My goal when I’m down is to take action all day long to make things better. It’s hard. Where will I go? What project should I do first? Will anything work out? Why are things so hard? Etc Etc

 All good questions.  I will go out and organize my day while I sit at a coffee shop. I will then choose a project and do it.  Whether I am crying, filled with OCD thoughts or hopeless. None of it is real. Problems are real and they can be tackled and fixed. These thoughts are bipolar disorder and they need to be recognized and then ignored!

I will make a list under this post about what I accomplished today – just to show myself that I can get a lot done when I’m depressed.

Julie

Here is the list:

- Visited with my mom even though it was hard to be with people.

- Wrote in my journal regarding my mood and then wrote about what I was going to do about it.

- Stuck to my routine.

- Called friends and kept my appointments.

- Reminded myself it would be better the next day.

- Worked extremely hard on dealing with the obsessive THOUGHTS instead of obsessing about the SITUATION.

Julie

Here is an excellent question from Julie- I’ve asked this question of myself many times:

I like your blogs… all the advice about keeping a positive attitude, keep busy, think about the positives in live… I know I need to do those things but what if I don’t want to? One little (ok, not so little) thing made me sad today and now all of life seems pointless & not worth doing. I’ve been up since 4am & now I’m just waiting to get tired so I can sleep through the day & not have to take care of my kids, fix lunch, take a shower, or go to church (which I KNOW I need). “Stay strong,” people say, but what if I don’t want to?

Hi Julie,

That is the language of depression talking. I think that way all of the time. First of all, people who tell a depressed person to stay strong are doing so out of what they consider kindness, but to be very honest, it’s quite ignorant! This is a serious illness and telling us to stay strong is just not helpful at all!

All of my books address the language of bipolar disorder- what we say- do and think. And it’s the same for all of us because it’s an illness! If you don’t have the Health Cards- you can visit www.bipolarhappens.com to view a free depression health card- it’s in the middle of the page- it’s a PDF file. That will let you see that we all talk this way.

When I say that I stay positive, get things done and focus on staying busy- it’s because my brain is so nasty and unhappy for a large part of the time that I have to counteract it with a lot of tools. My book Get it Done When You’re Depressed is 100% about this topic- as I didn’t want to live or do anything for quite a while. Nothing seems important especaily the mundane parts of life such as doing the dishes or taking a bath when you’re depressed.

But it is ALL important. Life is about those things. I won’t let depression take away my pleasure of the little things. It tries.

I had a GOOD day yesterday. Things went well and I went to bed happy. This is all because of the years I’ve put in on saying no to the crappy thoughts of this illness. All of what you talk about: take care of my kids, fix lunch, take a shower, or go to church – is extremely important- the depression is just stronger than the good stuff right now.

You don’t have to want to stay strong- in fact- forget about that completely! What matters is that you talk back to depression, tell it to leave you alone and then do all you can to make it go away. When you feel better- it’s like there is light in your life again and the dark weight that is on your body can at least life enough for you to take another action so that you can move forward a little more.

My book Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder has a chapter called the Bipolar Conversation- I think your family and friends would get a lot from it! I can’t do this without the ideas in my books. I read them when I get sick. It’s too hard to manage bipolar disorder without a lot of tools.

Depression is an illness and it can be treated successfully.

Julie

Here’s another reply to the question from Sandra:
Wow, does Julie’s letter bring back memories! I had three little ones to take care of by myself and it was really tough at times. Fortunately, I had very supportive friends who taught me to call and ask for some help.

Sometimes, I just needed company while I did dishes or watched our children play together. Other times, we’d clean something, fold laundry – those mundane tasks that get so burdensome to me when I’m depressed! I learned from my friends that I tend to isolate myself when I’m depressed, and that it’s harder to stay depressed (for me, anyway) when I’m out with people. Even something as basic as grocery shopping with my kids could help me.

My three children have watched me learn to cope with bipolar illness. When life seemed to deal me more than I could handle, I also learned to call in professional help – my psychiatrist or therapist. It was (and is) important to me that my children see me managing healthy ways of coping. Julie’s books have also helped me learn when it’s “bipolar depression talking” and what to do to overcome those times. I’ve learned to do little things for myself that make me happy, too!

Sandra

Bipolar Disorder and Tough Situations

I believe that how I deal with problems when I’m well determines how well I will deal with problems when I’m sick. I’ve had a stable mood for four days in a row now. I love it! I’m also thankful as work has been very stressful. There was a problem on amazon.com for my book Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder and I’ve had to wait a few days to get it resolved. This took patience and a lot of my coping skills. My books are my career- so it’s like having a bad day on the job when amazon.com has trouble!

I work up early in order to work early and there were the negative and worried thoughts. I stayed in bed a while and listened to them- and then I said to myself- use the tips in Get it Done When You’re Depressed. Get out of BED and get GOING. That is what I’m doing. The same worry is there, but I know how to lessen that worry.

I am going to do something to make my current work situation better so that I can be proud of myself when I go to bed.

Julie

PS: Taking action always makes you feel better. It beats worry and stress.

Well, have you ever done a project that you just love and are so proud of? That is how I feel about Get it Done When You’re Depressed . This is a big thing for me as I was not able to feel much pleasure in my work for over five years. I spent a lot of time just dealing with the mood swings and complaining that I could do so much more if I didn’t have this darn illness!

Anyway, I use the tips in this book daily. On many days they are intuitive as I have used them so much- but when I’m ill, I have to remind myself to use them as everything seems so hopeless and pointless.
I used one today that really worked:

Put Yourself in a Place You Can Work 

I have a constant struggle with just sitting down and writing. Today I met my friend Sherri, who is doing a lot better if you have been reading about her on this blog! and then set up a time to meet another friend a few hours later. It was a two hour window which is exactly how much time I needed to work on my new article. So I sat here. I wanted to get up about fifty times, but it made no sense as I was meeting a friend just down the street.

This also works if you have someone drop you off and pick you up at a specific time. 

I always look for places that don’t have the internet as it’s way too much of a distraction. This is why I get very tired of Starbucks’ decaf coffee!

How is your work going these days? I have finally accepted that my ideal work week is 20 hours if I want to stay stable, so I have to put myself in a place I can work every day! What works for you?
 
Julie

Ok, I have to concentration… I have a task to do

My wonderful roommates moved out at the same time. I am sad to see them go, though the moves were good ideas on their part- one moved in with his girlfriend and the other went to New Orleans to build low income houses. But at the same time? In this economy! I have had some worried thoughts about that. Not because I can’t rent the room- I can. It’s the steps of getting the new roommate. There is a lot to do that has to be done on time. Thank heavens I am doing better today- but I find myself sitting because I’m not sure where to start. I am such an ADD baby!

I just have to get up and get started. Nothing gets done from a chair. Nothing gets done when I don’t have a plan. I called my mom. She is going to help straighten the back yard. I am now going to go through each room at a time so that I don’t go back and forth on projects.

I write about this rather boring topic because it’s a situation everyone gets in when they have a lot to do in life. I need to be writing, but I also want a companionable roommate. So I do this work first and then the work I have to do later. This is a tough enough situation that I wrote a whole book about it! Get it Done When You’re Depressed. I’m thinking of the tips in the book and I’m choosing which ones to use right now.

Julie

PS: We don’t have to want to do something to get things done. We don’t even have to feel good about getting things done. We just have to do things.

We are so American here in the states! Everything has to be FAST, PERFECT and ALL AT ONCE! In reality, it’s fine to do half of something now and then the rest later. I would rather get at least one room vacuumed than get frustrated that I didn’t do the whole house like I should have! I would rather decorate one room with holiday lights than get mad at myself that I didn’t do the whole house like others wanted me to do!

I always remind myself that doing half is a good thing- half a project gets finished eventually. Doing nothing…. well, it never gets done.

It’s all about a sense of accomplishment. When we get something done, even if it’s small, we feel better and want to feel that good again, so we many even just keep working, even if we are still depressed.

Julie

It can be really overwhelming to pay bills when you’re not doing well. I swear, so many of my ideas in Get it Done When You’re Depressed have to do with the little things- cleaning a house, making lunches for kids, finishing a project, paying bills, exercising, getting out of bed when you’re in a bipolar down swing! It’s easy for these things to get lost in a depression fog!

One of the most popular tips in the book is to work with a friend. I regularly go to a coffee shop with friends and we simply work together. We talk when we first sit down and then we work. I can do email, write my books, or do my paperwork. I often bring a big pile of letters, bills etc in a bag and just go through them one by one. I bring large clips so that I can organize them as I work and put them in a small file if needed. I am literally 100% more productive when I do my bills with a friend sitting there! It’s odd, but it works! Julie