Life is good. I am working and getting things done.

I’m not manic.

I’m not depressed.

I’m busy like a normal person who isn’t manic would be busy.

This is such a dream come true. I just wrote a newsletter about the topic of goals and how long it takes to reach them when bipolar disorder is involved. I am never sure how long a period of stablity will last, but I will do everything in my power to keep it going!

How are you doing?

julie

Many people may think it odd that I start talking about my holiday plans in August! Now it’s September and I’m moving into holiday planning mode full time. I’ve had way, way too many depressed and stressed holidays to go through them again. It’s odd, because I have family and friends in my life who are very dear to me- but often our plans don’t work out or I find myself in the dark weather of the Pacific Northwest.  So many of us in this area deal with the symptoms of seasonal affective disorder as well! I think the poll to your right reflects the same concerns for many of us with bipolar disorder.  (There is a new poll up as of today- the past polls will be displayed soon.  58% of the people who tool the holiday poll said the holidays were very stressful. ) So let’s do something about it!

My solution? I plan now as much as I can for the traditional holidays that are expected in the next few months. I know where I will be, who I will be with and hopefully it’s somewhere in the sun!

So, I invite you to look ahead to the November and December holidays and then project into the New Year’s Eve celebtrations as well. Where do you want to be and who do you want to be with! There is plenty of time to plan.

Julie

I’m committed to using my new video camera to record more videos for the blog. My goal is to answer reader questions, give updates on my writing projects and offer as much support as possible. Feel free to send me topics for these webcasts.  I so appreciate the questions regarding bipolar disorder treatment, bipolar symptoms and help for family members who love someone with bipolar disorder.

PS: My mom looked at this video and said, “This looks nothing like you!” That’s good to know!

I just received the following question from Alixana on how a person can know if an exciting and endorphin producing event can cause mania.  Here is the question and my long answer- I try to keep it short, but nothing with bipolar disorder is short!

Dear Julie,

Thank you for being so honest about your battle with bipolar disorder, and for chronicling your experiences so that other sufferers can learn from them.I stumbled upon your blog while googling for a link between endorphins and hypomania. So far, nothing I’ve read suggests that an endorphin rush can trigger off a hypomanic episode, but I’m worried that there might be a possible connection between the two.

 To cut a long story short, I took up social dancing a few months ago – at least two studies have shown that it benefits patients with depression, so I thought it’d help with bipolar as well (I have Bipolar II). I gradually realised that after social dancing, my thoughts would start racing, I’d be unable to sleep, and I’d be slightly more irritable in the couple of days following, even though I’m usually on cloud 9 immediately after a session. I didn’t take much notice of it and attributed it to other causes. However, I quickly became hypomanic at a dance party recently without even realising it. When I crashed back down to earth later, the realisation of how terribly and how uncharacteristically I’d behaved sent me straight into a depressive episode.

 I’m trying to figure out if there’s a direct link between endorphins (from dancing) and hypomania. Or is there another explanation for all this, so that I can still continue to dance. I’m seeing my psychiatrist soon and will ask him about this, but I’d really appreciate it if you could drop me an e-mail if you have any thoughts on this.

 Many thanks,

Alixana

**

 Hello Alixana,

I always say that bipolar disorder is a classic chicken or the egg scenario.  What comes first? Mania and then a euphoric endorphin rush or a situation that causes happiness and then a mania response?

The answer is complicated. Here are some questions:

- Is it possible you were already slightly manic (hypomanic) which is why dancing was appealing?
- What is the weather like where you live?  Is it still sunny?
- What effects does the dancing have on your sleep?
- Did you meet anyone at the dance you were attracted to?

That is one scenario as all of the above can lead to manic type symptoms.

Almost always, sleep is the most important question when it comes to mania. If you have a wonderful time dancing and come home with your mind swirling-  which is very common for anyone in a fun and stimulating situation- are you able to go to sleep afterwards?  If not, this is a big precursor to more hypomania if you’re already slightly manic. 

I love karaoke, but if I stay out past 11PM, there is simply no way I will sleep so I either go home early or know I will take my sleep meds.  Also, in the past when I would get fantastic news such as a book deal, I would have about three hours to celebrate and then I went straight to depression from the stress. Stress can be something wonderful like dancing- it doesn’t have to be a negative thing. The bipolar brain often can’t differentiate.

In terms of your going to a dancing event and feeling embarrassed, I bet that the others there simply thought you were a fun person! We judge ourselves so harshly- well, depression judges us so harshly.

There is no question you are rapid cycling- going up and down  between what you call the endorphins and then the depression simply wears you out.

I would say that in terms of the chicken and the egg, all of the above is going on with you.  It’s easy to confuse endorphins – a quick rush of hormones that cause a sense of well being- and the over the top feeling of euphoria that comes with hypomania.  There is a difference. Endorphins don’t usually make you do something dumb! They are short lived- hypomania tends to persist after the event.

It’s great you’re going to see your doctor-  I am sure you will discuss sleep as that is the biggest issue here.  I use my treatment plan (the Health Cards) to track all of my moods so that I can see the triggers and know what came first- the mania or the event! I was always confused before I started writing down all of my symptoms.

Bipolar disorder is an extremely complicated illness- simply because our brains and its hormones are so complicated.  There is absolutely no reason you have to stop dancing- but you will have to learn to manage the dancing so that you can stay stable. It’s completely possible.

Thank you for writing,

Julie

Here is the reply from Alixana- it’s so interesting!

Hi Julie,

Thanks so much for your answer. After reading and re-reading what you wrote, I think I’ve figured out what happened. Basically, I’d not been sleeping for more than 48 hours before the party, and prior to that, sleep has been elusive. So I guess I was already well on my way to hypomania, and the party just had enough triggers to tip me over the edge. It’s reassuring to know that dancing per se might not be the problem. Like you mentioned, I must learn how to handle it so that it doesn’t cause any trouble in future.

Thank you so much – your reply gave me a great deal of reassurance.

Much thanks,

Alixana

 If you have to clean your house and it feels overhwleming then just do one room and praise yourself for getting it done.

If you’re manic and you want to clean your whole house, well.. just make sure you don’t throw everything out!

If you’re depressed and you have the money to do so- hire someone to clean your house.

If you’re manic and you’re cooking 10 dishes at once…. make sure you don’t cut off a finger.

Many people with bipolar disorder live with mild to moderate symptoms that can control behaviors in a negative way- but these are the symptoms you can overcome- you just have to be aware of your patterns when you’re manic or depressed and do the best you can to prevent disasters.

You can clean when you’re depressed- and you can keep the cleaning (and cooking) safe when you’re manic.

Julie

Hi Julie,

I am going to court tomorrow, and I have been a mess, shaky, anxious, and frustrated at everybody around me.  I feel like everything someone says is just irritating and worthless to me.  I  don’t want to be around anybody, but I know that is not healthy for me. I have been getting worse all week leading up to this stressful situation.  I am worried that I am going to have a full blown depression episode.  I cannot concentrate and am having trouble sleeping.

Hi C,

Isn’t it amazing what stress can do to our bodies and minds… I would be stressed too. It hits us harder- that’s for sure.  It’s amazing that you are aware of your anger and frustration- this means you can keep it from ruining relationships and getting you into trouble. I was majorly irritated yesterday and even yelled at a friend- I felt terrible and then realized that is not the real me and I have to manage myself better. I suggest that you have a mantra to say the rest of the day. I am angry because I am stressed and I have bipolar disorder. I will NOT take this out on other people. They are not the problem. I will NOT ruin relationships. I have made it through many tough things and I will make it through this. I know when the court session is over I will feel differently. I can do this and I will. Now, what do I need to do right now to feel better.

I talk to myself like this constantly- even with the stress is overwhelming. The truth is that you can’t get out of the court situation, so you might as well use it as a learning experience to see how well you can manage the anger.

Julie

I doubt you ever expected to read the words exciting and bipolar psychosis in the same sentence! But this is an exciting event. I recently wrote a very comprehensive article on Bipolar Disorder Psychosis and how it differs from the psychosis found in other disorders such as schizophrenia.  I wrote about my experience writing the article quite often on this blog. It was intense.

The article was published today on the website HealthyPlace.com.

I will be the guest on the HealthyPlace.com mental health TV show this evening.  I look foward to talking with people about bipolar disorder psychosis as it is very misunderstood and often under diagnosed and treated.

Here is the link to the Psychosis 101 article in full.

Here is the link to watch and possibly participate in the Web TV showon healthyplace.com

I hope you can join me.

Julie