Here is a question from a brave reader who is dealing with some tough problems surrounding mania. Most of us have been through them- one of the main symptoms of mania is a lack of judement and control around sex. Beleive me, I had that problem for a long time. Here is the question and my answer:
I suddenly am unable to control the sexual drive towards another man who is happy to soothe me. I am a happily married woman. I seem to get caught up in the moment and I don’t know how to stop. I don’t seem to want to stop. He comforts me and brings sanity to an otherwise insane world. I know it would break my spouses heart and that he would leave me it he knew. I have to say I wouldn’t blame him. I know there is no future with this man, just comfort. Help.
Immediate help is needed and it has to start with you. If this is mania- even mild mania- it means that what you do now has the potential to wreck your future. If you have never done anything like this in your past and have not had problems with your husband in the past- go to the doctor now and tell what is happening with your bipolar disorder. It’s easier to do this first than try to handle this completely on your own with the other man. If you were on a drinking binge and in the gutter- you would have to get help for your drinking- if you have bipolar disorder and are having an affair – as many, many people do when they are manic- then you need meds and help ASAP.
Mania is so tricky. It tells you in the moment that all is fine- and then when it ends, you come out of it and say – oh my god. What was I thinking? That wasn’t me? My ex Ivan had an affair when he was manic. He was devastated when he got out of the hosptial and the mania was gone. Luckily, I knew enough about mania by then to know it wasn’t him.
But you have reasoning now- or you would not have written this site- this means that the mania is not bad enough for you to not see what you’re doing as was the case with Ivan.
Here is your choice- to let bipolar disorder and the choices you are making now ruin your life- or to find the strengh in you now to call your doctor and get meds that will help.
It’s up to you and I know YOU know what choice you must make immediatly. If I can control my sexual behavior around milder mania- you can do the same. It’s hard, but it’s 100% possible.
You were able to write your brave comment on this site and you are ABLE to take charge of your life and save your relationship with your husband.
You CAN DO IT!