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    Looking back on 2007 MHA journalism award for BP Magazine column

    Time Goes So Fast. I remember when I won this.  It was one of the first times I’d flown in years. Meeting everyone was fun- I did deal with the inevitable anxiety- but I reminded myself that I didn’t have to go to every event. That helped. I remember being stressed in the airport. Now airports give me no trouble at all. Progress.

    It’s easy to think that you have done your best work when you were younger and see an accomplishment in  2007 as something that won’t happen again.  That is what depression wants you to believe. One minute it’s 2007 and then it’s 2012.  I ask myself- what have I done in between? How would you answer that? Have I done enough?

    We can do ANYTHING at ANY AGE.  What happened in the past can be awesome or awful- but what matters is what you do now. (That was a pep talk to myself.)

    People [ Read More ]





    BP Magazine. How Do You Define Acceptance?

    BP Magazine asked all of the bloggers to write about accepting the bipolar disorder diagnosis. This was actually a hard topic to write about. There are a few different kinds of acceptance when it comes to bipolar disorder- I wrote about what it means to me and then had a revelation. Here is the first paragraph of the post and then a link to the magazine blog. (If you don’t have a subscription to the awesome magazine- I highly suggest trying it out. I learn so much- it’s good for family, partners and health care professionals too!)

    Blog: How do You Define Acceptance?

    I “accepted” my bipolar diagnosis with great joy. I was glad to have a name for what I was going through. I remember sitting in an unknown psychiatrist’s office in Seattle in 1995 after I returned from my [ Read More ]





    BP Magazine Blog: Dysphoric Mania. I’ve got to get out of here! I hate my life!

    BP Magazine Blog: Dysphoric Mania. I’ve got to get out of here! I hate my life! [ Read More ]





    Posted on July 4th, 2011 | Tags: , , , | Category: Mania

    My Latest Bp Magazine Article

    Do you read BP Magazine? I love it.

    I also write a column for the magazine where I get to go into a personal topic in depth and tell a bit about myself in the process. There is always so much to write about – this time I chose the topic of cleaning up after a nasty mood swing. So much is affected when a person gets sick for a long period of time. Even a few weeks of a suicidal depression can change everything at work for example. This is especially true with mania- especially if sex or money were involved!

    If you have never read the magazine, you are really in for something special. I recommend it for anyone and everyone affected by bipolar disorder.

    Here is a link to read more about the magazine. I think you will really enjoy the [ Read More ]





    Posted on April 16th, 2010 | Tags: , | Category: Bipolar Treatment Tips

    Bipolar disorder anxiety and work!

    I’m sitting here at my desk writing my column for BP Magazine.  The topic is great- the length requirement is great. I have been writing these columns for years and usually enjoy the process. Today, things are tough. My anxiety is just hitting me from all sides! I feel it in my body- my brain and all around me.  There is nothing wrong- I’m on track to write the article, even though I’m a few days past my deadline.Anxiety can be so debilitating because it’s so physical. I can sit and work when I’m depressed or mildly hypomanic. I can even work when I’m mildly psychotic. But anxiety is tough!!!!!I have to finish this though- I need a plan.

    1. Change my writing position. I have a crate I use on top of my desk where I can stand up and write instead of sitting.

    2. Do a few minutes of yoga. I have yoga [ Read More ]





    Posted on July 11th, 2009 | Tags: , , , | Category: Uncategorized

    bipolar mood swings and the beauty of a rose

    Bipolar is so very weird. When I’m depressed I can look at this rose and see nothing of beauty. I’ve also had experiences where the beauty of something is painful because I feel so left out.

    With mania, the rose is too beautiful. I could look into it forever – which is not exactly true as when I’m manic I don’t do anything for very long. My attention would be grabbed by something even more beautiful.

    When my ex partner Ivan was really psychotic and in the hospital- I took him a rose- it had a lot of symbolic meaning to him- it was blood red- it caused pain- etc.

    Well, it’s pretty obvious that a rose isn’t just a rose is a rose…. ;)

    Today I want to just look at the rose for what it is. A beautiful flower.  I live in Portland, Oregon- also known as the [ Read More ]





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