I’ve kept a chart of my mood swings for the past year. It’s amazing to see what triggers most of my downswings. Without question, it’s difficult relationships. I knew that this was a problem, but seeing the reality on a piece of paper forced me to make some serious behavioral changes. I have to limit contact with certain people, no matter how much I care for them. I wish I were the type who could have exciting, but difficult people in my life, but as my chart clearly pointed out. I can’t.
There is a mood swing chart and an example of one of my charts at the back of my book Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder. The Health Cards can provide you a lot of information as well. I faithfully chart my mood every night. It’s depressing to see how this illness controls my life, but I at least know I am doing [ Read More ]
I have said this to myself many times in the past 15 years since being diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Just a few weeks ago I dealt with a lot of suicidal thoughts- even when I was crying and scared, I said, “Julie, it’s bipolar disorder. It’s going to be ok.”When I wake up depressed and think, “Oh no, not another day of depression!” I say to myself, “Get up Julie. Make it a day that isn’t ruled by depression. Then it will be ok.”Oh man. I get tired of this illness, but it’s treatable. I woke up slightly depressed this morning. I then made myself focus on what was going well in my life and the depression didn’t feel so overwhleming. Once I got up and got going, the day looked more positive. It’s getting up that makes the difference.If you’re sick today- it’s going to be ok. If you were super sick and just [ Read More ]
Hi, I just received a question from Sandra asking if it’s normal that her depression seems to show up every two months- oh, yes it is normal! Here is my answer:
hi Julie,
I have a question. Looking back at about eight months of journaling, I noticed that every two months or so, my entries suggest that I was depressed. It would appear that this is cycling every two months. Could this be accurate? Anything I can do to correct it? Yes, I will bring it up with my psychiatrist at the next appointment.
Thanks!
Hi Sandra,
Bipolar disorder is an episode illness- as compared to psychotic or personality disorders which are more stable over time. This means a person can have a few severe episodes and then none for a few years- or someone, like myself can have mood swings [ Read More ]
My daughter takes Lamictal and Lexpro and I believe she is going to talk to the new Psychiatrist about increasing the dosage, when she finally gets to meet him this week. My daughter has found a therapist that she likes but the therapist has cancelled some appointment- two I think. My daughter has very limited time due to her job so she cannot reschedule in the same week and it’s a time that she really needs the appointment.
I have to say it ticks me off considering this persons job. I’d think the therapist would be more aware of the effect, for many reasons. Is it unusual for a patient to ask for a phone apt.? Just a thought. I don’t want to react with the anger I feel and would like to make a helpful suggestion.
It’s a three day weekend here in the states. Many people are traveling out of town or have events on the weekend. On the other hand, there are those who are lonely and wish they had something planned. Holidays can be tough for both sides. If I’m manic, I’ll just go have a blast no matter where I am. I’d walk up to strangers and she what they’re doing. If I’m depressed, all I can think about is that other people have a lot more fun than I do. They go to picnics and see people and throw Frisbees and have a wonderful time. I’m sure I’m missing out.
Of course this is a great illustration that my moods are not my own- and that I need to get focused and create my own moods. I do this by planning ahead.
Oh man am I sick today.. depression has me in it’s tentacles!
- It’s hard to get on with life, but you usually have to. – It’s hard to have conversations because you’re stuck in your own gloom, but you still have to talk to people. – It’s hard to get out of your bipolar fog and work, but you have to sit down and at least get started. – It’s hard to feel any hope, but you have to remind yourself that there is always hope because this is at treatable illness and it won’t always be like this.
Can you tell that this is what I’m saying to myself today? I have been sick for months off and on- lots of depression and rapid cycling between feeling pretty normal and then going way down. I haven’t had much hypomania- which is a bit odd as it is finally sunny here (off and on!) [ Read More ]
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A Reader Question for Julie Fast