I just received a comment from David that is very familiar- people often ask me- “Hypomania is good, isn’t it?” David brings up a similar point.
Hi Julie,
I’ve never figured out why the diagnosis of “hypomania” is a problem… it seems like a good thing all around. There’s nothing wrong with chasing hypomania. In fact if you can live your life, or most of your life, in that state, then more power to you.
Mania, on the other hand, is just destructive.
Hi David,
You bring up a great point- it does seem that hypomania would be a good thing. One of the main problems is that though it may start off as a good thing if you have euphoric hypomania – it often takes over a person’s life in a negative way. I had a three month hypomanic episode in 1987 that did not end well- I was high for three months. I got married after knowing someone for one week. Many people with this kind of hypomania drink and do drugs, rarely sleep, make very dangerous decisions, upset their families, leave their jobs, travel without thinking and spend money like crazy. It can actually be very destructive- the problem is that the person with the hypomania feels so good, they can ‘t see the destruction. Then, most people go down after a hypomania. Unless you have a form of the illness where you’re mostly manic- the saying ‘what goes up most come down’ is applicable here.
I do love hypomania- I really do- but only at the beginning. This is why I never let mine go too far- I always go way down once it’s over!
Then there is dysphoric hypomania- that’s agitated mild mania that can be mixed with depression. It’s so uncomfortable and often at just a low enough level that you can do a lot of damage to relationships because you’re so darn unpleasant to be around. Sleep is also a problem here.
I guess that hypomania is like being on a drug. We all know that people originally take drugs to feel better- and hypomania sure does feel good after a downswing- this is why I want to chase it, but I don’t. I am more creative, expansive, outgoing, fun and wild when I’m hypomanic- to the point that I used to make a lot of mistakes- I don’t do that anymore. Now I have to accept that the hypomania is not good for me!
I think that one of the most confusing things is that people with hypomania don’t have psychosis- which is often what makes full blown mania so awful- and people with hypomania are just high enough to cause problems, but not quite out of it enough to need treatment. This is a great comment, so I’m going to put it on the blog.
Do any of you have positive hypomania with no downsides or no downswings afterwards?
Julie
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I don’t have specifically low downswings afterward a hypomanic phase, but I do have what seems to be a marked difference in motivation and mood. I get less anxious, which is a great thing, but that extends across the board to housework, paying work, eating and cooking. Which can make parenting a bit of an issue.
I think you addressed this perfectly!
I completely agree with your assessment of hypomania. My problem is with dysphoric hypomania. I can’t count (or don’t want to) how many bad decisions or scrapes I’ve been when experiencing these two manias.
Thanks for the thoughtful response, Julie! I certainly wasn’t expecting that. My only comment is that a lot of the things you describe, I have heard described as “manic” not “hypmanic”. Maybe there’s no clear line between them, it’s all just a sliding slope from one to the other.
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The thing is, I’m married to someone with bipolar, so I only get to observe from the outside. She is mostly either depressed or in a mixed state. sometimes, she’s just great (like right now). but when I met her, she was a manager of a workpace of 10, working on a phd, and had a large and active social life! I was like, wow, what a woman. So I attributed all that positive energy to a hypomanic phase that sadly morphed into depression then mania. That was 4 years ago, and we’re still picking up the pieces.
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Another reason for my comment is that when she was manic, some guy lent her a book called “the hypomanic edge” which talked about the amazing advantages in business of being hypomanic. It was probably B/S. I never read it, and I never found out who this mysterious “friend” was (don’t think I want to know), but the point was that he claimed that hypomania could be used to your advantage. I think I’m as skeptical as you however.
Hi David,
Thank you for the excellent original question! Bipolar disorder is all about emotions- so it makes sense it can be so confusing. As for the hypomanic edge- I actually agree that we can use hypomania to our advantage is we understand it and manage it very, very carefully while it’s happening. Most people can’t do that at all! When you give a thirsty person a cup of nectar- they want it to last forever!
I met my ex’s when hypomanic and then they had to deal with the depression as well. Now that I have my books, etc, I meet people when I’m stable and I do all I can to stay stable. Then people know that what they see is what they get! Four years is a long time to pick up the pieces- but it’s not abnormal. I am glad you guys are working on it together. The successfull management of bipolar disorder can actually make a relationship a lot stronger as each person has to be aware of their moods and where they are coming from. That takes work! I wrote Loving from my experiences of living with a man with bipolar disorder- while I had it myself!
She is lucky to have you! julie
Hi David and Julie,
Again I am faced witht the the confusion of whether my past experiences of feeling happy and hopefull in the present and for the future were hypomania or just me not being depressed. I am struggling with this question because part of me is very confused. I first thought that when I met my wife I must have been hypomanic, but it was at a time when a lot of good change was happening in my life and I first became a Christian and was getting involved in new friendships and social activities for the first time in my life at age 23. I think it is safe to say that this would make any person experience joy and happiness. But now as I look back at this experience I realize that I did not make any stupid or rash decisions in the first year and there were definitly some depressed episodes mixed in there at a few points. But I truly feel I was coming into my own. I did end up moving in with my at the time girlfriends families house, but we had dated for a whole year and I did not want to live alone in my grandmothers house because my famiily had to find a smaller place to live. I know tha the second year of living with my wife (girlfriend) at the time that I did begin to quiet down a bit and she got to see the more reserved and maybe sometimes depressed side of me. I also became very controlling and a bit ocd about certain things. I have always struggled with depression and ocd. Only recently have I had anxiety. I really am not sure if all of this was merely me coming out of a lifelong depressecd state and then slowly going back, or if it was really hypomania. Again, it all happened quite gradually and was not a few days of happy, and then back to being sad like it would seem hypomania would have with it. Pleas let me know what you guys think. Thankyou.