I am going to court tomorrow, and I have been a mess, shaky, anxious, and frustrated at everybody around me. I feel like everything someone says is just irritating and worthless to me. I don’t’ want to around anybody, but I know that is not healthy for me. I have been getting worse all week leading up to this stressful situation. I am worried that I am going to have a full blown depression episode. I cannot concentrate and am having trouble sleeping.
Hi Colby,
Isn’t it amazing what stress can do to our bodies and minds… I would be stressed too. It hits us harder- that’s for sure. It’s amazing that you are aware of your anger and frustration- this means you can keep it from ruining relationships and getting you into trouble. I was majorly irritated yesterday and even yelled at a friend- I felt terrible and then realized that is [ Read More ]
It’s a devise used to see if you complain too much and don’t even know it! I used to be a major complainer. It was terrible for all of the people around me- and it wasn’t so great for me either as I was unhappy all of the time. Complaining comes from negativity which is a totally normal symptom of depression. As I’ve written in all of my books, negativity kills relationships- and so does the specific negativity called complaining!
This morning, I woke up in a bad mood. This is rare for me. I usually wake up slightly depressed- in a ‘poor me’ sort of way. This morning I just wanted to punch something. I have two choices when this happens. I can let the anger of this morning turn me into a complainer all day, or I can recognize it and treat it [ Read More ]
Some people are just hard to be around. They are snappy, opinionated, sarcastic, and sometimes mean. I have met them! It’s often a personality trait. This means they were born that way and will probably remain that well unless something or someone pushes them to change.
A personality trait is very different from a bipolar disorder symptom. People always say- “Julie, all of us must have a form of bipolar disorder.” I’m sure I’ve written about this in the blog- but there is a difference. All of us have certainly had bad moods where we are testy when someone even looks at us the wrong way. When a person has a testy personality they tend to be constant in their behavior. If you piss them off, they let you know and you can expect it. [ Read More ]
If you’re outside of the US, you’re certainly missing one of the most contentious and controversial political elections in a very, very long time. I have definitely opinions on it all- which is fine. The problem is that I’m letting my upset really work me into a frenzy. My friends and I talk about it- get mad about it- speculate on it. I was so frustrated yesterday that I almost started crying. That was when I realized that the election is a trigger for me. I know, it sounds crazy! But when someone affects my sleep, that is when I have to back off. If I find myself getting too excited over something, I have to back off. I have learned this-upsetting world events are too stressful for me to jump in and get involved. I called my most political friend and told her I had to stop talking about the situation. I am not [ Read More ]
Ok! I keep saying I’m going to reply to comments when I can. I just have to do it instead of thinking about doing it! Here is a comment about school:
Hi Julie, I was going to school full time for three terms but this summer my doctor and I decided to change my meds. YUCK…I have been feeling horrible and really had two steps backwards as far as treatment goes. I am thinking of taking fall term off so that I can get medical help, read your cards and books and get well again. It is sometimes discouraging to try medications and have them mess you up more than help. To make matters worse my family and friends seem to think I can think my way out of this without medications or help…I am still hopeful for the future but I am struggling but I guess with bipolar WE are always struggling. smile
I had a wonderful weekend at a writer’s conference. Because of this, I knew I had to be prepared for a downswing. It was inevitable. Bipolar disorder doesn’t care if I had a good time – it just noticed that things were different and that I was in an exciting environment.
I woke up slightly down and thought- oh well, I can get through this. Then I felt better! But it didn’t last. Within a few hours the bad thoughts started. First: I wish I were dead. And then: You’re Pathetic!
I always hear the ‘you’re pathetic’ voice when I get stressed. The ‘I wish I were dead’ is an old friend as well. One gets used to them.
That doesn’t make it easy, but at least I know my enemy. The weekend was amazing as it was the first time I was able to go to a conference and not get sick during the [ Read More ]
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