us a lot- we need to be rational and non judgmental. And yet, there are things people do that I don’t like, but to be totally honest, I’m scared to tell the truth as I fear the relationship will end. I fear that I will come across as non understanding and needy.
I then try to be a good friend by saying to myself- it’s her life- it’s his choice. It has nothing to do with me.
And finally, as a result of this dishonest ‘understanding’ on my part, my upset with the other person’s behavior festers and then comes out in one big scream on my part. I’ve done it over and over again. I’m too understanding of the other person and not understanding of the fact that it’s ok to be honest in a relationship.
It’s ok to say, I care about you, but I don’t like what you’re doing. If the friendship is a good one, it will survive. If it doesn’t – things can end gracefully before you blow up and really feel terrible.
This is advice to myself.
Julie
Tags: Bipolar, bipolar affective disorder, bipolar depression, Bipolar Disorder, bipolar disorder dating, bipolar disorder relationship problems, bipolar disorder sex, Bipolar Help, bipolar illness, bipolar mania, bipolar questoins, Bipolar Treatment Tips, bipolar triggers, bipolarhappens.com, bp magazine, dating help bipolar, DBSA, Get It Done When You're Depressed, julie fast, juliefast.com, loving someone with bipolar disorder, manic depression, manic episode, NAMI/DBSA, relationship help bipolar, Relationships, Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder, www.bipolarhappens.com, www.juliefast.com
Posted in Relationships | 1 Comment »
bipolarhappens.com blog reader comment- on confident relationships
Friday, March 13th, 2009Here is a great comment regarding my post about relationship confidence- it’s so inspiring, I thought it would be a great post that people could read when they wake up tomorrow morning!
Hi Julie,
I know exactly what you’re talking about!
And I also knew, that living in a new city, I was never going to get out of the depression I’m still recovering from if I didn’t start developing relationships with people here.
I made a commitment that this semester I’d make a concerted effort. So I’ve been forcing myself to act as if people have every reason in the world to want to hang out with me, work with me, etc., and am getting very positive responses. I’ve even started joining meetup groups and getting together with people I don’t know at all. I think I might finally be getting close to the point in recovery where I can also start to reach for relationships with specific people I think highly of (in the “better than me” category), and might want to work with, etc. It’s a process…
Man, nothing has taught me how to “fake it til you make it” like this illness… Sometimes I wish I could put on my resume: SURVIVED MANIC DEPRESSION! That ought to get an awful lot of points for strength of character! Phew.
Michele
Tags: Bipolar, bipolar affective disorder, bipolar depression, Bipolar Disorder, bipolar disorder dating, bipolar disorder relationship problems, bipolar disorder sex, Bipolar Help, bipolar illness, bipolar mania, bipolar questoins, Bipolar Treatment Tips, bipolar triggers, bipolarhappens.com, bp magazine, dating help bipolar, DBSA, Get It Done When You're Depressed, julie fast, juliefast.com, loving someone with bipolar disorder, manic depression, manic episode, NAMI/DBSA, relationship help bipolar, Relationships, Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder, www.bipolarhappens.com, www.juliefast.com
Posted in Relationships, reader comments | 1 Comment »