Hi There,
I am constantly amazed at what great comments readers leave on the site. It helps me to remember that bipolar disorder is an illness and we all get sick in the same way. We truly don’t have ‘emotional problems!’ We have trouble regulating our emotions. It’s a big difference.
If you have a comment you feel would help someone- feel free to post it under their comment. I just ask that you stick to your own experience and what has worked and hasn’t worked for you. This helps more than you know because your story lets others know they are not weird and they are not alone! (We just act weird and feel lonely- ha ha)
I woke up depressed- reading the blog this morning helped! I am just going to get on with my day.
It’s an illness and we can manage it.
Julie
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Dear Julie,
Thanks for your website!
I enjoy your articles very much.
I liked your article Spring = Mania but I noticed it was written last year…..but it’s so positive!!!!
I LIKE hanging around with positive people!
I’ve been working with BP for 18 years now.
I had to change my life around. I can’t work full time so I work as a Substitute Teacher. It’s flexible and works out okay for me. I don’t make much money but money can’t buy happiness or your sanity. I can take time off to see my doctor or just take time off just to regroup.
I don’t hang around BP Support Groups or BP Forums because many have “negative energies” and will drain my energies. BP is like surviving on a life raft and sometimes its okay to shove someone off the raft figuratively if they’re going to make your mental well being miserable.
I’m doing okay but I do stumble down once in awhile but I always get back on the saddle again.
My recent “relapse” happen after we switched over to day light savings time in March. It really messed me up! I was very energetic and filled with confidence. It coincide with a two week assignment as a substitute teacher. Everything worked out okay…no child was harmed and it was a good experience but I noticed that my energetic style was crossing over to warp speed. The students were also filling the effects of spring mania too. They became more like March Rabbits and Mad Hatters than students!
I always shy away from two week assignments because I was afraid I might fall apart with my lack of stamina but I surprised myself. I managed okay despite the difficulties I encountered.
I told my sub coordinator I will do two week assignments in the future if I’m able to meet the teacher in advance and have everything planned out like the Normandy Invasion. BP people need structure and key to success is to be organized. The teacher I took over had a good lesson plan in her little blue book but failed to Xerox the paper work I needed or detail instructions which books I should Xerox from or which CD I should play….found no sticky notes showing the specific tracks I should play.
Plus no dire consequences to students who behave badly. Some teachers are real good giving support to substitutes even if they leave for a day and usually students who don’t cooperate will find detentions or rewards when the regular teacher gets back.
So the end results my two week assignment became like the Spanish Armanda getting caught in a bad storm trying to invade England. I survived and so did the kids.
When the assignment was over….my stinking thinking started. My husband and I took a trip to Las Vegas for our 6th honeymoon. We didn’t gamble but just rented a car to see the Hoover Dam and drive around Red Rock Canyon. My moods were mixed by this time. I didn’t know if I should cry or laugh. When I looked at the photographs of myself from my husband’s digit camera I noticed the “disconnection” in my face.
When I couldn’t stop giggling on the plane ride back east and getting odd looks from my husband and son….I knew it was time I needed to get a appointment with my doctor ASAP. He took me off my Wellbutrin and increased my Clonazepam to four tablets a day. Another appointment he decreased it to three tablets because I complained I was sleeping too much which I really needed in the beginning but I can’t be taking naps when I’m working at school. I do take naps in the teachers lounge when I have a break and no one complains. They can talk to my sub coordinator if they don’t like my form of meditation.
Things are starting to settle out and its always wait and see.
My doctor wants me to try a new mood stablizer but only after school ends I told him.
I still have bills to pay.
Have a Good Day!