A Reader Question for Julie
Hi Julie,
My daughter takes Lamictal and Lexpro and I believe she is going to talk to the new Psychiatrist about increasing the dosage, when she finally gets to meet him this week. My daughter has found a therapist that she likes but the therapist has cancelled some appointment- two I think. My daughter has very limited time due to her job so she cannot reschedule in the same week and it’s a time that she really needs the appointment.
I have to say it ticks me off considering this persons job. I’d think the therapist would be more aware of the effect, for many reasons. Is it unusual for a patient to ask for a phone apt.? Just a thought. I don’t want to react with the anger I feel and would like to make a helpful suggestion.
Thanks again, and at your convenience,
Kathy
Hi Kathy,
Therapists can play such an important role in bipolar disorder management. One way they help is to teach their clients how to live consistent and stable lives. If your daughter’s therapist has cancelled two or more times, I see this as a problem with consistency.
I have had to change times with my therapist- and she has had to change times with me- but it’s always done ahead of time and it’s rare. If the therapist is exceptional and really helps your daughter, I would suggest your daughter talk to her and say that sticking to appointments is essential. It’s important to remember that we PAY health care professionals- it’s not the other way around. When we pay for something, it’s natural we want value for our money.
People defintely have therapy sessions on the phone. This usually works if you have already seen the therapist a few times. I would still insist on the therpaist sticking to an exact time.
I think that talking with her therapist and being honest about her concerns is the first step. It may be the therapist is in crisis with something and has not told your daughter. But even then, if she cancelled again, that would be too much stress for me personally and I would look for someone else.
I have been with my therapist Robin for five years. She is essential to my stability.
Julie
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I had an appointment with my psychologist yesterday at 1:00. I left work early, thinking I’d have plenty of time to get there. Memorial Day traffic on I-95 was horrible – there’d been a bad accident that had closed southbound traffic lanes for 45 minutes earlier in the day and it was basically a parking lot.
I phoned my therapist’s office from the car and explained what was happening and begged (I am not exaggerating here!) for him to please call me as it was very important for me to talk to him. I was told that he doesn’t do that, and that they can’t bill my insurance company for phone calls. I told the secretary to bill me directly, that I would gladly pay out of pocket to talk with him for even 15 minutes! No, they just don’t do that. Now, I’d also tried earlier in the week to see if I could get in earlier than Friday, as I really needed to talk with him about a crucial issue. My next appointment is June 3.
Why did I want to talk? Because I don’t think my school will offer me another contract for next year because of my most recent hospitalization for anxiety. I was out three days (they don’t like it when we’re out) but wrote lesson plans and sent them in via FAX and email – even from the hospital. I don’t know what to do. I’ve never lost a job before and the thought terrifies me. I love teaching there, and I thought I’d retire there. But the stress of this year has brought out BP symptoms – I won’t go into it, but just understand that it’s been very, very difficult.
I am really mad with my psychologist. If one of my students’ parents needed to talk, I would call – and I’d be expected to call! There is no one out there to talk to about this. I think it’s time to switch my psychologist. He certainly didn’t care enough, when I was in obvious distress, to even call – during a time when he had no one as it was my appointment time and I was stuck in traffic. I need someone who is actually going to care about me.
Sandra
Hi Sandra,
I understand your feelings on this. When we are in pain we need others to respond to our pain – and yet our health care professionals can’t always do that. They see so many people in a day. I am not sure why your therapist didn’t call, but it was obviously very upsetting. I try to remember that when I’m in crisis, others aren’t so they may not match my level of need. Does that make sense? Bipolar makes me practically hysterical sometimes and yet others around me are so calm and normal. I try to get perspective. That IS scary about your job. I truly understand. It’s hard to live life and have a mental illness- but there are ways around it. I hope you can feel better soon so that you can methodically make plans to keep your job. It’s step by step- it can get overwhelming to think of all of this at once. To be honest, what I’m writing is about myself as much as it is about you. I just want you to know that others have the same struggles- and we can all find a way to work it out. I am going to go early to my office tomorrow and get things done. Please let me know how you are doing! Julie
Thank you Julie, I will pass this on to my daughter. Have a lovely holiday weekend.
Dear Julie,
I just purchased your book, “Loving Someone with bipolar disorder”, but after a few pages, which I will read the entire book, I am feeling a bit discouraged. My husband and I have been together since high school, we have been married 32 years with a brief divorce ( 1 year) due to an affair he was in with a woman with BP. My mother in law, while alive, suffered from BP, my brother in law, schizophrenia. My husband is very smart and highly educated and has been diagnosed by a Psych with BP, he will not accept this diagnosis, he has self medicated heavily with alcohol for approx. 15 years, at times has used marijuana and tried cocaine, his Dr. prescribes concerta for his ADD and he and I are good when he does not drink, but he says his mind always feels crazy. I love this man, but I am worn out truly. I want to always show respect for him and kindness, things are tough. I work as a flight attendant and this gives me a break. I have always been faithful to my husband even when he has not been able to give this to me. I need some encouragement. Thanks for your time, Julie. I will continue to read your book.
Sincerely, Cynthia