I’ve been stable for 16 days in a row- with one bad depression day in the middle. I haven’t had this much stability in over a year. I’m very thankful. I’m really thinking hard on why this is happening as I want to keep it going. I worry that the depression will come back full force – in fact I know it will. But the more I study this, the more I can see what I’m doing right – and keep doing it!
What is different:
#1 – I just finished a book and don’t plan to write for a publishing company for quite a while. The deadlines are very intense. It’s my career and the way I support myself, but the toll on my health can be extreme at times. I’m glad this one is done! It’s called Getting Things Done When You’re Depressed.
#2 – I decided to limit contact with my much loved brother. He’s going through a tough time and is cutting everyone out. I can no longer deal with it so I told him I love him and that I’m always here for him, but until he contacts me and says he wants to see me, I’m out of the picture. It has helped a lot in terms of my worrying about him and my stress when he’s mean to me.
#3 – I’ve decided that being single is a good thing right now. I have too many people to see as it is and adding a new person to my life is often what causes major mood swings. This is a really big deal for me and I feel a lot more relaxed knowing I can just stay where I am for a while.
When I write these down, I can see that they’re actually really big changes. I’m sure they are helping with this stability. The other part is my medication, and randomness. The brain does odd things sometimes and maybe it’s just giving me a much needed and very unexpected break that is only partly due to the changes.
In fact, it’s often the quiet brain that gives you the space to make the changes you need to make. Either way, I respect it and am going to get as much out of it as I can.
My goal is to reach at least two months of stability! That will be the longest stable period I’ve had in four years – so wish me luck!
Julie
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