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I am back from a two week trip where I learned a lot about myself. First of all, I thought that having free time meant having a vacation. It doesn’t. Free time means that I’m always worrying that I should work more- and I get upset that I’m sick all of the time. A vacation- I just had one for the first time in probably 10 years- is different. One day with my friend Pam, I just walked around San Antonio, Texas and didn’t think about my work at all. I enjoyed the beautiful setting of the River Walk and the company of my friend of over 20 years! I think that is the definition of a vacation from bipolar disorder as well!
Julie
PS: When I got really sick in 1998, I was a mess and lost most of my friends. Pam was in the Peace Corps in Paraguay, [ Read More ]
I am very hard on myself when I have a tough day and can’t work. It’s hard for me to remember that this is a serious illness. If I had asthma, I would know there would be some times that I couldn’t run – or if I had MS, there would be times when I would feel tired. And yet, with bipolar, it’s hard to see it as an illness. It is just so darn personal. I had a super tough day today. I was sick. That is the truth. I have to go easier on myself. Bipolar Disorder is an illness and I had to take a sick day.
I lost an entire day today. That has not happened in a while. I’ve been traveling to see friends and for the most part, I’ve had a wonderful time. I was able to work with my friend Lorraine as we are both writers. When Lorraine went back to her regular job, my concentration and ability to work plummeted. I’m used to this. Yesterday, I made myself work using my normal techniques and ideas. I made sure I told Lorraine the projects I was going to get done so that I could show them to her when she got back. It’s a technique that works. When I know I have to show my work to someone, I can focus more.
Then today… I am in Florida, so I wanted to go to the beach. The plan was to drive there, walk on the beach and write [ Read More ]
Here is a truism: Avoiding the letter, doesn’t make it better!
I’m referring to the bills that may be unopened in a drawer or in a pile on your table. It can be so scary to face reality financially. I highly recommend it though- it really is better to know what you’re up against than to imagine what you’re up against.
I have lost a lot and I mean a lot of money by not taking care of bills or other financial business before it’s too late. I am getting better at this. I look at my account online. Sometimes I cringe- but I want to be aware of my financial situation so that I can stay stable. Also, I want to be able to think rationally when I wake up too early and start to worry! When my bipolar gets bad and I feel overwhelmed, I can miss deadlines- and this costs money so there [ Read More ]
Well! I never thought I would be so well that I could just get ready and get on a plane to Texas without stress! But it’s happening. I leave tomorrow morning for San Antonio where I will see a dear friend and her three kids for New Year’s Eve! As you know, I wrote a lot about having plans for holidays this year- and I did it!
Then I go to Jacksonville, Florida to see another dear friend. I will work on a proposal for my new book while she is working. We will then have fun on the weekends. I have to rent a car and get around by myself. I have done all of my own packing and I am actually getting through today without stress- I have to be at the airport at 4AM tomorrow!
Why am I telling you all of this mundane stuff? Because just a few years ago none [ Read More ]
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