I wrote about this excellent question a few blog posts below- and I promised to answer it in the newsletter. Here is a reprint of the newsletter:
Hi Julie,
You wrote, “I know what I want my future to look like.” I know it’s a huge and possibly unanswerable question but how did you find that out? What you want your future to look like. My doctor and therapist are constantly bugging me to make goals for the future and figure out what I want my life to look like in 5 years. I don’t know! I find it really difficult to make long-term goals because I know reasonably-well that I am probably not going to get there. I crash, and lose everything. It sounds pessimistic, and to a point it is, but looking at my past and my history of episodes and hospitalizations and their outcomes it’s not completely untrue. How do you get past the fear and pick what you want your future to look like? How do you keep the hope alive and keep going when you don’t want to or feel like you can’t survive?
Michelle
Hi Michelle,
My friends see how focused and goal oriented I am and ask me these questions all of the time! What if I don’t have goals? What if I can’t imagine my life in five years? Why is it so easy for you!
To be honest, it has never been easy. But I just keep going as I know that the life I had in the past is not the life I want to have today. Also, a lot of it has to do with personality- I am a typical A type aggressive over achiever which is why being sick for so long was really hard on me. But, to be honest, I also really, really work at it on a daily and sometimes hourly basis. No matter what you personality, you can be goal focused. I believe it’s one of the best ways to survive this illness.
I could write a book on this- and probably will some day- but here is my greatest tip.
You don’t have to know what you want in five years- instead, you have to know what you DON’T want and work from there.
My goal for my life was simply…
- I don’t want to kill myself.
Then I created the Health Cards
- I don’t want to be on disability and unable to work for the rest of my life
So I worked 24 hours a day even when I was sick and psychotic to teach myself how to manage my illness using the Health Cards
- And finally, I don’t want to be lonely with no friends
So I did everything possible to become a good friend myself, which attracted the wonderful friends I have in my life today.
It has been 14 years since I started this.
This was the foundation I used to build a life where I could have intense goals outside of bipolar disorder.
I think a great goal for you would be to write where you DON’T want to be in five years and then make a plan NOT to go there!
Julie
PS: I write about how I did all of this in all of my books. I started with the tips in Bipolar Happens- moved into the Health Cards and then wrote Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder, Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder and Get it Done When You’re Depressed. All of them are ways to create the life I want and to show others how to do the same.
PS: If you want to sign up for the newsletter, please visit www.bipolarhappens.com and click on the newsletter link at the top of the page. I’m still figuring out how to add the link dirctly to the blog!
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Hey Julie!
I’ve never had problems with setting goals – it’s always been the opposite. I get so busy setting goals that I’m not able to accomplish half of what I imagine I should. Sometimes this gets me down but usually I’m so “up” that I just go to the next idea. I try really hard to be consistent and follow things through but it takes a lot. Right now I’m working 40 hours a week (against professional advice), raising my 3 kids, helping my husband look for a job, getting my dad set up with the VA for medical care and training to walk a half marathon in May. I think I was hypomanic through most of my high school career and I relate that speed as being “me”. It’s very hard to put down the cape and not try to be superwoman. Your health cards help a great deal when the speed gets to be too much – which is quite frequently. Thanks for the help.
Hi Julie,
What a wonderful surprise! Lol. I haven’t been on your site in awhile and was reading down the posts and was like, wait? What? That’s my question! Lol. Thanks for the wonderful answer. I really appreciate it.
Michelle