A Bipolar Disorder and Relationships Secret

A big bipolar disorder treatment secret… .

Surround yourself with people who love and respect you. It’s that simple. I’ve been around people who say they care about me and that they want to be with me- but in reality they didn’t love and respect me. It’s all about them.

I don’t want people like that in my life. I used to know quite a few of them and I have met a few lately- but I’m getting better at seeing them at face value when we meet.

People who don’t love and respect me but still want something from me make me sick. Literally! I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than be with someone who so disrespects me they would continue behavior I have asked them to stop. The only thing I can do in a situation like this is say a strong GOOD BYE!

On the other hand, [ Read More ]





Bipolar Disorder and Suicidal Depression Downswings

This post actually follows a thread I started about four entries ago….  

Surviving a Terrible Down Swing

I got very hypomanic yesterday. I wrote about it earlier and wrote a newsletter about it.  Of course, it’s very easy to write when you’re hypomanic. But when it was going on, I could tell it was going to spin out of control. I managed to stay well enough not to do something stupid.

The problem is what I’m going through now. I woke up in a terrible downswing. Just terrible. Crying with suicidal thoughts. Just awful. I feel sorry for myself!  Then my good friend Karen had to cancel our evening plans. I always feel better when I go out with Karen, so this was a blow. I just cried and cried. The tears come so easily when you’re suicidal. I started talking myself out of this downswing. I thought of what I said in Get it Done [ Read More ]





Bipolar Disorder and Relationship Confidence

I’m amazed at how my lack of confidence in myself often gets in the way of new relationships.    If you don’t believe you’re good enough for someone, you will do everything possible to make sure you don’t get rejected by doing the following:

1. Never contacting the person even when they show signs of wanting to meet with you.

2. Stay with someone who is not right for you simply because it’s comfortable and the person won’t reject you.

3. Never ask a person to join you in a business deal because you are sure they would say no anyway!

Yes, the list is endless and I have to admit I have done a few of the above myself. I’m working on it. I have an exceptional business coach. She introduced me to one of her clients because she thought we would hit it off. I had lunch with her client and it was [ Read More ]





Bipolar Disorder and Internet Dating: Match.com, E-Harmony and Craigslist!

Internet dating was one of the most stressful experiences of my life! In fact, it can be stressful for people without bipolar disorder! I stopped using the internet to date over a year ago. What a relief! I have to admit I did meet a lot of guy friends that way, but the other people I met… whew! A lot of trouble!

Maybe internet dating works for you- but if you find it making you obsessed or even psychotic as it does for me, there are other ways to meet people that are less stressful.

I have friends who met on Match.com, etc- but they are pretty calm and could handle the constant email and constant judgment from strangers! Not me! I used to put up profiles when I got manic. Now I use my mania more wisely. ha ha.

Julie





Bipolar Disorder and Romantic…. Love… ah….

Romantic Loneliness

I am listening to a beautiful song by John Legend as I write this. I also just read an email from a great guy who talked about going to bed alone again. I believe that all of us long for love!

I know that I do. When a person gets depressed and doesn’t have the love of a partner, it can be tough- that is for sure!

I made a decision to be celibate for 2008. I did it. I am doing it again in 2009. This is an odd decision for an extreme extrovert who loves being with people- especially men! But it’s a decision I had to make. I’ve been in relationships for all of my adult life. A few years ago after some really poor relationship choices- many born of naiveté – I just wanted a break. If you read my work regularly, you know that I am [ Read More ]





Bipolar Disorder and Honest Relationships

Being honest with the people in your life is very, very hard. I’ve found myself staying in friendships and listening to things I don’t like or don’t agree with just to be a good friend who listens and accepts the other person. This is something that is preached to us a lot- we need to be rational and non judgmental. And yet, there are things people do that I don’t like, but to be totally honest, I’m scared to tell the truth as I fear the relationship will end. I fear that I will come across as non understanding and needy.

I then try to be a good friend by saying to myself- it’s her life- it’s his choice. It has nothing to do with me.

And finally, as a result of this dishonest ‘understanding’ on my part, my upset with the other person’s behavior festers and then comes out in one big scream on [ Read More ]





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