My mother is a genius when it comes to helping me with bipolar disorder, but it didn’t start out that way. It took her many years to know how to help me. I created my treatment program (The Health Cards) over eight years ago. There was definitely a learning curve for my family. When someone has bipolar disorder, family members want to help, but they rarely know how. All of the comforting techniques that work on others don’t work when a person is in a mood swing. Family members have to educate themselves.
It’s natural to say, “But you have so much!” when someone you love is depressed. It never works. It’s natural to say, “Why can’t you just focus? It’s a really simple thing to clean your house.” It’s natural to say, “It’s just dinner? Why is it so hard for you to cook dinner?” These questions are pointless as the person with bipolar doesn’t know the answers until they learn to manage the illness.
I always say, “You don’t have to understand why a person can’t do things when they’re having mood swings, but you can believe that what they’re going through is real and help them find a way to get better.”
Empathy is great, but it’s not really possible unless you have bipolar disorder- support is what matters to us.
Here is what makes my mother special:
1. She is not scared like she used to be. The Health Cards have given her a tool that works, so she knows what to do when I get sick. For example, when we first started using them, she had to say, “Get out your cards, Julie. You’re psychotic. What do you need to do?” If I was too sick to get them out, she said, “I’m getting your psychotic card out now Julie. I will see what it says to do.” As you can see, this gives us tools when I’m too sick to help myself.
2. She is often the first to read my manuscripts, so she knows my tips really well!
3. She isn’t embarrassed that I have bipolar and tells all of her friends she is proud of me.
4. She educates others. I just had a call in radio show, (you can listen to it from juliefast.com). She gave a great piece of advice. She said, “When you have to tell someone that your child has bipolar disorder, remember that the person you’re talking to probably has no idea what it is. It helps if you explain it while you give out the information. I say, ‘My daughter has bipolar disorder. You may have heard about it as it’s in the news a lot. She has mood swings and it can be really tough, but she works hard to manage it.” This lets others know it’s an illness and not something to be ashamed of.
My mom is a genius because she educates herself in order to help me. I am indebted to her and proud of her.
Julie
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