I am going to court tomorrow, and I have been a mess, shaky, anxious, and frustrated at everybody around me. I feel like everything someone says is just irritating and worthless to me. I don’t’ want to around anybody, but I know that is not healthy for me. I have been getting worse all week leading up to this stressful situation. I am worried that I am going to have a full blown depression episode. I cannot concentrate and am having trouble sleeping.
Hi Colby,
Isn’t it amazing what stress can do to our bodies and minds… I would be stressed too. It hits us harder- that’s for sure. It’s amazing that you are aware of your anger and frustration- this means you can keep it from ruining relationships and getting you into trouble. I was majorly irritated yesterday and even yelled at a friend- I felt terrible and then realized that is [ Read More ]
It’s a devise used to see if you complain too much and don’t even know it! I used to be a major complainer. It was terrible for all of the people around me- and it wasn’t so great for me either as I was unhappy all of the time. Complaining comes from negativity which is a totally normal symptom of depression. As I’ve written in all of my books, negativity kills relationships- and so does the specific negativity called complaining!
This morning, I woke up in a bad mood. This is rare for me. I usually wake up slightly depressed- in a ‘poor me’ sort of way. This morning I just wanted to punch something. I have two choices when this happens. I can let the anger of this morning turn me into a complainer all day, or I can recognize it and treat it [ Read More ]
Some people are just hard to be around. They are snappy, opinionated, sarcastic, and sometimes mean. I have met them! It’s often a personality trait. This means they were born that way and will probably remain that well unless something or someone pushes them to change.
A personality trait is very different from a bipolar disorder symptom. People always say- “Julie, all of us must have a form of bipolar disorder.” I’m sure I’ve written about this in the blog- but there is a difference. All of us have certainly had bad moods where we are testy when someone even looks at us the wrong way. When a person has a testy personality they tend to be constant in their behavior. If you piss them off, they let you know and you can expect it. [ Read More ]
If you’re outside of the US, you’re certainly missing one of the most contentious and controversial political elections in a very, very long time. I have definitely opinions on it all- which is fine. The problem is that I’m letting my upset really work me into a frenzy. My friends and I talk about it- get mad about it- speculate on it. I was so frustrated yesterday that I almost started crying. That was when I realized that the election is a trigger for me. I know, it sounds crazy! But when someone affects my sleep, that is when I have to back off. If I find myself getting too excited over something, I have to back off. I have learned this-upsetting world events are too stressful for me to jump in and get involved. I called my most political friend and told her I had to stop talking about the situation. I am not [ Read More ]
I had a wonderful weekend at a writer’s conference. Because of this, I knew I had to be prepared for a downswing. It was inevitable. Bipolar disorder doesn’t care if I had a good time – it just noticed that things were different and that I was in an exciting environment.
I woke up slightly down and thought- oh well, I can get through this. Then I felt better! But it didn’t last. Within a few hours the bad thoughts started. First: I wish I were dead. And then: You’re Pathetic!
I always hear the ‘you’re pathetic’ voice when I get stressed. The ‘I wish I were dead’ is an old friend as well. One gets used to them.
That doesn’t make it easy, but at least I know my enemy. The weekend was amazing as it was the first time I was able to go to a conference and not get sick during the [ Read More ]
- Dating – Unrealistic deadlines – Troublesome people – Moods of others – Sleep disturbances such as a party next to my house – Travel
I don’t date. I give myself time to get things done- this is always a challenge. I say goodbye instead of hello to people who want to make me miserable. I gauge the moods of others and don’t provoke or even comment on their moods if I don’t have to. I have a noise machine, a humidifier and meds to sleep if I need them. I plan for travel way, way in advance.
Having bipolar disorder is like having a child you have to take care of 24 hours a day.
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