I’m slightly manic. I’ve always found it very easy to admit to myself and others that I’m depressed. It’s not that way with mania. Mania is so secretive. I get the little voice that says..
- Maybe you’re just happy! – Maybe this is a good day which is why you’re getting a lot done. – Maybe it’s caffeine- considering that I drink mostly decaf, I doubt that.
The truth is that I am manic when I think I’m manic.
I created my Health Cards Treatment System in 1999 and since using it, I’ve done a lot better mania wise. It still sneaks up on me- that is for sure, but the information I have on my Health Cards reminds me what my brain says when I’m hypomanic.
- Julie, you’re just creative. – Julie, you just sent in a book proposal- anyone would be happy!
It’s all untrue. I’m slightly manic and I have [ Read More ]
Julie, is irritability a sign of hypomania? I’m also going from calm and patient to incredibly angry in minutes (seconds?). Any ideas? I do have an appointment to see my therapist today.
Answer: Oh yes, mania can cause irritation and anger. It’s called dysphoric mania. You can also be scattered, unable to do tasks calmly, snappy and weepy. The main problem is that it affects your sleep. If you have dysphoric mania and depression- it’s a mixed episode. If you go from mania to depression and back, it’s called rapid cycling.
You will need to check your meds- if you’re on an antidepressant, it’s possible it is causing this- if you’ve recently had a stessful event in life, that can be the problem as well. I’ve found it’s usually medications or a trigger that starts something. Or, it can just be the darn illness. There are many meds [ Read More ]
I’ve had a lot of irritation lately. My Lamictal dosage is messed up (my fault) and I can feel it affecting my tolerance level. I swear, I was in so much traffic the other day I thought I would explode. I live in a city, so this was not abnormal. What was abnormal is how I reacted to the traffic: cussing out my window when I was stopped at a green light. Honking my horn. Banging my steering wheel. Leaving a message on my friend’s cell saying, “Portland is a great city, but it’s going to hell!! This traffic is getting worse every day!”
I felt my face squeeze into an ugly mask. I wanted to hurt someone or ram someone’s car. And then I stopped and thought,Oh no. I’m rapid cycling. And right there, I realized what was going on. I was rapid cycling and my head was [ Read More ]
I used to have a lot of drama in my life. Much of it was due to my own choices, some of it was due to bipolar disorder causing me to make stupid choices, such as when I get manic.
I have changed completely in the past few years. I’m no longer willing to make decisions and then just hope they turn out ok.
I get too sick when I do this. I have goals in life that I want to reach- speaking to large groups on mental health, reducing the suicide rate in this country, financial stability, physical health- big stuff for sure! The only way I can accomplish my goals is to examine every potential decision for disaster (drama!) from sending an email to saying yes to a request. I’ve learned to ask myself the following questions:
It’s so hard to be generous when you feel like hell.
It’s hard to be happy for others when you’re unhappy.
It’s hard not to be jealous when you see someone get what you can’t have.
It’s hard to say, ‘I’m so proud of you! Good job! You deserve it! I’m happy for you!” when you fell like your world is falling apart.
But guess what, you can teach yourself to do it- even when you don’t feel you can do it.
I call it acting as if.
When I’m unbelievably jealous of a friend, I first have to look inside myself and see where the jealousy comes from- it usually comes from depression. In fact, if I’m jealous and depressed and mean and nasty and then the friend starts having problems, I actually feel better! It’s awful and something I fight a lot! It simply is not the real me. I am always happy [ Read More ]
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