I was a negative @$#%.
You can fill that in with any word you like.
Nothing was ever good enough.
When I lived in Japan for three years- I complained for three years- I just can’t believe that people put up with me! It was awful- and now I feel I wasted so much time there with my anger and irritation.
In hindsight, most of this was due to untreated bipolar disorder. I still have some of the thoughts now- I still want to kick things and yell at people – but I just don’t do it. It’s a struggle- especially with email as it’s so easy to complain on email.
But I don’t do it! I truly try to step back and think before I do something stupid.
The thoughts are still there- my brain still races all night when I feel someone has done me wrong- or when I feel I’ve been treated unfairly- but it’s often just bipolar talking. I can listen, but I don’t have to act on the thoughts. This saves relationships and saves me a lot of stress.