I think there’s a wall for all of us who have bipolar disorder. I certainly ran into mine this week. What I really hate about this illness is that I can get better and better and then suddenly, it just takes one thing to make that wall raise up and slam me in the face.
I don’t think that the people who care about us and help us professionally have any idea what this feels like. That is probably a good thing as I don’t wish bipolar on anyone.
My bipolar wall is up less and less these days. I can really do so much more than I used to. I just have to listen to the signs my body gives me when I’ve done too much.
This week I did too much and have paid for it. I am now taking care of myself. It was a good day today and I plan to get better daily.
Julie
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Julie,
Does this wall build up around your heart to where you think too much and don’t feel? This is what my wall is like.
Ellen
Hi Ellen,
This happens when I’m depressed- it’s terrible and hard to fight. I cry a lot. But I know it can’t possibly be real- because it’s not like this when I’m stable. This tells me it’s depression. That is why I know my depression symptoms and my stable symptoms.
But this wall can also be protective when it’s needed. I know that those of us with bipolar disorder can get so much more hurt when others are not kind or we care for someone who does not return our affections. In other words, we must be kind, open and loving and at all times protect ourselves from relationship triggers.
It’s an incredibly difficult balance, but definaly possible. Julie