I have said this to myself many times in the past 15 years since being diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Just a few weeks ago I dealt with a lot of suicidal thoughts- even when I was crying and scared, I said, “Julie, it’s bipolar disorder. It’s going to be ok.”When I wake up depressed and think, “Oh no, not another day of depression!” I say to myself, “Get up Julie. Make it a day that isn’t ruled by depression. Then it will be ok.”Oh man. I get tired of this illness, but it’s treatable. I woke up slightly depressed this morning. I then made myself focus on what was going well in my life and the depression didn’t feel so overwhleming. Once I got up and got going, the day looked more positive. It’s getting up that makes the difference.If you’re sick today- it’s going to be ok. If you were super sick and just got out of the hospital it’s going to be ok. And if you just went through a summer mania where you did some really stupid things- you can get through that as well. I got through a three month long hypomania on a Navy Base in Yokosuka, Japan in 1987. There was a lot of partying going on and then a lot of depression when I got back to the states. I wasn’t diganosed until 1995. Oh how I wish I had been diagnosed then! I had my first mania episode at 17 and my first suicidal depression at 19. I’m 45 now and I’m ok!Julie
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Julie, thanks for the encouraging post. It’s so easy to let these bad moods suck you down into deeper depression. It’s nice to hear someone thinking positively.
Thanks for these words. I do not have bipolar disorder but sometimes wonder if menopause is sort of like that as the feelings you describe are very familiar. Are there any studies linking or comparing the two? I appreciate the encouragement, in any case. It will be ok.
Hi Bridgit,
THere is very little research on the effects of menopause on bipolar disorder. I will probably write a book on it once I have gone through menopause! BP Magazine did a cover article on getting older with bipolar- that may answer some of your questions. You can find the mag at http://www.bphope.com
Thanks for writing! Julie
Um…Are you me?
Hi Juanita,
I think these bipolar symptoms are universal- no matter where we live, what we do or who we are as people. I sure do get tired of having to take care of myself so vigilently- but it is paying off so I will keep going! I’m glad we’re similar. It means we are fighters! Julie
Thanks Julie again for your words of wisdom! I am having another really down day and because of what I have learned reading your blog, books, etc. I was able to get up and get some important things taken care of. Still all I want to do is take a nap,all I have been doing is sleeping lately, it is time to get up and GET MOVING!
All right Diane! I promise you that you will feel so proud when you get back in bed TONIGHT- beds are for sleeping at night- life is for getting out and doing things. What you have done is a major accomplishment- This illness wants us to sleep away our lives! But we won’t let it!
Julie
Julie – It’s encouraging to hear you and others write about their experiences with bp depression.
My serious episodes of bp depression come few and far between – Since I’ve been officially diagnosed I’ve had three major, life-impairing episodes. For that relatively small number, I’m grateful. But that doesn’t stop depression symptoms from creeping into my “normal” or “baseline” days. Especially in summer what happens is I tend to feel very dysphorically hypomanic until it gets dark – I get wired up and “wandery,” which means I feel nervous energy without necessarily being productive – but then that results in sluggishness and low motivation and other depression symptoms in the morning when I need to get up and start my workday. I also tend to want to take two-hour naps Saturday and Sunday. I do allow myself short naps, but sometimes I feel like the longer naps steal time away from me and from my family during the weekends. Today I am proud – I said NO to lying around and went with my hubby and daughter to the children’s museum. We walked there from home and made artwork together and walked home and talked with neighbors, and it felt good. I also have to remind myself that I can have a _good_ day even when I don’t _feel_ good. I always have to make the distinction that my life is good even when my feelings are all a mess because of my bp.
Hi,
This is a very encouraging letter. It makes me feel better to read that you go through what i go through- that means it’s an illness! It’s amazing that you can limit your sleeping. So many people have trouble with that- and I love how you say wandering hypomania. I will have to quote you on that one as it is a superb description of the INABILITY to focus so many of us go through!
Thanks again for your comments! You are an inspiration. Julie
Hi Julie, I can’t wait for you to be able to write a book about bipolar, and preimenopause/menopause. I am currenlty going through perimenopause, and when you have bipolar disorder, and are in that time of life, it’s a tough one. Thanks for all the writing you do both in books, your blogs, and the articles you write. It always helps to know that someone else feels the eway I do. Lately, I have been not so much depressed, but severly agitated, on edge, and easily startled. I know you’ve mentioned that before too. thanks for being there for us all!
Julie, I love your book on loving someone with bipolar. I am bipolar and my partner and I have been working with it for HOURS since I got out of the hospital (a true hellhole) a few days ago. I see that you work with a naturopath, but I see no mention of natural remedies that I have found VERY useful, such as Rescue Remedy and other floral remedies, essential oils, homeopathy, and special vitamin and mineral supplements. Any reason why?
Hi Satina,
I just answered your question on the blog under the title Bipolar Disorder and Natural Treatments. Julie