Parent of a University Student with Bipolar Disorder?

Bipolar Disorder and College: What Parents NEED to Know…. by Julie A. Fast

University life is basically a petri dish for growing bipolar disorder symptoms. I’ll be blunt. People with bipolar disorder tend to have trouble in a college setting. As you surely know, this has zero to do with intelligence and school ability and has everything to do with sleep changes, new relationships, an often out of control drinking and drug culture, familial expectations, grade pressures and for many, being away from home for the first time.

If your child goes to school without a plan to manage bipolar disorder, the illness will probably start to manage your child.

Three Success Strategies to Manage Bipolar Disorder in a University Setting
Here are three strategies you can use immediately to prepare for this big change in your child’s life.
1. Contact disability service and see what is available for your child. I know, there’s a good chance your kid has zero interest in doing this, but it doesn’t mean you can’t. You don’t have to name your child.  You just need advice. Hello, my name is Carol and my daughter is going to school here in the fall. She has a bipolar disorder diagnosis and I would like to learn all I can about the services you offer at the school in terms of helping her manage the illness and what we would need to do if she gets sick. I would also appreciate information on the process we would use if she has to leave the school for health reasons. 

2. Set boundaries around partying by talking openly about drinking, pot, other drugs and ADHD meds.  I teach parents to do this through education. If your child has a goal to party hardy at school, you will have a problem. How can you prevent this from happening? By talking with a child about how certain behaviors affect bipolar disorder.  If this feels impossible, the feeling is a sign that there is a potential problem that can be checked now in order to prevent a phone call a few months into school that your child has been skipping classes and staying out all night.

I’m not being cynical here. I’m writing from extremely personal experience. If there were a degree for college binge drinking, I  would have a doctorate. I started drinking my first week in college and it profoundly affected my undiagnosed bipolar disorder.

If you have a child who has rarely been exposed to this lifestyle, it’s also a good time to have a conversation about how to respond the first time a person puts a bong in your face and offers you a beer. Oh yes, I have been there.
3. Focus on sleep management education as a first step. For example, It helps to choose a class schedule your child can truly manage. Asking a night person to make a 7:00 AM chemistry class is the first step to a bipolar disorder perfect storm. As parents, especially if you’re paying for everything, teaching a child that treating bipolar disorder first is the priority takes time, but it can be done. The best place to start is with sleep eduction. No, kids might not listen at first when you talk about how cramming for an exam can actually lead to mania, but with time, they will get the message. The number one way to manage bipolar disorder while at school is through healthy sleep habits.

Talking with Your Child Take GUTS!

Young girls and hyper sexuality: I know, getting a 18 year old young girl who loves chatting and having fun with friends to actually put down the phone and take time out to manage this illness might feel impossible right now, but I can assure you, when done the right way, it saves years of worry and helps her stay in school and get that degree! Girls face a LOT of sexual pressure at university. Mania and hyper sexuality need to be discussed in advance, no matter how uncomfortable the conversation might be. I suggest making a list of the typical hyper sexuality symptoms that come with mania and then talking openly about what needs to be done if your daughter sees the signs in herself. Let her know she doesn’t have to be embarrassed if she suddenly wants to sleep with every guy she sees. She simply needs to get help.

A Strategy for Talking with Young Men

I worry about the young men in our culture today. There are so many pressures from all angles- I always suggest talking with young men in the words they use to talk about themselves. This works with girls as well of course, but if you have a silent young man who isn’t keen on discussing his feelings, this has to be tackled before he goes to school. A young man with a diagnosis he doesn’t like to discuss for example requires special language he can actually hear.
Here’s a quick strategy. When talking to your son, start with something he said he wanted and go from there:

“I know it’s your dream to be an engineer. ”

“I know you’ve looked forward to being a fraternity for many years. ”

“You have always told me that you think a lot about your future.”

I teach this technique to all of my clients. Starting with a person’s actual words takes them off the defensive from the very beginning.

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These are just a few tips to get you started. People with bipolar disorder can go to college and get a degree, but it always takes a plan to insure a smooth journey.

Figure this out in advance dear parents! The majority of the calls I receive for my coaching services come AFTER the child got sick in school and flunked out with no plan in place. I don’t want this to happen to you.

Click here to read about my Back to School with Bipolar Disorder: A Masterclass for Parents of University Students with Bipolar Disorder Webinars in August. 

Julie