I didn’t feel up to working today, but I’m so glad I did. I would say my depression was reduced by half just by doing my work. It was weighting on me that I haven’t worked enough this week. No matter how sick I am, I can still sit down and work.
It’s a lot easier when I’m manic- but then I don’t want to work- I just want to party and have a good time.
What a confusing illness- work is an expression of who we are and what we want in life- it makes us money and gives us a purpose. It supports families and can even make us famous. And bipolar can take it all away in just a few hours depending on what mood swing shows up.
We all need a plan for those days so that we can and will sit down no matter what!
I always remind myself that opening my computer is often all it takes to finish a project- I just have to nudge my brain in the right direction when it can’t nudge itself!
If that makes sense. 
Julie
Well, I certainly know a lot of people who have been hit hard by our ‘current economic situation.’ That is for sure. Some of my friends have lost jobs, others have seen their profits decrease- and many are worried about getting laid off.But! I also have friends who have done very well in this economy. For example, a friend of mine works for an online college and they are doing very well. Refinanice mortgage companies and debt relief companies sure seem to be going strong.
My moods have defintely been affected by all that is going on. It’s a daily task to remain positive- but I have to do it. What is the alternative? I would rather be in a bad situation with a good attitude than a bad situation with a despairing attitude.This takes 24 hour work on my part. The positive attitude can be tough.
I was on TV yesterday – which was fun and great- then a few hours later I heard that one of my very important recording studio work projects fell through. It was quite a blow. I was down last night and woke up pretty worried this morning- and then I thought to myself: Only I can do something about this.I made it to my office and started to work. I got online to find another recording studio- I put some flowers on my desk- they are beautiful irises. I talk with my webmaster soon – we will work on continually improving my books and website.You just have to keep [... Read More ...]
I have friend who ask me, “What does it mean when you say you’re sick?”
Here’s an example of what I mean: I took on a great job writing an article for healthlyplace.com where I wrote the main mood disorder articles for the site around two years ago.
It is a very realistic assigment for me and is well compensated. I have all of the skills to do it and a great reference in my coauthor Dr. John Preston. I also have plenty of time to write the article. And yet, I started to get ill the day I started the project.
How do I know this is illness? Here is what happened.
1. Overwhelmed and consumed with jealousy when I saw strangers at a coffee shop who looked cooler and happier than I am.
2. I feel like my life is missing something that others have and that I want and need more to life. My brain tells me that I live a small life and spend too much time alone.
3. I wake up too early and have trouble getting back to sleep.
4. If I go out at night to someplace stimulating, I will hear conversations and music in my head all night and the next day.
I get waves of anxiety.
Bla. I could go on here!
And how do I know it’s the pressure of the article? I haven’t gone through this in a while and it started the day of the job. It’s so frustrating. But the article got done- the final draft goes in tonight. Unfair, ridiculous, [... Read More ...]
Recent Comments