I woke up depressed. I was up a few nights ago so I’m obviously rapid cycling. I called a friend to tell her I was manic- this is part of my treatment plan- and she said, “Ok. What happens next?” I said, “Well, I feel so good right now, but I will probably go down. It always happens even though I never believe it will. I just have to look at the way it has been in the past.” Two days later I am down.
When I was sitting in my bed with what I call stunned depression- this is where I just sit and worry and can’t seem to move- I used my drill sergeant voice I talk about in my last book and I said, “Get up Julie. Get up and get on with your day. Get out of this bed!” And I did.
I feel better.
I don’t like bipolar disorder, but I’m glad I have a plan to keep me going. I may cry today and get upset at my life today- but it’s an illness and I have to remember that.
Julie
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