I once watched a reality show on becoming a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader when I was at the gym. I had a political interview show on my IPOD, but this was far more intriguing ! First of all, it was a pretty weak premise for a show – as watching cheerleader tryouts probably brings back a lot of bad memories for those of us who were not fond of high school! But there was something very interesting on the show.
The women had to climb up a really high pole and jump off onto a trapeze bar. Yes, that was one of the tasks. There was one candidate who was very scared of heights. She cried the whole way up the pole. But I had to admire her. She got up there, stood up and jumped off. It was pretty safe as she [ Read More ]
You asked me to explain my view on your euphoric mania. It was good for me to write it down. I can see how much more I understand than we first met almost six years ago!
I’ve always thought of mania as a “Euphoric” high, the feeling that we all have at times that is exacerbated with someone with bipolar disorder. You tell me you feel like you can do no wrong, you feel great, you can’t believe you’ve ever been depressed. You can spend money, make big decisions, all with this state of mind. I compare it to making decisions with a depressed mind, you don’t want to do that either.
It’s like two ends of a spectrum and they were really hard for me to get clear on at first.
It may feel great to be on a manic high, but it seems uncontrollable to me. You make decisions that are [ Read More ]
Writing through anxietyAnxiety comes in many forms- but there is one thing they all have in common. Physical symptoms. These symptoms include breathing problems, uncomfortable waves of fear, restlessness and in some, paralysis! Anxiety is complicated because it can be seen as a person’s inability to deal with life- when in reality it’s a well documented and treatable illness. I’ve often sat down to write a book and felt such waves of anxiety I felt there was no way I could go on. I can usually write through them- on really tough days I walk around. Then there really are some days where I just give up and write more later. When I had my own radio show- I loved being live, but the anxiety was so bad a few days before the show I felt like I was going crazy. I’ve never experienced anything like it. When you listen to the shows, I bet [ Read More ]
Bipolar is so very weird. When I’m depressed I can look at this rose and see nothing of beauty. I’ve also had experiences where the beauty of something is painful because I feel so left out.
With mania, the rose is too beautiful. I could look into it forever – which is not exactly true as when I’m manic I don’t do anything for very long. My attention would be grabbed by something even more beautiful.
When my ex partner Ivan was really psychotic and in the hospital- I took him a rose- it had a lot of symbolic meaning to him- it was blood red- it caused pain- etc.
Well, it’s pretty obvious that a rose isn’t just a rose is a rose….
Today I want to just look at the rose for what it is. A beautiful flower. I live in Portland, Oregon- also known as the [ Read More ]
Hi, I just received a question from Sandra asking if it’s normal that her depression seems to show up every two months- oh, yes it is normal! Here is my answer:
hi Julie,
I have a question. Looking back at about eight months of journaling, I noticed that every two months or so, my entries suggest that I was depressed. It would appear that this is cycling every two months. Could this be accurate? Anything I can do to correct it? Yes, I will bring it up with my psychiatrist at the next appointment.
Thanks!
Hi Sandra,
Bipolar disorder is an episode illness- as compared to psychotic or personality disorders which are more stable over time. This means a person can have a few severe episodes and then none for a few years- or someone, like myself can have mood swings [ Read More ]
Here is a comment from J. on my blog about the economic climate in this country- it’s a good one!
thank u for this. I needed some cheering up. financially we are at out wits’ end. I function only due to my meds. without them i’d be dead now. bipolar is no joke, and having financial problems on top of it…well, it’s hard to stay sane. I CAN choose to enjoy as much of my life THIS MOMENT as I can, no matter what is going on around me. so I try. I fight depression. my meds keep me from mania which is good or we’d be in worse trouble. I thank god I still have left things to be thankful for RIGHT NOW. tomorrow will be dealt with tomorrow. that’s how I cope with money problems I can’t fix. one day at a time. if I live in the present I can cope [ Read More ]
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I once watched a reality show on becoming a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader when I was at the gym. I had a political interview show on my IPOD, but this was far more intriguing ! First of all, it was a pretty weak premise for a show – as watching cheerleader tryouts probably brings back a lot of bad memories for those of us who were not fond of high school! But there was something very interesting on the show. 
A Reader Question for Julie Fast