Just plunge in and do it Julie!

I have had a ton of trouble with my meds  (Lamictal) for over six weeks.  I will write more about that in a future blog.   Right now it’s essential that I keep up with work and life to the best of my ability. When a person gets sick due to the illness- it’s sometimes about meds, about life or just the illness itself acting up. For the past ten years my goal has been to work no matter what my brain is doing. It’s hard. Very hard sometimes. But it is possible.  Sometimes a person can only work at half capacity- but that is just how it is. It’s interesting- mood swings don’t affect the quality of my work- they just make it difficlut to..

1. Get started.

2. Keep going.

3. Get it done.

That’s all. Ha ha.  I have sayings that I use when the day is tough- You can do it Julie! [ Read More ]

When You’re Really Sick… make salsa…

Oh man am I sick today.. depression has me in it’s tentacles!

- It’s hard to get on with life, but you usually have to. – It’s hard to have conversations because you’re stuck in your own gloom, but you still have to talk to people. – It’s hard to get out of your bipolar fog and work, but you have to sit down and at least get started. – It’s hard to feel any hope, but you have to remind yourself that there is always hope because this is at treatable illness and it won’t always be like this.

Can you tell that this is what I’m saying to myself today? I have been sick for months off and on- lots of depression and rapid cycling between feeling pretty normal and then going way down. I haven’t had much hypomania- which is a bit odd as it is finally sunny here (off and on!) [ Read More ]

Bipolar Depression Cure: The World’s Greatest Truck!

I was really depressed the other day – and I mean really depressed. My friend Pat called and said, “How can I help you Julie? You always say that you need action when you’re depressed. So why don’t you come over and we can have dinner!”

This is what I need when I’m sick. It was hard to say yes, but I did. I felt much better when I got there – we went to a friend’s tulip farm and had a great time with some other friends. All the while- the depression was eating away at my brain- at least that is what it felt like- but I kept going.

On the way back to her house, we saw a truck parked next to a field. From the moment I saw it- I knew it was a message to me- Julie, no matter what happens with this illness, sometimes you just have to REALLY [ Read More ]

Sunday night- finally feeling more stable….

I went to the wedding of an old flame of mine yesterday. Believe me- seeing someone get married is a wonderful thing- but it can be a rather depressing thing when you’re already depressed- and you’re seeing an ex look so happy! (Depression makes a person very selfish! )

My downswing from last Thursday has continued off and on. The secret is to keep doing exactly what you would do if you were NOT depressed. That is what keeps me going. I drove to Seattle from Portland- met a dear friend and went with her to the wedding. My mom came with me on the trip- so that was nice. And all the time- I was sad and depressed on the inside – and trying hard to be normal on the outside. I did a really good job which means that I actually did have a lot of good times on the trip!

 It is possible [ Read More ]

Bipolar depression: it IS unfair!

I struggle with the word ‘unfair.’  Some of my friends suggest that I shouldn’t use the word as it’s pointless to all this illness unfair. Other say- oh yes Julie- use the word unfair because it is unfair that people with bipolar disorder and those who love us have to struggle so much!

I am going to use the word UNFAIR today! I was fine for three days. Normal- with normal thoughts and behaviors. Then I woke up with IT. Nothing changed in the past few days- but IT is here. Ok. I can hear what my brain is saying- what is the point of work? It’s just a bunch of writing and email and getting nowhere!

What is the point of anything really- you’re not very happy and your life is pretty boring.

 I could go on! I am sure you can add plenty to this list.

I can’t and won’t listen. It’s an [ Read More ]

Bipolar disorder and severe depression…

You can survive this illness…… even when it feels impossible

I’m just getting out of two days of hell. Absolute hell. I had simultaneous severe depression and relentless OCD thinking.  I am finally better tonight.  Here’s what I did:

Dealt with work disappointment in a reasonable and realistic way. I am in a tough, tough business. There is more disappointment than success- that’s part of being in a media profession. This means I MUST be ready for the depression that comes with disappointment. Once I realized I was depressed- which was not hard since I know my signs completely- I then went into management mode.  This is an illness. I used the tips in all of my books 24 hours a day. Literally- because if I wake up with obsessive thoughts, I have to take care of things so that I can get back to sleep! It’s hard. I got out of bed. It’s the [ Read More ]

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