Bipolar Brain Weirdness – while watching movies!

When I’m slightly depressed and psychotic, it’s hard for me to watch movies. Something odd really happens- I have a voice in my head that makes comments such as

- This is not real, these people are acting
- Look at the makeup he’s wearing. I can only see his eyeliner
- They are just reading from a script. This is not real
- This is no good. This whole thing is fake
- That was an odd movement in his face. I call tell he’s not really this character

Now, it’s normal to think about this stuff in a bad movie, but the whole point of a good movie is to suspend disbelief and when I’m depressed, I can’t get lost in a film like I normally do.

When I get the commenting voice, it’s different than thinking- ‘this movie isn’t very good!’ It’s an odd technical thing where my brain breaks down the action on the screen in a way that makes it impossible to get into the movie. There is no flow.

I try to ignore it! I’m always amazed and what my brain does when I’m depressed. It’s a different brain than a well brain, that’s for sure.

Does this even make sense!

Julie

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